Anon.

A group of stay-at-home Dads has decided to tell the truth.

Shortly after the birth of his first son in 2013, Hugh Stacey wanted to see what other men in his position – taking on the childcare because his wife earned a lot more than him – were doing. He found a forum hidden deep within Mumsnet and started to connect.

“I’d never done anything like that before,” says Stacey. “But I had met literally one other man who was a stay-at-home Dad like me, and I needed to find others to make sure that I wasn’t crazy.”

He found them, and a group of ten started making contacts and meeting online in a private forum where they could discuss the more delicate parts of being a primary male carer without the world being able to see it.

“There’s a lot that men don’t like talking about anyway,” comments Simon Smith, another father involved. “So being able to chat away from prying eyes, as it were, was something important.”

But now they’ve decided to come clean.

“There were just so many good stories,” explains Stacey. “And they were all funny, and a lot were shocking, and we just kept saying ‘we should write a book about this.’ So we did!”

The result is MEMOIRS OF A MAN, published this month, which is a humorous combinations of all the things that these Dads have been through.

“Staying at home with kids isn’t the most exciting thing to do,” Stacey goes on. “But when you put the best bits together it actually makes something pretty incredible.”

‘Incredible’ includes walking into a swimming pool’s family changing room that’s full of naked mothers, attending very unhelpful support groups, the blinding rage involved in pushing a stroller around a city, and narrating your day as if you’re living in a Western, albeit one featuring a baby.

The group did all their own writing and editing, and are now self-publishing and undertaking their own publicity.

“I think it’s pretty controversial so I’m sure no traditional publishers would take it anyway,” says Smith. “We don’t shy away from talking about anything, whether that’s how angry you can get doing this, how your ex-work colleagues treat you, the boredom, or sex – with your wife or someone else.”

“You don’t stop being a man just because you’re looking after kids,” says Stacey. “Just like mothers don’t stop being women. Men just have a different reaction to it, and while there’s plenty written from a stay-at-home Mum’s perspective there’s very little from a Dad’s.”

The writers of MEMOIRS OF A MAN hope to redress the balance, and believe they have written a book that should appeal to Dads, potential Dads, and also women who want to know what goes on in a man’s mind when he’s looking after the baby.

And are they worried about what their partners might think when they read the book?

“I’ve told my wife I only wrote the non-controversial bits,” Smith laughs. “I’m not sure she believes me.”

“That’s why Dads should do things in groups,” adds Stacey. “You can always blame your bad behavior on the other guys.”