Hank Kirton

Hank Kirton fell down a cobweb well. He's like a snake jaw now. Open wide. He can swallow a ferret. He once found an index finger in his vomit. Relax, it was his. He is a prime example of pure unhindered Massachusetts monkeyspunk. The school committee wore only gloves. He mourns without dancing. Five books sit in dunes of dust, groaning in code, blasted by darkness. A bucket of love and a mound of dead skin cells. He has an intestinal polyp named Dave. Just don't leave him alone with Stanley again.

"I went to high school with a Yeti. He was huge and furry and grunted a lot. He had no name so we started calling him "Yeti Spaghetti." I feel kind of bad about it now. I wonder what happened to him. He was good at math," said Joe, eating another LSD sugarcube.