Betsy McMillan

It’s the thought that counts…

How often have we heard that platitude? It’s a statement meant to placate someone on the receiving end of an effort gone wrong or a well-meant gift that strikes a bad chord. “Don’t worry about it. He meant well. Just remember, it’s the thought that counts.” The funny thing is, it’s true. It IS the thought that counts…literally.

The “gift of thought” is the secret I discovered when faced with the imminent passing of a favorite cousin, back in 1989. Plagued by the need to do something to help, but unable to find any way to do so, I gave my cousin the gift of thought. When someone is terminally ill, what exactly do they need? Certainly not clothes that will go unworn, or gadgets that will never be used, or food they are unable to swallow or digest. What does a person with a terminal illness think about when they know their time is limited?

If you knew you had a month to live and you were in a deteriorated physical state, wouldn’t you be thinking about things you'd done wrong, things you had not finished, or things you should have done?

So how does the “gift of thought” weigh in? I came to the conclusion that the best “help” I could give my cousin was something else to think about: Something funny, or thought provoking, or inspirational; Something other than his imminent demise or his regrets over things left unfinished. But that help had to be continuous, and anonymous, to give him the maximum benefit of being on the receiving end of the gift.

I knew it had worked when the "gift" was a heavy topic of conversation at the calling hours, the subject of a portion of the eulogy, and when one of the "thoughts" was printed on the leaflets passed out at the funeral.

And so began the journey of providing the “gift of thought” to those in need for 25 years.

“A Mystery in the Mailbox” is meant to inspire others to give the “gift of thought” to someone they know who might need it. That person could have a terminal illness, some sort of chronic condition, or just be enduring a long-term recovery. Receiving the “gift of thought” might be just the thing they need to boost their spirits and give them something to look forward to…something to keep them going.

Does it really work? You don’t have to wonder. The evidence of how it works and how it helps is all in the book, as well as instructions for doing it yourself.

May you be inspired!

Betsy McMillan is a native of Cleveland, Ohio who moved with her parents and siblings to Ashtabula County when her father fulfilled his dream of being a landowner. Even though she developed a love of reading and writing early on, she followed a college path into medical technology. Eventually she found her way back into writing via science and medicine and has spent more than 20 years writing and editing for a pharmaceutical CRO. Her first book, "Virtual Strangers" was published in 1998, followed by "The Commoner's Guide to Dog Breeding" in 2000, "Rebirth of the Oracle - Tarot for the Modern World" in 2005 and Fractured Anecdotes 1 in 2010.