Mike Smith

Born in 1979. Grew up in Arizona. Swam in a pool there, played with neighbor kids. Age seven: moved to Austria. Walked to a private school through vineyards. Watched the sun rise every morning. Age eleven: moved to Colorado. Lived in a cabin. Stayed home from school because of snow, often. Lived in a treehouse wired with Nintendo. Age twelve: moved to New Mexico. Became a huge nerd. Got beat up constantly between age twelve and age seventeen. Got in a high speed car chase just for fun. Sent away by my parents. Got my GED, and went to college in Arizona. Streaked a homecoming football game; became a hero. Moved to Alaska to try commercial fishing after reading about it in a dentist office magazine. Lived there for a year and a half as a depressed stoner in a series of cabins. Moved outdoors into a tent. Hitchiked around Alaska and Canada with a hippy girlfriend. Hitchhiked down. Moved to Utah. Worked. Saved up money. Spent seven months canoeing the entire shoreline of Lake Powell in Utah and Arizona--because I wanted to. Moved to Boston to be with a suicidal girl. Founded a nonprofit. Walked from Key West, Florida to Cape Gaspe, Quebec, Canada, to raise money for charity with six others. Moved back to New Mexico. Moved out to the Arizona desert to be a hermit. Apache County. Lived in a trailer with a cat and a windmill and no neighbors for miles. No electricity either. Got married to a cool girl. Moved back to New Mexico. Moved down to Las Cruces. Moved to Utah. Moved to New Mexico. Moved to Utah. Moved to New Mexico. Worked on movies. Sold a screenplay. Had a daughter. Wrote a book. Went camping. Went camping. Went camping.

I'm going camping.