Just Who Am I Training Anyway: A Common Sense Guide To Teaching - Softcover

Slater, David

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1466909986 ISBN 13: 9781466909984

Publisher: Trafford, 2012

About this title

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

JUST WHO AM I TRAINING ANYWAY

A COMMON SENSE GUIDE TO TEACHINGBy Dave Slater

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Dave Slater
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-0998-4

Contents

CONTEXT.......................................................................3PRELUDE.......................................................................4INTRODUCTION..................................................................5PART 1 DISCOVERING THE TEACHER................................................8CHAPTER 1. THE QUESTIONS......................................................9CHAPTER 2: UNDERSTANDING THE FUNDAMENTALS OF TEACHING.........................15CHAPTER 3: FOUR PRIMARY TEACHING APPROACHES...................................24CHAPTER 4: THE STEPS FOR BECOMING A BETTER TEACHER............................42CHAPTER 5: LEARNING THE POWER OF PROBLEM SOLVING..............................67CHAPTER 6: WHEN AM I WASTING MY TIME..........................................92PART 2 DISCOVERING THE STUDENT................................................103CHAPTER 7: UNDERSTANDING THE STUDENT..........................................104CHAPTER 8: EVEN A TEENAGER WILL MAKE SENSE....................................123CHAPTER 9: HOW LEARNING TAKES PLACE...........................................140CHAPTER 10: WHAT INFLUENCES A CHILD TO REACT..................................161PART 3 WHAT WILL I TEACH......................................................183CHAPTER 11 INSPIRING THRU BOMB PROOF CHARACTER TRAITS.........................184FAITH TO PRAY.................................................................190RESPECT.......................................................................193SELF ESTEEM and SELF CONFIDENCE...............................................198THRIFTINESS...................................................................203DISCERNMENT...................................................................207COMMITMENT....................................................................212HONESTY.......................................................................218TOLERATING THE PAINS OF INCONVENIENCE.........................................220COURAGE.......................................................................228UNDERSTANDING THE PRINCIPLE OF PRACTICE.......................................231ENJOYMENT OF LIFE.............................................................234PART 4 INCREASING EFFECTIVESNESS..............................................239CHAPTER 12: AM I AN EFFECTIVE TEACHER.........................................240CHAPTER 13: GOING BACK TO THE BASICS..........................................248CHAPTER 14: A LESSON OF PRACTISE..............................................271CHAPTER 15: GRADUATING ESCALATION OF INVOLEMENT...............................283CHAPTER 16: HOW TO DELIVER AN EFFECTIVE PUNISHMENT............................316CHAPTER 17: NOW IS NOT TIME TO QUIT...........................................341CHAPTER 18: PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHE............................................369PART 5 THE ULTIMATE TEACHERS..................................................393CHAPTER 19: RECEIVING GUIDANCE FROM THE ULTIMATE TEACHERS.....................394INDEX.........................................................................408

Chapter One

THE QUESTIONS

"You're late! Just where have you been?" she bombarded. Her words delivered the instant the door opened; a peeved anger resonated through her voice.

"We went to the Dairy Freeze after leaving Cindy's. I didn't think you'd—"

"So yah thought you'd sneak in again, did yah?"

In attempt to explain herself, the trapped daughter started again. "Mom, I'd—" only to be chopped short once more by her irritated mother.

"I've waited up two hours just to catch you, young lady!"

"Why can't you just ask me how it went," flashed back Sue in retaliation, "without jumping down my throat?"

"WE NEED TO TALK NOW!" shouted mom.

"Not when you're acting like such a jerk!" Sue's countenance flipped flopped one-eighty degrees triggered by mother's lead. Her retort started at the shrieking level of mom's, and then increased further to about 100 decibels. Simultaneously she thrust out her tongue, shook her hands, and waved her fore-arms side to side, all the while teetering at her trunk. Theatrically she purposely mimicked mom's freak-out. With that, she turned flamboyantly and started marching towards her room.

"Don't talk to me like that!" screeched mother. "Wait `till I tell your father about this; he'll ground you for a month!" Yet Sue, without looking back, was still continuing up the stairs. "Did you hear what I said, young lady?"

