Meda Killgore

Who am I? How do I find me?

Since you asked, let me attempt to answer. I see myself as a caring, compassionate person who would like to share some of the ideas and strategies that I have learned through my work as a counselor. I have a broad background of experiences, having lived many roles in my 50+ years. I have been a wife, mom, daughter, friend, student, teacher, employee, supervisor, business owner and counselor. I have peddled hot apple pies at McDonalds, wrestled with balancing nickels on financial statements, been the Program Director of a Battered Women's program, the Training Director of a bank holding company and even an Acting Assistant Professor of Sociology at the local university.

My current work as a counselor is my absolute favorite! I love to help people recognize that they do have the power to change their circumstances or emotional state. My 600 hours of intense training in hypnotherapy plus my 16+ years of working with dreams has given me a healthy respect of the unconscious and its power to manifest everything from chaos to bliss in our lives.

This book was not an easy task. The story of how it came to be is quite interesting. It began with some of my clients urging me to write a book. I basically ignored those comments for about a year. Then one day, one person, in the midst of extreme personal pain, paused to sit up straight, look me in the eye and say "Ms. Meda, you need to write a book." There was something very powerful in that moment and in those words. I could no longer ignore the messages I had been getting.

And so I did begin to write and stopped many times due to frustration. In my book I share the story of a dream I had as soon as I decided to write. Here's the dream and the story directly from my book:

Dream: I am walking with thousands of people down a crowded sidewalk. Everyone is wearing business suits and walking in the same direction. I veer off to the right and find myself on a pathway with only a few others. The path is wide and goes through the woods. I'm not afraid, but relaxed and content. A teenage girl runs up to me and gives me a hug and a kiss.

My initial thoughts about this dream were that it was about my profession (clue:business suits). The dream seemed to be saying that my current profession was not necessarily my only path. A different path presents itself. A teenage aspect of me was excited to see me on this path. I knew that I had made the decision to write the book and saw the dream as encouragement from my inner self to do it. I was intrigued by the teenager who showed up to greet me. I thought about writing as a teenager and immediately made the association. In fact, in the summer between my junior and senior years in high school, I enrolled in an introductory English course at the local university. I loved to read. I loved my English classes. I was excited about having a chance to take a

college-level class. The first assignment was to write a paper on the topic of our choice. I couldn't wait to write it. As soon as I got home, I started writing. I wrote, wrote, and rewrote until I was sure I had written a masterpiece in philosophy, which I entitled "Why?" I proudly turned in my paper,knowing that it was really good. I was certain my writing would impress this college instructor. When I saw the teacher come into the class with our papers in hand, I noticed mine was on top. I noticed lots of red marks, which did not serve to dampen my enthusiasm. In fact, I was absolutely certain that those red marks were words of praise! My world fell apart when the professor held up my paper to the class with a big red "D" on it. The memory of that big red "D" is imprinted in my mind. The words she said are not so clear but they went something like this: "Somebody had the nerve to title their paper "Why?" My memory is blank after that, other than shrinking into my front row seat as she handed me my paper. The bottom line is that, as a teenager, I decided then and there, I could not and would not write. No more thoughts about majoring in Journalism or being an English teacher! And so, I fundamentally abandoned that aspect of myself--which had been very real up until that moment.

My dream, therefore, was showing me that, in my choice to write, I was reuniting with this aspect of me, which had gotten stalled or been fragmented at that age. In a sense, one of my missing puzzle pieces had been found. Although the road to this book had been strewn with delays and frustrations,

I have never forgotten that I must write.

So what I did not share in the book were the dreams that I had anytime I would stop writing. There were many times that I would get discouraged and stop. When that happened I would start having dreams of my right (write) hand (or shoulder, or thumb, etc) being broken and needing surgery. After one particularly long pause in the writing (several months), I had asked for a dream to clarify whether or not I should continue writing. That night I had a dream that was made up of only words that were repeated over and over until I woke up. The words were "The young girl must write!" (I think "young girl" was referring to that teenage aspect I mentioned earlier). And what was really amazing was when I finally picked up the pen, I had another dream in which the words from a song were repeated over and over again. Those words were "And we got High Hopes" (from the song by Frank Sinatra).

Bottom line: The book took three years to write and it's writing was initiated by my clients and encourage by my dreams!

Thank you for considering this book. It is from my heart with hopes it will make someone's life easier and give ideas for achieving happiness and peace!