This text: 'Wonderful Weddings & Afterward Wonders' is a great book which offers insight into the world of wedding celebrations. It is not only insightful for engaged couples and their supporting families but also for other wedding celebrants as a guide. As a textbook this volume can be beneficial as a practical guide in the Course of Pastoral Theology in Bible colleges/seminaries. The information is not only insightful but also educational, inspirational and humorous. It is well worth the money, time and energy needed to procure this volume.
WONDERFUL WEDDINGS & AFTERWARD WONDERS
(Insight For Getting It Right)By Lorne K. FreakeAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 Dr. Lorne K. Freake (Ph.D.)
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4772-6123-1Contents
PREFACE.........................................................xiFOREWORD........................................................xiiiACKNOWLEDGEMENT.................................................xvPROLOGUE........................................................xviiDEDICATION......................................................xixINTRODUCTION....................................................1THE WEDDING REHEARSAL...........................................5WONDERFUL WEDDING CELEBRATIONS..................................9WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 1.....................................11The Biker's Wedding.............................................11WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 2.....................................13Everyone Is Here ..., Except The Minister!......................13WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 3.....................................16One Couple, One Marriage, Three Ceremonies......................16WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 4.....................................19Wedding In Uniform..............................................19WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 5.....................................21One Couple-Two Wedding Celebrants...............................21WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 6.....................................25Getting Together On The Green...................................25WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 7.....................................28February The 14th, One Stormy Night.............................28WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 8.....................................30The Tri-Lingual Wedding.........................................30WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 9.....................................34Making It Official (Again) After 25 Years.......................34WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 10....................................36The Non-Religious Ceremony......................................36WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 11....................................39Second Time Around ... To The Same Man..........................39WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 12....................................42The Short Wedding...............................................42WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 13....................................44The Couple ... With Customized Vows.............................44WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 14....................................47The Outside/Inside/Outside Wedding..............................47WONDERFUL FEATURES..............................................49For Wedding Celebrations........................................49WONDERFUL MATERIAL..............................................54On Marriage From The Bible......................................54AFTERWARD WONDERS...............................................61WHAT?...........................................................63WHEN?...........................................................65WHERE?..........................................................67HOW?............................................................69WHY?............................................................71WONDERFUL QUESTIONS FOR A WEDDING CELEBRANT.....................75CONCLUSION......................................................87AFTERWORD.......................................................89EPILOGUE........................................................91BIBLIOGRAPHY....................................................93COLLECTIONS/ARTICLES............................................97WEB PAGES/LINKS.................................................99ABOUT THE AUTHOR................................................101ANNEX I.........................................................103ANNEX II........................................................105ANNEX III.......................................................107ANNEX IV........................................................109ANNEX V.........................................................113NOTES...........................................................116
Chapter One
THE WEDDING REHEARSAL
If at all possible, every wedding celebration needs to have a rehearsal. Having it the day (evening) before the wedding is ideal but if not possible, at least in the morning of the actual wedding day. Having a wedding rehearsal accomplishes several different purposes such as: it provides a great opportunity for everyone in the wedding party to know what is expected of them during the actual wedding celebration.
It gives the wedding celebrant a great opportunity to personally get to know all the people in the wedding party and hopefully a greater possibility of being able to remember their names! A wedding rehearsal helps tremendously in the actual logistics of the wedding ceremony such as who stands where, when should they start walking, etc. It provides opportunity for each to know their cues and when to respond to them.
If a religious wedding, I usually begin the rehearsal with prayer. Furthermore, I explain to the wedding party and relatives that we will go through the routine at least twice until we are all generally comfortable. While I even rehearse the section of the vows with the couple, I do not read all of it to them at the rehearsal. I let them know what the general routine is, but I do not go through the actual vows, in order for it to be extra special to both them and their families on the actual wedding day.
I explain to them that I know that there will be many different ideas which they will want to share and ultimately to see included in the wedding ceremony but as the wedding celebrant, I tell them that I hear only ONE voice and that is the voice of the bride ...