"Yah, like that'll be the day!" hollered down the freshly aroused she-devil. "I am tired and I am going to bed. I don't have time to deal with your anger", she shouted back with mirroring vengeance. Sue jeered back over her shoulder for one last scowl. Her extravagant melodramatic display only succeeded to distract her pounding accent, causing her to snag a high-healed sandal on the carpeted stairs. She stumbled to catch herself, but missed quick placement on her now out-of-sequence bare foot. Sharply she stubbed her toe, causing a cry out of pain, "OH," she yipped.

Mom cringed slightly at the teen's misfortune, but quickly passed on offering sympathy. Allowing only her own justification of anger, "She desired that!" Mom reveled.

Discounting her throbbing toe and abandoned sandal, the youth forced her defiant march up the last flight. Stomping down the hall, she threw open her bedroom door, burst in, and then slammed it closed, so-as-to drive home to mom the message: "YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE."

"That girl has got me so worked up," thought mom. "I should have just smacked her right then and there; maybe then I'd get some respect. It sure would have made me feel a whole lot better."

"Damn kid," she thought climbing in bed. Stealing a look at her alarm clock; it was 12:45a.m. "Now, I won't be able to sleep a wink." Fuming she thought of how tired she'd be at work tomorrow.

Lying in bed, the remembrance of the evening's disaster was keeping her awake. The clock showed 2:53. Over two hours had passed and Mom still continued to fret over the earlier incident, but fading was the personal anger she felt over the ill effects from Sue's lack of respect. Replacing it was a mind full of so many questions.

"Maybe, I should just forget about it and leave her to learn responsibility on her own? That sure would be a whole lot easier." Thoughts continued to bombard her as stinging hail driven in a stiff wind.

"Looking back at last night, I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't jumped all over her? What if I'd just given her a hug, or at least given her the benefit of doubt as to why she was late again ... at least until she could explain?" Mom's chance for sleep was now long gone. "She's only fifteen; and not yet an adult. How could I have been so rough on her? ... Poor kid"

The correct answers were just not there. More thoughts raced through her mind, each one leading to others. Each thought directing a mini role-play. Which was right? What effect would the different approaches make on Sue, if played out?

"It seems that for the past two years every time I confront Sue, we end up in a fight. I just want Sue to be more respectful and to see the error of her ways." Mom continued to question herself further, "I am doing this for her own good, aren't I?"

"Although Sue never minds what I say, I still think she's basically a good kid. She does get along with her father, but why wouldn't she? He acts more like her friend than a dad ... she has no reasons to fight and or to have any problems with him!"

"Why, that man hardly ever disciplines her. It is though all he is interested in is having a good time and doesn't want to spoil it by creating any problems. ... Stirring up problems, now that's something he leaves to me. I surely remember his two greatest quotes, `I am not the one with the problem. If you have a problem with it, then you do something about it.' Or he would say, `That's your problem, not mine!'"

Throughout her night of lost sleep and mind numbing questions, one thing was starting to stick in her mind. It seemed to not go away; her tired brain kept coming back to it again and again. She forced this thought in order to give a relief to the night's difficulties: "Basically, with Sue, I have a problem." It was an effort to give clarity to her questioning mind, and it did offer an ease and a relief to lump all the turmoil of the past months together.

"Yes, that's it; basically, I have a problem," she mused as she sought slumber. "Now ... sleep might come." With this new defined solemn, almost did a peace overtake her.

Suddenly, without warning she was once more jolted back into consciousness and into vivid recollection! "What's that again; did I say, `I have a problem?' I sure don't like where this is going." Again the questioning started. She summonsed her energy to dismiss that weak moment's thought by forcing a new fixation on: "I am not the one with the problem, Sue is. She makes me so mad sometimes!"

Once more back to her mind came her previous thought, like a pesky fly that is swatted away; it still keeps returning to circle around for another bussing. "And that word "Basically", it sure sounds a lot like, "Basics". Wasn't "Basics" the very word which Greg Taylor was using the other day?" Now mom was not just thinking, but actually carrying a conversation on with herself.

