Don't Call Me Princess - Hardcover

Kate Evans

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 1780264658 ISBN 13: 9781780264653

Publisher: New Internationalist, 2018

Synopsis

Are you fed up of Fairy-Tale Princesses waiting to be saved?

And do you want some decent heroines who aren't so well-behaved?

What if we gave The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White some brand new Happy Ever Afters… and an up-to-date rewrite?

Kate Evans's refreshing retake on traditional tales is destined to become an instant classic. Essential reading for all ages.

'Kate Evans's brilliant new book is filled with creepy kissy princes and tough little girls. She's turned fairy tales on their heads, bringing us better stories of long long ago and far far away. For girls who aspire to more than finding their happiness in a prince.' Henny Beaumont, author of Hole in the Heart

About this title

About the Author

Kate Evans is is a cartoonist, artist, and activist. She is the author of numerous books and zines including Bump: How to Make, Grow and Birth a Baby, The Food of Love: Your Formula for Successful Breastfeeding, Funny Weather: Everything You Didn't Want to Know About Climate Change but Probably Should Find Out, Red Rosa and Threads. She was awarded the John C. Laurence Award in 2016, and the Broken Frontier Award for Best Graphic Non-Fiction in 2017.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

pp. 2-3
I wanna talk about the story of the Princess and the Pea.There's lots about princesses here that makes no sense to me.

So a princess turns up soaking wet, bangs on the castle door,
The prince's mother lets her in. She can't sleep on the floor.
One pea, then twenty mattresses are piled up in a heap:
It's a test to see if "princess" here can feel it in her sleep.

We're meant to think a princess is so sensitive and soft
That a single pea can wake her?

Don't make me laugh my head off!

pp. 4-5
You know what really happened here? This canny girl said "What
Are all those mattresses piled up for?
Has the Queen gone off her nut?"

So she looked and found the pea and worked out why they put it there
And then pretended in the morning:
"Didn't sleep a wink, I swear!"

That must have been what happened, since the story as it's told
Is too stupid to believe: so this girl comes in from the cold
Where she's walked for miles and battled storms to reach the castle gate
Yet when she's tucked up warm and cosy, just one pea keeps her awake?

Please don't call me Princess. That's not what I want to be.
I'd rather sleep just anywhere and not bruise easily.

pp. 6-7
Another sleeping princess here. Her name is Sleeping Beauty.
If you found the last tale strange, well, this one’s absolutely loopy.

The girl is cursed. She pricks her thumb. She swiftly falls asleep.
A tangled, thorny hedge grows up around the castle keep.

Then one hundred years later – that’s a very long time, mind,
A prince hacks his way through it, and we’re meant to think he’s kind.

OK, let’s see what happens next, and let’s identify
What he does wrong, ‘cause really, I’m not sure about this guy.

pp. 8-9
If you find someone asleep, and she has been like that for years
You could maybe whisper “Please wake up!” quite gently in her ears.
If that won’t work, give her a shake, or even try a shout.
But you’ve never even met her SO DON’T KISS HER ON THE MOUTH!

Here’s how this story should end: Beauty wakes up with a yell
“Hey! Who are you? Don’t kiss me! I don’t know you! And you smell!”

“But don’t I get to marry you? I’d like to be the king.”
“No! The only men I need right now are good at gardening.”

I don’t want to be a Princess. You can keep your crown of gold.
And I won’t be wanting marriage when I’m one hundred years old.
........

pp. 28-29
People call me “Princess” any time I wear a dress.
They ask me if I like it and expect me to say “yes”.
Why is it always “Princess”? What could they say instead
If they stopped looking at my body and they thought about my head?

Call me “Astronaut” or “Journalist” or “Carpenter” or “Teacher”
Or “Counsellor” or “Play Worker” or “Brain Surgeon” or “Preacher”.
Women do all kinds of things while wearing lovely clothes.
But please don’t call me Princess, cos I’m never one of those.

My mom is not a Queen, you see. My dad is not a King.
Instead of being a Princess, I CAN BE ANYTHING!

pp. 30-31
The stories that we tell ourselves affect us powerfully.
They shape our world and tell us who we are, and how to be.
And we can rewrite stories. Easy. Jumble up the letters.
We don’t have to tell the old ones. Take a pen and make them better.
Girls can be the heroes. Women can be strong.
In this hour, find your power, and let’s really right some wrongs.

I’m not waiting for Prince Charming, scared I’ll end up on the shelf.
I’ll write my own happy ending. And I think I’ll save myself.

The End

Edition details

• Publisher: New Internationalist
• Publication date: 2018
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1780264658
• ISBN 13: 9781780264653
• Binding: Hardcover
• Number of pages: 32