Kermit Grenoille

Kermit Grenoille would first like to let you know that he is not, in fact, a frog. Ask him (we are assured that he is in fact male, but we have not checked) what he actually is, though, and he will smile and manage to tell you nothing at all for twenty minutes in exceedingly verbose fashion. Proving that “there is someone for avnyone,” he has not only against all odds found a life partner just as weird as he is, but also cheated Darwin three times, and dotes on his wife and three children. As a beginning author who writes for the sheer enjoyment of the process, he is flabbergasted that anyone would actually want to read his scribblings.