SeinLanguage [VINTAGE 1993] [FIRST EDITION, FIRST PRINTING]

Fine unread condition charcoal boards, black cloth spine and blue spine lettering contained in a fine condition color photographic dust jacket. Includes Author Dedication; Preliminary Page Preface by Jerry Seinfeld and Introduction. Illustrated with black-and-white photographs. Table of Contents is as follows: Introduction, Freeway of Love, Personal Maintenance, Paldom, Shut Up and Drive, Job Security, The Thing is the Thing, Out and Back, and The Ride of Your Life. "I certainly never imagined at fifteen, when I started writing down these funny thoughts that kept coming into my head, that someday they would amount to a book. I never thought they would amount to anything, really. But a lot of people have this little corner of their brain that wants to play all the time. The idea of this book for me and for you is to keep that corner alive. It's good to play, and you must keep in practice. I still can't believe this book is in a bookstore. I love bookstores. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of physical evidence we have that people are still thinking. And I like the way it breaks down into fiction and nonfiction. In other words, these people are lying, and these people are telling the truth. That's the way the world should be. "Hi, I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I'm fiction." "I know." "How did you know?" "Because I'm nonfiction." I also find a bookstore to be a wonderful laxative. I don't know what it is. I don't know whether it's the quiet, or all the available reading material, but you walk in there and something just happens. I really think they should eliminate a couple of aisles and put in some nice men's and ladies' rooms in the back, and then a bookstore would really be a wonderful place to visit. I think the biggest problem bookstores have is not enough room by the cash register to sell stuff. They seem to feel this is the only really good selling area. They think "The only way we're going to unload this one is if their money's already out." Why not give each salesperson in the store their own cash register, and let them follow the customers around? When they see someone pick up a book, they sneak up behind hem and go, "cha-ching" and the customer will turn around and go, "Well I guess as long as you've got it rung up already." It must be frustrating to work at a bookstore. They see someone come in, spend two hours, and walk out with nothing. They must want to explode - just push the customer in the back as they exit, "So you know everything? There's nothing you need in here? There must be something you're at least interested in. Why did you come in here in the first place? We don't need you, you know." In a lot of ways, thats what a bookstore is. It's a "smarter than you" store. And that's why people are intimidated - because to walk into a bookstore, you have to admit there's something you don't know. And the worst part is you don't even know where it is. You go in the bookstore and you have to ask people, "Where is this? Where is that? Not only do I lack knowledge, I don't even know where to get it." So just to walk into a bookstore you're admitting to the world, "I'm not too bright." It's pretty impressive, really. But the pressure is on you now. This book is filled with funny ideas but you have to provide the delivery. So when you read it, remember - timing, inflection, attitude. That's comedy. I've done my part. The performance is up to you. And if you find at some point that you're not laughing, keep smiling, wipe your brow, and try to get them on the next bit." - excerpt from the Introduction by the great American living legend Jerry Seinfeld.…