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  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications (edition ), 1998

    0882143425 / 9780882143422

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    Seller: BooksRun, Philadelphia, PA, U.S.A.BooksRun

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    Paperback. Condition: Fair. The item might be beaten up but readable. May contain markings or highlighting, as well as stains, bent corners, or any other major defect, but the text is not obscured in any way.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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    Seller: ThriftBooks-Reno, Reno, NV, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Reno

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    Paperback. Condition: Fair. No Jacket. Readable copy. Pages may have considerable notes/highlighting. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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    Seller: ThriftBooks-Phoenix, Phoenix, AZ, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Phoenix

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  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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    Paperback. Condition: Good. No Jacket. Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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    Seller: ThriftBooks-Atlanta, AUSTELL, GA, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Atlanta

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    Paperback. Condition: Fair. No Jacket. Readable copy. Pages may have considerable notes/highlighting. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

    • Softcover

    Seller: ThriftBooks-Dallas, Dallas, TX, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Dallas

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    Paperback. Condition: Fair. No Jacket. Readable copy. Pages may have considerable notes/highlighting. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

    • Softcover

    Seller: Evergreen Goodwill, Seattle, WA, U.S.A.Evergreen Goodwill

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    paperback. Condition: Acceptable. Pages include notes, underlining, or highlighting.

  • Language: English

    Published by World Books Collective, 2015

    0692587853 / 9780692587850

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    Seller: World of Books (was SecondSale), Montgomery, IL, U.S.A.World of Books (was SecondSale)

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    Paperback. Condition: Very Good. Heartbreak is a triple loss At first, the physical absence of the partner seems like the only cause of our suffering and one is under the illusion that if he or she would only come back, all would be fine again. It is truly an illusion because there are three absentees in the drama of heartbreak. The first is the beloved, and even if that person were to come back, the second, the person you were with the beloved, and the third, the person you were for the beloved, are never coming back. This triple loss explains the loss of a sense of identity. Individuals suffering heartbreak have nightmares of losing their nametag, passport, car keys, of being lost in a strange city, of walking in a cemetery and reading their name on a funeral monument, of having no voice, no head, no body, of coming to work and somebody else's name is on the door of their office, or coming home and their mother asks them to introduce themselves. all are metaphors of an estrangement from the self. The only solution is to become somebody else. Philosophers have argued that our identity is a psychosocial construct, a compromise between what our parents want, what society wants, and what we think we want. Since identity is a construct, it follows that is can be deconstructed. The myth of the divine rights of kings is a perfect example of a deconstructionist attack on a value that was no longer sustainable. Heartbreak is a similar demolition derby of an obsolete identity. The lover, a mirror who used to reflect a positive image of yourself, now reflects nothing, or if it does, it is a tarnished, ugly picture that communicates, sorry, but you are no longer adequate. The identity built to attract and relate to the partner is a dead cable connector. Heartbreak is such a rough deconstruction that it is felt at first like a death of the self. There is a word for that feeling: alienation, which means a separation from oneself. This book helps you answer the following question: if I cannot be who I was, who can I become? Invent, discover, imagine, try, and become that new person. Table of Content CHAPTER 1 BYPASS YOUR SYNAPTIC BUNDLE OF FEAR The three actors in your drama Your crocodile psychology: grab, grip, hit There you are my crocodile Your puppy psychology: beg, whine, wait. Your regression to a preverbal vulnerability Attachment theories There you are my puppy The wolf separated from the pack the broken heart syndrome The art of consoling Neuromania and Darwinitis Is it in my genes, my brain or my soul? Becoming a wise human The inner and the outer CHAPTER 2 NEUROSCIENCE AND THE UNCONSCIOUS My life in a copter The end of the behaviorist dominance You can't repair the past The slave complex No ego, no Self, no identity. CHAPTER 3 WHAT YOU MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU I am a champion procrastinator I am dependent but won't admit it I feel inadequate but cover it with uppityness Unload some projections CHAPTER 4 AH JEALOUSY Rivalry can be a factor of evolution You don't own the partner Beware of psychic inflation There is a way around jealousy Is it envy or jealousy? CHAPTER 5 RELATIONSHIP ADDICTION The realm of the invisible Heartbreak is a triple loss CHAPTER 6 NARCISSISM: A TREND AND A CURSE The rage of a baby Learn to smell a narcissist The narcissist as a self-loathing individual The narcissist as a self-adoring individual The trophy partner: narcissism by another name Monica, the figid beauty queen The cashmere label.…

  • Language: English

    Published by NYU Press, 1990

    081471448X / 9780814714485

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    Seller: ThriftBooks-Atlanta, AUSTELL, GA, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Atlanta

