C. Eldon Taylor

C. Eldon Taylor is a psychotherapist, licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-Virginia), Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC-Florida), and National Certified Counselor. None of which was much help when it became my turn to experience the hellfires of grief and dark nights of the soul after the disembodiment of my beloved Carol Susan on October 31, 2011.

On November 22, 2011, I was inspired to start keeping a journal. I write in the journal every day usually late at night. In October 2012, I was inspired to condense my experiences recorded in the journals into free form poems.

Hellfires of Grief: Love Poems was published in May 2013. Hellfires I (as I refer to the book) consists of 222 poems providing an intimate description of the hellfires of grief and black nights of the soul I experienced during the first eighteen months of my bereavement. The poems were written to translate my tears of grief into words as part of my healing journey. The poems were published to share my experience and provide a crude map and healing energy for others experiencing their own versions of the hellfires of grief.

Golden Dreams: Companion to Hellfires of Grief: Love Poems was published in November 2013. Golden Dreams I is a collection of 111 poems describing the golden dreams shared with my disembodied beloved during the first eighteen months of my bereavement. Golden Dreams I provides my dreamtime experiences as a counterpoint to my daytime experiences described in Hellfires I. The 111 poems in Golden Dreams I are condensed from dream journals starting with the first golden dream of January 5, 2013 and continuing until the 111th golden dream of October 9, 2013. Not all of the dreams are golden as some do not include my disembodied beloved's beautiful radiant golden aura. The overall energy of Golden Dreams I is golden providing a healing counterpart to the intense darkness of Hellfires I. The poems of Hellfires I are lit by the black fires of the hell of loss and grief, while Golden Dreams I is illuminated by the celestial golden light of love. Shared golden dreams starts the process of healing and provides a glimpse into the realm of spirit. Shared golden dreams spill into waking time slowly transforming the grief dragon described in Hellfires I. Golden dreams have provided the most powerful healing experience of my bereavement. Carol Susan converted Charles Eldon into Carlos Eldon soon after we met saying it fits better so I used the name Carol Susan gave me for sharing our golden dreams. As we shared many of the dreams in Golden Dreams I it seems natural for Carol Susan to coauthor the collection of dreams. Carol Susan is coauthor, muse, and so much more.

Taken together, Hellfires I and Golden Dreams I are a total of 333 free form poems, covering the first eighteen months after the disembodiment of my soulmate. The two books provide an unusual form of grief memoir, nearly written in real time, of the first year and one half of my bereavement.

Hellfires of Grief II: More Love Poems was published in November 2014. Hellfires II is a collection of 222 poems written during the second eighteen months of my bereavement. Together Hellfires I and Hellfires II cover the first three years of my experiences of loss, grief, despair, and the slow transformation from seeing only with eyes of loss to also seeing with eyes of love. The combined 444 poems (750 pages) summarize my waking experience.

111 Things That Help Grieving: Alchemy of the Heart: Love Loss Grief Transformation Eternal Love, published in May 2016, is a self-help grief and bereavement book that distills and condenses the raw materials of my journals and poems into 111 things that have helped me in my grieving and bereavement. 111 Things That Help Grieving offers suggestions to honor the disembodied (usually called "the dead") and to honor the embodied (usually called "the living"). A major focus is restoration of balance between loss and love so love continues to flow between the two souls. 111 Things That Help Grieving is organized into five sections. In section one, the experience of grief, describes licking the woundedness of loss with words, concepts, and images. Section two encourages establishing sacred space to conduct ceremonies and other actions. Section three focuses on healing as a lifelong process described in energy terms. Section four recommends eighteen books and provides brief quotations to enable sampling the book's voice. Section five, alchemy of the heart, uses the images, language, and concepts of alchemy to describe the hellfires of grief and black nights of the soul, as the black lead of grief, slowly and with great effort, transforms to reveal the golden aura of eternal love.

Golden Dreams II is currently in process. The delay is in part due to only including golden dreams, as well as my well developed dream forgetting skills. When completed, perhaps later in 2016, Golden Dreams II will begin with dreams from October 2013 and present 111 golden dreams as free form poems. Together Golden Dreams I and Golden Dreams II will summarize my nighttime dreaming experiences for the first five years of bereavement in 222 dream poems. The healing power of golden dreams cannot be described with words. When I am tempted to complain about the Goddess of Dreams not assisting me in remembering more golden dreams, I need only to read from the collection of golden dreams to experience their healing energy and renew my appropriation and gratitude for remembering so many visits to the spirit realm.

In addition to Golden Dreams II, Heartfires of Love is another work in process and will consist of an additional 222 poems which start at the end of the third year of bereavement and continue until the 222nd poem has been completed. Currently, May 2016, at about twenty-five percent completed, Heartfires of Love will be completed within the next several years.