"Yes, I do remember it was "basics", or rather it was, "Back to the Basics" which he was using while referring to my horse. I had been having difficulties with my pretty palomino, problem horse. Greg saw and then offered a helping suggestion."

"My Problem Horse", sort of reminds me of my daughter. It won't mind and it tries to get away with things. Sometimes it even seems to fight with me when I try to control it. Often I have to force it to rein, just like Sue." Mom's thoughts were now beginning to channel together, giving her force and momentum.

"Now I remember exactly what he did say, `In order to get that horse to settle down, you are going to have to go back to the basics.' Greg should know; he spends a lot of time training his horses. His daughters show them in competitions and do very well. Of course his daughters behave very well themselves, also. When they come over and visit with Sue, they are so polite. I don't think I have ever heard any of them talking about fighting with their parents. Yes, his daughters are well trained like his horses.... So unlike mine!"

"I recall last fall, the new horse he got for his oldest daughter; it was a big spoiled pet. Still, he bragged, `I paid six thousand dollars for that blood line.' Mom continued to focus in on her neighbor and his horse, "In just four months that bay acted like a totally new animal. It developed a different attitude; it was willing, supple, and submissive to his daughters. That horse, after his training, didn't fight with them nor was it spoiled and demanding; it even seemed to look toward experiencing new things."

"I just want to teach Sue the right things to do," mom again switched her thoughts back to her daughter and allowed herself the luxury of dwelling on that thought for a while. Then appearing as a wild stallion breaking out of a corral and heading back to the hills racing for his freedom while gathering speed and desire the closer it got, here was her new thought racing through her mind: Doing the correct things for the right reasons. All was starting to make sense.

"Last night sure didn't turn out the way I'd have wanted," she again saw a new replay of the previous night's scene in her mind; only this time it was starting to have a different ending.... "Yes that's it! That's the answer!" In order for my involvement with Sue to go a new direction and have a different ending, we must have a new beginning— I think I've found where to start.

A plan was starting to form in mother's mind, "Tomorrow I'll go over and talk more to Greg; I believe that there may be something to that phrase, "Back to the Basics," his horse sure benefited. I am beginning to understanding his success with his daughters also."

Have you ever found yourself in the dilemma of Sue's mom, of having more questions than answers regarding how to handle others? If so, this book is for you.

You are now taking the time to read, and also, attempting to gain knowledge about a chosen subject. You are currently approaching a teachable state. Let me, in this book, share with you some of my experiences that have helped me see the correlation between training a horse and teaching children. In fact, you will see the similarities with all other forms of teaching and interaction with others. As you ponder and understand this guide, you will begin thinking, "Now that makes sense; it's so easy."

Just read and follow the guidelines and you too will have a new beginning in your quest to becoming more effective as an imparter of knowledge. You will realize how and why learning takes place. You will see yourself not only as a parent, but also a skilled child trainer when you implement the ideas that you'll learn. New tips will enter with force into your mind as your inspiration process awakens more fully.

You will develop a new relationship with your charges when you are committed to train and enlighten. You will get more results. Sit back, find some quiet place and allow yourself, like Sue's mom, to enter into the Common Horse Sense Guide to Teaching.

Chapter Two

UNDERSTANDING THE FUNDAMENTALS OF TEACHING

Teaching is like the public demonstration of an artist's talent: many display in exhibition of their mastery; others strive to inspire and enhance another's understandings.

In order for you the reader, acquiring knowledge as a student, and I the author, arousing you from my role as a trainer, to get anywhere in our goal of you becoming a better imparter of knowledge, we first need to establish a foundation from which to work. We should come together on common ground. You should become aware of the terms and generalities used in this book, so that we may communicate in the same language.

Parents, adults, supervisors, even friends who find themselves with something to pass-on are all possible teachers. All have the potential to impart of their understandings.

Whenever you have any sort of interaction with a child, you are taking on the role of teacher and educator of the lessons of life. This book will help you recognize what lessons your children are learning. It will give you the power to deal with problematic behaviors. The answers are found in this common sense book to the question, "What is the most valuable role I can take to prepare them for life?"