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    Paperback. Condition: Very Good. No Jacket. May have limited writing in cover pages. Pages are unmarked. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by NYU Press, 1990

    081471448X / 9780814714485

    • Softcover

    Seller: ThriftBooks-Dallas, Dallas, TX, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Dallas

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    Paperback. Condition: Fair. No Jacket. Former library book; Readable copy. Pages may have considerable notes/highlighting. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by NYU Press, 1990

    081471448X / 9780814714485

    • Softcover

    Seller: ThriftBooks-Atlanta, AUSTELL, GA, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Atlanta

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    Paperback. Condition: Fair. No Jacket. Readable copy. Pages may have considerable notes/highlighting. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by Yearling, 1996

    0440410762 / 9780440410768

    • Softcover

    Seller: Wonder Book, Frederick, MD, U.S.A.Wonder Book

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    Condition: Used - Good

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    Condition: Good. Good condition. A copy that has been read but remains intact. May contain markings such as bookplates, stamps, limited notes and highlighting, or a few light stains.

  • Language: English

    Published by Phaidon Press, 2015

    071486952X / 9780714869520

    • Hardcover

    Seller: Zoom Books East, Glendale Heights, IL, U.S.A.Zoom Books East

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    Condition: very_good. Book is in very good condition and may include minimal underlining highlighting. The book can also include "From the library of" labels. May not contain miscellaneous items toys, dvds, etc. . We offer 100% money back guarantee and 24 7 customer service.

  • Language: English

    Published by Phaidon Press, Incorporated, 2015

    071486952X / 9780714869520

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    Seller: Better World Books, Mishawaka, IN, U.S.A.Better World Books

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    Condition: Very Good. Pages intact with possible writing/highlighting. Binding strong with minor wear. Dust jackets/supplements may not be included. Stock photo provided. Product includes identifying sticker. Better World Books: Buy Books. Do Good.

  • Language: English

    Published by Phaidon Press, Incorporated, 2015

    071486952X / 9780714869520

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    Seller: Better World Books, Mishawaka, IN, U.S.A.Better World Books

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    Condition: Good. Former library copy. Pages intact with minimal writing/highlighting. The binding may be loose and creased. Dust jackets/supplements are not included. Includes library markings. Stock photo provided. Product includes identifying sticker. Better World Books: Buy Books. Do Good.

  • Language: English

    Published by Phaidon Press, 2015

    071486952X / 9780714869520

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    Seller: World of Books (was SecondSale), Montgomery, IL, U.S.A.World of Books (was SecondSale)

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    Condition: Acceptable. Item in acceptable condition! Textbooks may not include supplemental items i.e. CDs, access codes etc.

  • Language: French

    Published by LA Courte Echelle, 2005

    2890210650 / 9782890210653

    • Softcover

    Seller: World of Books (was SecondSale), Montgomery, IL, U.S.A.World of Books (was SecondSale)

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    Condition: Very Good. Item in very good condition! Textbooks may not include supplemental items i.e. CDs, access codes etc.

  • Language: English

    Published by Facts on File, 1995

    0816033951 / 9780816033959

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    Seller: Greenworld Books, arlington, TX, U.S.A.Greenworld Books

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    Condition: good. Fast Free Shipping â" Good condition. It may show normal signs of use, such as light writing, highlighting, or library markings, but all pages are intact and the book is fully readable. A solid, complete copy that's ready to enjoy.

  • Language: English

    Published by Facts on File, 1995

    0816033951 / 9780816033959

    • Softcover

    Seller: Wonder Book, Frederick, MD, U.S.A.Wonder Book

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    Condition: Very Good. Very Good condition. A copy that may have a few cosmetic defects. May also contain light spine creasing or a few markings such as an owner's name, short gifter's inscription or light stamp.

  • Language: English

    Published by Phaidon Press, 2015

    071486952X / 9780714869520

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    Seller: Half Price Books Inc., Dallas, TX, U.S.A.Half Price Books Inc.

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    Hardcover. Condition: Very Good. Connecting readers with great books since 1972! Used books may not include companion materials, and may have some shelf wear or limited writing. We ship orders daily and Customer Service is our top priority.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143425 / 9780882143422

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    Seller: ThriftBooks-Atlanta, AUSTELL, GA, U.S.A.ThriftBooks-Atlanta

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    Paperback. Condition: Good. No Jacket. Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.

