This Crazy Thing Called Life is a book that makes witty and satirical comments about the journey we're all on, the journey we call life. Through his observations of human nature, and the human condition the author has formed his own unique perspective and has made comments, regarding those matters that most effects our lives, focusing on love, marriage, money, politics, education, religion, and life in general. At the same time he continually makes the point that we are all responsible for our own lives and that we can make it what ever we want. With comments, quotes, paraphrases, as well as pictures, the writer drives home his observations much in the style of Andy Rooney, and Art Buchwald. "This CrazyThing Called Life" entertains with humorous comments and pictures, but all the while it provokes thought about a multitude of subjects that we all experience on the roller coaster ride of life.

LIFE's REFLECTIONS, QUESTIONS & OBSERVATIONS

QUOTATIONS AND PARAPHRASESBy BRIAN D. DAVIS

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Brian D. Davis
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-2398-0

Contents

Life.............................................1-20That Crazy Thing Called Love.....................21-32More of Life.....................................33-47God and Religion.................................48-54Life Goes On.....................................55-74Lawyers and Politians............................75-84Money Matters....................................85-91The Book of Y....................................92-97Such is Life.....................................98-117Conclusion.......................................I-II

Chapter One

LIFE

Life is like a stage play and your playing the lead part, its up to you to play it well because there won't be any repeats or stunt doubles.

You never want to become a spectator in your own life.

One of the greatest moments in your life is accomplishing something that everyone else said you couldn't do.

Happiness is like a kiss, its meant to be shared, and the longer the better.

A smart man understands that he will never understand a woman and excepts that fact as a universal law.

The start of a new day is to start anew, make the most of it, be the hero of your own life. You can't change the past, but you can certainly create the future.

The first important thing in a person's life is deciding what you want out of life.

Its your attitude that makes you come alive, change your attitude and you'll change your life.

Humans are the only animal on the face of the earth that insist on doing things that are completely contrary to their own well being.

Your never to old to learn, which means that its never to late to aspire to be great.

There is a difference between talk and conversation. One requires intelligence and education and the other doesn't. A three year old can talk but it can't carry on a conversation.

Life is like the traditional marriage vow. Its for you to have and to hold, for richer or poor, in sickness or in health, until death do you part.

To inspire someone can inspire yourself.

Its easy to be lazy, that's why it doesn't pay very well.

Responsibility can be a good teacher.

Always do what is right and you'll never regret it.

There is a certain amount of risk in everything that we do, so risk should never be used as an excuse for not doing something.

There are few things in life that cheer the heart like the laughter of a child.

Humanity's best hope lies in its children, but somehow it all gets lost when we grow up.

Children playing on a playground is my idea of an ideal world.

Its easy to be happy if your expectations are realistic.

The trouble with adults is they forget how simple things brought them so much pleasure. Swings, monkey-bars, and a teeter-toter and life was good.

Responsibility is what transforms our lives from that of a child to that of an adult.

Opportunity doesn't knock, it taps lightly, you have to listen for it.

We're all pack-rats at heart, that's why there's the home shopping network.

Making an honest mistake isn't dumb, its human. Making it more than once is dumb.

The mark of a good actor is to look like they're not acting.

It is better to learn from the mistakes of others than to have to learn from your own.

Simple doesn't mean easy.

Time is an irreplaceable resource not to be wasted on small things of no importance.

Studies have proven that people with tattoos have a low mentality. So in some sense tattoos act as a warning sign letting you know whose dumb and who isn't. Avoid the tattoo people.

I have bad news for all of the older women out there with tattoos. They don't make you better looking, they don't make you look younger, nor do they make you sexy. They just make you look like an old lady with a tattoo who would have been better off spending the money on make-up, clothes, and a new hair do.

Have you ever noticed that Victoria Secret models have no tattoos? Its hard to improve upon perfection. I rest my case.

For the men, turn your hat around, you couldn't possibly be as stupid as you look.

When I see a woman with a man that has his hat on backwards I always think that she's as dumb as he is. If she wasn't, she would tell him to turn his hat around and look like he has some sense.

