The Shelbourne Ultimatum - Softcover

O'Carroll-Kelly, Ross

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1844882284 ISBN 13: 9781844882281

Publisher: Penguin Ireland, 2012

Synopsis

After his brush with death Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - schools rugby legend, award-winning author and lover of the ladeez - is back with a renewed lust for life - all thrillingly revealed in The Shelbourne Ultimatum.

Ross wakes up from his coma to find a country that has changed beyond recognition. Shrewsbury Road has become a ghost estate. Marks and Spencer are selling microwavable coddle. And a Euro discount store is about to open in the Powerscourt Townhouse Centre. And he was only unconscious for ten days.

But never mind all that. The main thing is that whoever tried to kill him missed all his vital organs. All his vital organs. And having had such a lucky escape Ross vows not to waste another minute of his life. There are thousands of women out there and just one Ross to go around. He needs to focus.

Of course, life gets in the way. He has a daughter who hates him, a son who is growing up way too fast and a soon-to-be-ex wife who is resorting to increasingly desperate measures to stop the bank from repossessing the house. Oh, and the Gords - get this! - think he's lying to them.

Lying? Ross?

'Ross's misadventures and on-the-nose observations never fail to provoke a laugh-out-loud reaction ... bursting at the seams with spot-on parody' Irish Times

'Will leave you with pains in your cheeks from laughing' RTÉ Guide

The Shelbourne Ultimatum is the twelfth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. Ross books have sold half a million copies, are annually nominated for the Popular Fiction prize at the Irish Book Awards - where they have twice won the prize - and are also critically acclaimed as satirical masterpieces. Titles include The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress, Should have Got off at Sydney Parade, This Champagne Mojito is the Last Thing I Own, Rhino What You Did Last Summer, NAMA Mia! and The Oh My God Delusion. The last of these was chosen as Ireland's favourite book in Eason's 125th birthday poll.

About this title

About the Author

The Shelbourne Ultimatum is the twelfth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. Formerly a distinguished journalist, Paul is one of Ireland's leading satirists and apart from the award-winning and best-selling 'Ross' novels and stage plays, in recent times he has also written Triggs, a 'biography' of Roy Keane's dog, and Anglo: The Musical, a musical based on Ireland's financial collapse.

From the Back Cover

I woke up from a coma to a country that had changed beyond recognition.

Shrewsbury Road had become a ghost estate. Marks and Spencer were selling microwavable coddle. And a Euro discount store was about to open in the Powerscourt Townhouse Centre. God, I was only unconscious for ten days.

Meanwhile, the Gords wanted to talk to me. They were obviously pretty interested in finding out who shot me. The problem was that I couldn't actually remember. The entire incident was a basic blank.

There was at least some good news. Whoever pulled the trigger had missed my vital organs by inches - including the most vital one of all. I made a promise, there and then in St Vincent's Private Hospital, that I wasn't going to waste another minute of my life. There were thousands of beautiful women out there who had never known the pleasure of my company - and that was going to change, the minute my wounds healed and I was off my crutches.

But the path to hot love seldom runs smoothly. I had problems to deal with. A daughter who hated my basic guts. A son who was growing up way too fast. A soon-to-be-ex-wife who was resorting to increasingly desperate measures to stop the bank from repossessing the house.

Oh, and the Gords were having one or two problems believing my story ...

Praise for Ross O'Carroll-Kelly:

'Side-achingly funny' Sunday Independent
'Razor sharp, magnificently plotted and an utter joy to read' Irish Mail on Sunday
'Will leave you with pains in your cheeks from laughing' RTÉ Guide
'A smile per paragraph, a chuckle per page, and at least one belly laugh per chapter' Hot Press

Edition details

• Publisher: Penguin Ireland
• Publication date: 2012
• ISBN 10: 1844882284
• ISBN 13: 9781844882281
• Binding: Paperback
• Language: English
• Number of pages: 432