  • Language: English

    Published by New York University Press, 1990

    081471448X / 9780814714485

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    Seller: Better World Books, Mishawaka, IN, U.S.A.Better World Books

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    Condition: Very Good. Pages intact with possible writing/highlighting. Binding strong with minor wear. Dust jackets/supplements may not be included. Stock photo provided. Product includes identifying sticker. Better World Books: Buy Books. Do Good.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, Incorporated, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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    Seller: Better World Books, Mishawaka, IN, U.S.A.Better World Books

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    Condition: Good. Former library copy. Pages intact with minimal writing/highlighting. The binding may be loose and creased. Dust jackets/supplements are not included. Includes library markings. Stock photo provided. Product includes identifying sticker. Better World Books: Buy Books. Do Good.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, Incorporated, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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    Seller: Better World Books: West, Reno, NV, U.S.A.Better World Books: West

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    Hardcover. Condition: Good. No Jacket. X-Library book. Standard wear to cover and typical library markings. No dust jacket. 100% Money Back Guarantee!!.

  • Language: English

    Published by Spring Publications, 1998

    0882143301 / 9780882143309

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    Seller: Roundabout Books, Greenfield, MA, U.S.A.Roundabout Books

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    paperback. Condition: Good. Condition Notes: Moderate edge wear. Binding good. May have marking in text. We sometimes source from libraries. We ship in recyclable American-made mailers. 100% money-back guarantee on all orders.

  • Language: English

    Published by World Books Collective, 2015

    0692587853 / 9780692587850

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    Seller: World of Books Inc, Montgomery, IL, U.S.A.World of Books Inc

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    Paperback. Condition: Very Good. Heartbreak is a triple loss At first, the physical absence of the partner seems like the only cause of our suffering and one is under the illusion that if he or she would only come back, all would be fine again. It is truly an illusion because there are three absentees in the drama of heartbreak. The first is the beloved, and even if that person were to come back, the second, the person you were with the beloved, and the third, the person you were for the beloved, are never coming back. This triple loss explains the loss of a sense of identity. Individuals suffering heartbreak have nightmares of losing their nametag, passport, car keys, of being lost in a strange city, of walking in a cemetery and reading their name on a funeral monument, of having no voice, no head, no body, of coming to work and somebody else's name is on the door of their office, or coming home and their mother asks them to introduce themselves. all are metaphors of an estrangement from the self. The only solution is to become somebody else. Philosophers have argued that our identity is a psychosocial construct, a compromise between what our parents want, what society wants, and what we think we want. Since identity is a construct, it follows that is can be deconstructed. The myth of the divine rights of kings is a perfect example of a deconstructionist attack on a value that was no longer sustainable. Heartbreak is a similar demolition derby of an obsolete identity. The lover, a mirror who used to reflect a positive image of yourself, now reflects nothing, or if it does, it is a tarnished, ugly picture that communicates, sorry, but you are no longer adequate. The identity built to attract and relate to the partner is a dead cable connector. Heartbreak is such a rough deconstruction that it is felt at first like a death of the self. There is a word for that feeling: alienation, which means a separation from oneself. This book helps you answer the following question: if I cannot be who I was, who can I become? Invent, discover, imagine, try, and become that new person. Table of Content CHAPTER 1 BYPASS YOUR SYNAPTIC BUNDLE OF FEAR The three actors in your drama Your crocodile psychology: grab, grip, hit There you are my crocodile Your puppy psychology: beg, whine, wait. Your regression to a preverbal vulnerability Attachment theories There you are my puppy The wolf separated from the pack the broken heart syndrome The art of consoling Neuromania and Darwinitis Is it in my genes, my brain or my soul? Becoming a wise human The inner and the outer CHAPTER 2 NEUROSCIENCE AND THE UNCONSCIOUS My life in a copter The end of the behaviorist dominance You can't repair the past The slave complex No ego, no Self, no identity. CHAPTER 3 WHAT YOU MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU I am a champion procrastinator I am dependent but won't admit it I feel inadequate but cover it with uppityness Unload some projections CHAPTER 4 AH JEALOUSY Rivalry can be a factor of evolution You don't own the partner Beware of psychic inflation There is a way around jealousy Is it envy or jealousy? CHAPTER 5 RELATIONSHIP ADDICTION The realm of the invisible Heartbreak is a triple loss CHAPTER 6 NARCISSISM: A TREND AND A CURSE The rage of a baby Learn to smell a narcissist The narcissist as a self-loathing individual The narcissist as a self-adoring individual The trophy partner: narcissism by another name Monica, the figid beauty queen The cashmere label.…

  • Language: English

    Published by Vendome Press, The, 1999

    0789303795 / 9780789303790

    • Hardcover

    Seller: Better World Books: West, Reno, NV, U.S.A.Better World Books: West

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    Condition: Good. Former library copy. Pages intact with minimal writing/highlighting. The binding may be loose and creased. Dust jackets/supplements are not included. Includes library markings. Stock photo provided. Product includes identifying sticker. Better World Books: Buy Books. Do Good.