To conclude the wedding rehearsal I generally give the wedding couple two simple rules to keep in mind:
(One) While we have practiced the ceremony in a certain way, if during the wedding, someone does something different than was practiced, just 'go with the flow', just improvise, as no one will notice anyway ...
(Two) While they maybe be excited and/or nervous and want to celebrate, I passively (jokingly) tell them to keep all the celebrations until AFTER the wedding ceremony, especially if they celebrate with the use of alcohol. Furthermore, I explain if either one of them or either one of the witnesses show up for the ceremony under the influence of alcohol, there will NOT be a wedding ceremony! So far, I have never had any grief concerning this, thank God.
Now we will move into sharing with you four-teen stories of different wedding celebrations which I have been involved with. I'll begin with a little background information first, which will help you know where we are going with this. I trust that you will be blessed by what you read.
Chapter Two
WONDERFUL WEDDING CELEBRATIONS
In this section of the book, I am going to give you an inside look of what modern day couples go through in order to have a wonderful wedding celebration. There is no official guide book in order to tell people how a particular wedding should be conducted. Most people go by what they have witnessed firsthand at other people's weddings or what they have heard from their friends who have seen it elsewhere.
On occasion, there is some inspiration for wedding planning that comes from reports on television or magazine articles, where journalists have written about the wedding ceremony of an actor/actress or someone else who has been in the limelight recently. With the easy access to the internet in modern times, there are now more and more opportunities to get creative ideas to include in the wedding ceremony.
In this book are examples of official wedding ceremonies with which I have been involved. What I have included here of course is a limited selection of 'Wonderful Wedding Celebrations' as the book title implies. Hopefully this information will also be insightful as the sub-title also indicates.
Unfortunately, I have also officiated at some wedding ceremonies which were less than wonderful, due to the lack of planning and preparation on behalf of the wedding couple ... Needless to say, none of these wedding stories were added to my list and subsequently, they are not discussed in this book.
However, if your wedding story is not included here, please do not assume that it is because of that reason! That fact of the matter is, in almost thirty years of performing wedding ceremonies, I have only been able to select just a few of these stories to share with you.
Following are four-teen absolutely 'wonderful wedding stories'. Feel free to use any or all of the ideas that you see written here.
Chapter Three
WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 1
THE BIKER'S WEDDING
Believe it or not but a few years ago, I used to serve as a prison chaplain. Although bald, I used to have a beard, mustache and a pony tail. I also used to drive a motorcycle! Back then I even conducted a Biker's Bible Study and was part of a Christian Bikers Association. Needless to say, before too long, I was also asked to officiate at a wedding for a couple of these bikers who fell in love. I was very glad to accommodate them by officiating at their wedding celebration.
Besides close family members of both the bride and the groom, all of the invited guests were bikers who like me showed up in leather vests, chaps, boots and gloves, well you know the routine. I remember wearing the clergy collar but the rest of my wedding garb, like the bride's and groom's wedding clothes was black leather.
We showed up at the local marina on bikes and parked them on the dock, then we boarded a large pontoon boat and motored up the Saint John River for a little while. The captain then turned off the motor and there under the canopy of a party boat, with God's blessing, we turned it all into 'sacred space' for a few solemn moments under the bright sunny sky.
The wedding couple themselves were very creative and the wedding went exactly as was planned, it was a very interesting and wonderful wedding. To date, I have conducted quite a few outside weddings but note that this was one of the outside weddings which I enjoyed the most because it was on the water. As a kid, I was raised on the East coast in a town on the Atlantic Ocean. The experience on the water that day was very meaningful to me, as it was to the wedding party as well but for other reasons ... It actually convinced me to buy my own pontoon (party) boat which I eventually did!
After the ceremony was over, we were all treated to an excellent BBQ right there on the boat as the boat owner was not only a good captain but also a great cook. We finished the evening off by taking a little excursion up and down the beautiful Saint John River. One can easily understand why this Wonderful Wedding Story has made the list for this book. It was absolutely fantastic!
Chapter Four
WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 2
EVERYONE IS HERE ..., EXCEPT THE MINISTER!