And for you, who find yourself in the position as a supervisor or a trainer to employees or other charges, this book also addresses: "How can I expand my skills in order to better facilitate my charge's improvement?" All who attempt to educate others can benefit.

The design of this book is to enable any form of teacher to combine a horse sense used in the training of horses, together with a newly awakened common sense approach towards teaching, and use both in the teaching of the willing student, or in effectively dealing with the problematic child. This wisdom will inspire all to improve and become more effective as educators, thereby meeting the needs and wants of their students. This book will empower you as a parent, employer, professional teacher, or even simply as an experienced traveler who has passed through some of life's paths to use the best timing and methods to impart some of your knowledge to others.

Foundational Definitions

A Guide is: 1} one who directs a motion through a strange place. 2} one who guides by example. 3} one who makes others aware of the forthcoming, by the sharing of information and experiences, or by the directing of the paths they should follow.

An Instructor is: an imparter of knowledge in a systematic order designed to accomplish a specific task.

A Master is: one who has displayed by his actions an advanced competence.

A Mentor is: a trusted counselor who has common interests with his pupil.

A Parent is: 1} biologically one who begets offspring. 2} one who takes on the role of being a primary provider and caregiver to his or her children.

In today's society parents have implied jurisdiction, and so, they are therefore deemed in charge of and have the responsibility for their own children, unless proven to be incapable of meeting the child's basic physical and mental needs. As a parent it is necessary to take on all the roles of a teacher in order to fulfill that primary role.

A Supervisor is: 1} one who oversees or directs a project. 2} one who directs or oversees other persons or charges in their involvement in a set activity.

A Trainer is: 1} a director of growth. 2} one who changes a behavior through his interaction. With his assisting of a charge to develop new skills, by the use of offering a discipline or a reward, a trainer will affect a charge in order to get a predetermined outcome.

All of the previous can be lumped into the definition of a Teacher.

The definition of a Teacher is: 1} any imparter of knowledge and wisdom. 2} one who shows, instructs, or presents new ideas. A teacher is any experienced being wishing to impart some understanding to another.

A Charge is: a person, or animal that is in the care of, under the responsibility of, or the recipient of the obligations of another.

A Child is: 1} a student to new ideas; a youth to new experiences and training. 2} any living body which is capable of learning. A child is moldable like an unhardened piece of clay which can be shaped by anyone, but reaches its highest potential when it is willing and pliable and can be sculptured by one possessing the right talents. A child certainly can be any progressive adult, if he is teachable and moldable. —By learning, he too is making headway toward his highest potential. {Because this book relates to both equine and all manner of students, the word "child" can encompasses any dependents, or charges of a teacher.}

In the instructions of this book often the words child, student, pupil, charge, youth, learner, or apprentice are used inter-changeably as they all can be associated with someone who is lacking in the experiences of life. They all can be associated with someone or something that has the capacity, or is willing to learn. To assist your learning, you will be exposed to the repetition of ideas. It is by repeated exposure that learning is solidified to one's thought process. When the student can recall a thought, or implement an idea as his own, then he is on the road to becoming a master.

Out-of-Control Behavior is the purposeful action of a body to deal with an unwanted situation without using compliance, respect, or an acceptable problem solving skill. It is not a behavior problem in which the displayer doesn't have a choice in what they are doing. It is a defense reaction used to cope with an unwanted feeling. The thing about an unwanted behavior that is truly out-of-control is the teacher's inability to change it unless he assertively confronts it.

A Reward is the offering of a gratification which is received either in the present, or the future; it is presented to a participant after their service or attainment. The obtaining of a reward encompasses much more than just someone else having to buy a behavior, or having to dig into their emotional savings account to pay compensation for a service. It is any type of physical or emotional gain recognized or received.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from JUST WHO AM I TRAINING ANYWAYby Dave Slater Copyright © 2012 by Dave Slater. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Edition details

• Publisher: Trafford
• Publication date: 2012
• Language: English
• ISBN 10: 1466909986
• ISBN 13: 9781466909984
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 412