telbin alves

I am not one.

I am many.

Within me there is a permanent assembly,

voices that disagree, memories that contradict each other,

faces that change according to the light of the soul.

At the invisible table of my spirit they all sit.

And I, strange host, serve myself in silence.

There is an old man who has already given up on almost everything.

There is a child who still hopes to be saved.

There is a wise man who understands too much and suffers because of it.

And there is a fool who insists on believing, even wounded.

You will never know who you are talking to.

Nor do I know, sometimes.

If you agree to sit with me, I don't promise constancy.

I promise only truth, even if fragmented.

I promise to give you one of my faces,

knowing that tomorrow I may no longer be the same.

I also carry what I hide from myself.

A dark, imperfect, all-too-human side

that I try to keep locked away not out of virtue,

but out of fear of recognizing who I can be.

I am not a saint.

I am not a role model.

I am conflict.

I live in the space between what I am and what I try to be.

And in this abyss I learn, slowly, to endure myself.

Perhaps one day I will unify.

Perhaps one day I will be whole.

Or perhaps wisdom lies precisely in accepting:

that being human is learning to coexist with one's own multitude.

And as has already been said,

the most difficult of all paths

is daring to conquer oneself.

Telbin Alves

Both faith and fear require you to believe in something you cannot see. The decision is yours…