During this particular time in history, I was the pastor of a local church in a small town in rural North West New Brunswick. I was also part of the local Ministerial Association where there was a great sense of camaraderie among the ministers. It was so much so, that the churches in the area would put announcements from the other churches in their church bulletins. Without a doubt, this was a great model for other ministerial associations throughout the country.
There was also the same sense of ecumenical spirit among the pastors when it came to pastoral visitation at the local hospital. For example when I went to the hospital to visit one of my parishioners, I knew that there would not be a problem to drop in on someone else's parishioner especially if the minister was away on vacation. The same was true if one of the ministers was visiting a parishioner at the regional hospital outside of town a few kilometers away.
On a particular occasion a local minister was scheduled to perform a wedding ceremony, as wedding ceremonies are scheduled months in advance. The wedding rehearsal was to be done on Friday night and the wedding was scheduled for the next day on Saturday. However, unfortunately on Friday morning, the minister was hospitalized ... It was summer time and limited availability of other ministers within his denomination. Needless to say, panic had set in, in a major way.
As you can tell, as there is stress for the wedding couple, there is also lots of opportunity for stress for wedding celebrants, especially when things go so terribly wrong. To help absorb the celebrant's stress, his wife called me and casually asked what were my plans for that particular Friday evening and if I was busy the next day ...
Luckily there was nothing on my schedule so I told her that I didn't have any thing on my agenda. She was very relieved, then she proceeded to 'lower the boom' by explaining to me the dilemma that her husband was in at the hospital but seemingly worst than that was the fact that he had a wedding celebration scheduled and was absolutely NOT able to do it! She then asked me if I could jump in, in his place and make it all happen ... Before I had a chance to absorb it all and come up with six reasons why I couldn't, shouldn't or wouldn't be able to do it, I instantaneously said, "I would be glad to help out."
The parson's wife was relieved as was her dear husband lying in bed at the regional hospital. I immediately got in contact with the couple in order to help relieve them of their anxiety and then I showed up to pick up the paper work. On the same evening I did the rehearsal and the next day, the wedding. With the help of God's grace (as usual), I managed to pull it off without missing a beat. The wedding party was very glad, in spite of the last minute change of wedding celebrant. As usual, it all worked out anyway!
I found out afterwards that my colleague was treated for his physical ailment and was back on the mend, before too long. Needless to say: we were all very thankful. Praise God.
Chapter Five
WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 3
ONE COUPLE, ONE MARRIAGE, - THREE CEREMONIES
During this time, I was the minister at a local three point pastoral charge in North West New Brunswick. There had been a couple who had attended the church several years prior, who had since moved away. They had many friends in the parish and were actually distantly related to some of them plus to a few others in the area who did not attend the local church.
They were just recently legally married in London, England a couple of weeks prior but wanted to reaffirm their vows in the local parish in front of their relatives and friends. I am not exactly sure but I believe either the man or the woman was from South Africa originally and the other one was originally from London.
They contacted me and requested my assistance as wedding celebrant but noted that there would not be any legal papers required. Because the event was going to be a public event and because the public would not necessarily see the recently obtained 'marriage certificate' from England, I requested to see the original documents and then I happily agreed to perform the wedding ceremony re-enactment.
I remember it was a terribly cold and windy day on the outside but a very warm and pleasant ambiance on the inside. The couple was wearing their wedding garments, the church was decorated as it should be and the music was heavenly, everything was perfect.
Unlike the regular traditional weddings vows that a wedding celebrant asks like: "will you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife ...", I asked the groom this question: "Do you affirm that you have taken this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife ...?" Of course, I did the same with the woman for her husband.
It was a beautiful re-enactment of a legitimate wedding celebration that had taken place on another continent, days earlier. The celebrations concluded with a time of food and fellowship in the church basement. The family and friends were honored to have had the privilege of witnessing and participating in the joyous wedding celebrations. The newly weds were thankful that I was able to facilitate the re-enactment of the wedding ceremony. They told me that the following week they were going to be in South Africa where one of them was originally from and they were planning to do it all over again there on the African continent. Hence, one couple, one marriage but three wedding ceremonies!
