Dr. Jan Wade Gilbert

After building the better mousetrap, I waited for the world to beat on my door clamoring to buy one – at least one . . . and waited so long that I knew they weren’t coming. Actually, it wasn’t a mousetrap but a devise that holds the corners of a beach blanket in place on the sand. It works perfectly and isn’t like anything else in the world designed to do that.

It’s really adorable and ingenious and I never go to the beach without a set, which weighs much less than a bathing suit – even a bikini.

I invented other things and am still waiting on them as well.

In between inventions, I write.

My first book (written in 1981 on a typewriter) was just put into a computer file and will become the world’s most successful coffee table book because it is specific for Halloween and everyone will want one. It’s truthfully billed as “The Absolute Very Best And Perfect Halloween Coffee Table Book For The Superbly Sophisticated.” Let that be your heads-up about it.

What’s hot now is the surprise Holiday Gift of the year – of the past five years! “The Big Swallow” asks: If a woman drives her husband to commit suicide, can she be convicted of murder?

The Big Swallow is a book for people who are married or intend to become so. It has a surprise ending that nobody sees coming so please do not reveal it to anyone. I believe there is at least one review of the book.

And did I mention that I was a dentist for 43 years? One day, I decided that there are many other things in this world that I can be doing and sitting in a little room fixing teeth all day had lost its appeal. I gave up my dental licenses and never looked back.

Be on the lookout for Gospen, the superhero for the 22nd century. He’s a regular person – as are you – but learns how to control his subconscious – as can you – and from there he develops incredible powers – as can you. It’s true. It’s also really hard to do because it involves intense concentration and diligence but, for all intents and purposes, is real.

There are other writings coming along that will bring you to places in your mind that you never knew existed and make you think thoughts that will make you wonder about the world around you and inside you.

I’ve written so much I hope my daughter saves it all because when I’m gone, she’ll be able to really get to know her dad by what I wrote. She’s already 26 (but only 26) now and we get to see her often – but never often enough. The distance between where my wife and I live (Long Beach NY) and her Boston can be short or long depending on the circumstances. She gives the impression that she believes me to be strange; loving and fun but a little strange because of the way I think and what I feel is important.

I’ve got 2 of America’s problems solved (health, education) and can’t wait until someone asks me if I can bring America up to its potential because I’m ready. I think I may have to wait for that as well.

I tutor the two most important subjects in the world: writing and biology. They are deemed the most important because they impact humanity more than any other subjects. Biology is life and is as fascinating on the microscopic level as the universe is fascinating on the grand scale. Writing is not like any other subject; neither in school nor out. It is without boundaries and is limitless.

I’ve dabbled in photography as well and was the best athlete on my block and Brighton Beach Brooklyn was a well populated neighborhood. In college, my friend said (many years later) that I was the best athlete with whom he’d ever played ball. Of course, his verbiage was not quite as eloquent as that and today he teaches psychology at a Maryland college. I should ask him if he thinks I’m strange.

Our 2 cats cuddle in close to me when I sleep so I can’t be too bad a person and by now you might be wondering why I have no photo. I’m way too ugly for a photo; too, too ugly.

My unbiased wife never says that and she’s been looking at me for 36 years. Her cuteness and being adorable (and smart, insightful and a great cook) may prevent people from seeing me or even bothering to look at me when she’s around so I comfortably live in her shadow.

My other book available on Amazon is Doctor-Level Nutrition and carries information that changes the focus from health care to health. If it’s ever used as it should be, America can become 50% healthier within 18 months. That saves us $½ Trillion yearly of the $3 Trillion we currently spend annually on health care.

You can find me here – waiting.