Chapter Six
WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 4
WEDDING IN UNIFORM
This wedding story reminds me somewhat of a charming prince (Prince Charming), who found and married a princess ... Since I serve as a police and fire dept. chaplain, I have had the honor of performing several wedding ceremonies for emergency services personnel. As uniformed professionals, many have opted to be married in their uniforms. Here I want to briefly tell you about one of these wedding celebrations.
It was a wedding which included not one but two members of the RCMP. He was dressed in his official dress uniform which is the beautiful red surge and brown police boots. She, although as member as well, was wearing her beautiful white wedding gown. The wedding ceremony was 'official' as it could be, as there were members of the wedding party who were also members of the RCMP and were also attired in the red surges.
As the RCMP chaplain (Padré) for "J" Division, for both districts 10 & 7, I too wore my uniform which is a navy blue surge with brass buttons. I wore my clergy collar (of course) but also the bright white Stole with the RCMP crest on each end of it.
While I am bilingual, as are most RCMP Members, I performed the wedding ceremony in English. However, I begin my declaration at the end of the ceremony with a couple of words in French by stating" Mesdames et Messieurs/Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: Constables ...
The wedding ceremony was held outside at the beautiful world class Algonquin Golf Course which is located at Ste.-Andrews-by-the-Sea. The weather was extremely good, a beautiful warm day with no wind. As you can imagine, it was a beautiful outside wedding there on the green grass. Wedding pictures were not only taken there but also on the beach with the ocean in the background.
Without a doubt this wedding ceremony was very beautiful and it is not too difficult to understand how this story has 'easily' made it into the book on "Wonderful Weddings and Afterward Wonders!"
CH7[ WONDERFUL WEDDING STORY # 5
ONE COUPLE-TWO WEDDING CELEBRANTS
This is story where I get to tell you a little more detail because in this story, I am NOT the guy standing up in the front in the role as the wedding celebrant. I am actually the groom in this particular 'wonderful wedding' story. Since this is my personal story, I'm going to 'let my hair down' a little here, although that in itself will be difficult to do because I am bald! I wasn't bald back then though when I stood there with my beautiful bride. Please allow me to tell you a few interesting details as well, concerning the events prior to going to the church for the typical religious wedding ceremony.
The wedding rehearsal was held the night before and everything went as planned. Since my uncle was also a minister and would be attending the wedding anyway, we thought that it would be nice if we could somehow include him in the wedding ceremony. Our pastor agreed and asked my uncle if he would ask me my vows while the local pastor would ask my bride her vows. It was different for sure but unique. We were all blessed to have my uncle Pearce included in the ceremony. His wife, my aunt Sylvia (my father's sister) was also involved in the wedding because she was the person who made the wedding cake. It was a 'first class' cake in both style and taste!
It is in my other book: Parish Ministry Stories (Memoirs of a Minister) also by Author House Publications Inc. which I dedicated to the memory of my above mentioned aunt and uncle. They faithfully served the Lord in parish ministry for more than forty years!
Getting back to my story, the wedding ceremony was scheduled to take place on June 28th, 1980 at 6h00 p.m. I opted to be driven to the church by my 'Best Man' instead of by someone else. In hindsight, going to the church with my uncle Pearce would have been the best option because as a minister, he was used to going to church on time ...
I was dressed in my white tuxedo with a long tail, fancy shirt, bow tie, cuff links, etc. and anxiously awaiting for my buddy, my (Best Man) to come and pick me up to bring me to the church for the wedding (my wedding). All of my family had already left to go to the church. Undoubtedly all the bride's family were also at the church as well and at 5h55 p.m. my ride still had not showed up. Needless to say, I was in 'panic mode' as were my siblings too without a doubt. My two brothers and my two sisters were also standing with me as members of the bridal party and they were already at the church waiting for me.
(Continues...) ]CH7
Excerpted from WONDERFUL WEDDINGS & AFTERWARD WONDERSby Lorne K. Freake Copyright © 2012 by Dr. Lorne K. Freake (Ph.D.). Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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