So why do people get tattoos and wear their hats backwards? The answer is easy, one monkey did it so the other monkeys did it. Monkey see, monkey do. The world is full of monkeys who never had an original thought in their life. A large portion of the populace are like herd animals, they just follow the ass in front of them with no individual thought or rationality.

For any person their real beauty is within themselves, they need only to cultivate it.

Beauty is forever fading. Intelligence, grace, and charm are for ever.

A nude sexy woman is a work of art, where a man is purely utilitarian.

Have you ever heard of Sophia Augusta Fredericka the Great? No? Sure you have, she called herself Catherine.

I think that the reason I like children more than adults is because of their simplicity. No body like things that are complicated.

Its amazing to think that we're all standing on a planet that revolves on its axis at a 1000 miles an hour, while it travels around the sun at a breakneck speed of 67,062 miles an hour. In the same instant the whole solar system is moving through the galaxy at 800,000 kilometers an hour, which is spinning in the universe that is expanding at the speed of light at 670,000,000 miles an hour, and not so much as a single hair gets blown out of place. God is in the details.

I was recently watching an ant colony clean up a sucker that a child had dropped on the sidewalk. As I watched the ants work, moving in their long line across the sidewalk, I thought how much they're like humans. Then I remembered that ants have no intelligence. Before you feel so superior remember this, where there is no intelligence, there's no stupidity.

Life is a competition between us and nature and in the end we know that nature is going to win.

We can find a little of ourselves in Logan Mountstuart.

There is a simplicity in children that we all should try to imitate.

Some times the best way to express one's self in a conversation is to remain silent.

Taking a nap never hurt anyone.

Life isn't fair, the only way to make it even close is through your own actions.

Be fearless in your life.

The best way to predict your future is to create it.

Peer pressure has lead to the ruin of many a person. The smartest people keep their own counsel.

A real friend likes you despite of all your faults.

Who needs a therapist when you have a friend.

No problem has ever been solved by stupidity or ignorance.

Study to acquire knowledge and observe to gain wisdom.

Even smart people have something to learn.

Never has ignorance been better than knowledge.

I have decided that a lot of television programs, like cigarettes, should have a warning label, "The following program may cause severe brain damage."

There is nothing rational about emotions. When emotions rule, they always rule unwisely.

Physically the head is above the heart, and so it should be when making a decision, the head should rule the heart.

Education is the key that unlocks the door to opportunity.

Education is like rich soil that promotes personal growth.

Haste will lead to oversight, which leads to failure. Haste governed by restraint is always best, so make haste slowly.

Humanity is able to progress technologically but not humanly because it is human to think wise but act foolishly. The problem is that we are to full of human nature.

Sorrow is one of life's inevitabilities. Like a storm it passes and the sunshine returns.

For good or bad, thoughts have a way of becoming a reality, so think positive thoughts.

A friendly smile costs you nothing, and its returns are priceless.

A real friend will tell you if you have something caught between your teeth.

When making a decision prudence should be consulted before taking some sort of action.

Your life should have a purpose. To be without a purpose is like being a ship without a rudder.

Hope sustains a lot of people despite all of life's efforts to discourage it.

History is a record of man's triumphs and his failures. It should be consulted to repeat the former and to avoid the latter.

Both the king and the commoner want peace at home.

Looking at the actions of a lot of people in this world one would think that the road to hell is an HOV lane.

Do things that you don't know how to do and you'll learn to do them.

Your future is shaped in your moments of decision.

You make your own luck.

Leading a good life is a struggle but its worth the effort.

Any reform that occurs in a person comes from within.

Regret can be the basis for something positive.

Character is selecting the harder right over the easier wrong.

Think before you act and you'll never have to apologize for your actions.

A crisis helps you discover what kind of person you really are.

As long as we're alive we're in peril, education is the only way to minimize that peril.

Character is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

What we desire defines who we are.

Diplomacy is the art of bending, stretching, and twisting the truth without turning it into a lie, hence the saying, "stretching the truth."

Being able to say something mean and nasty to someone without giving offense is known as diplomacy.

Eloquence is how you say something. Being rude is never eloquent.

An argument cannot happen if both parties aren't willing to participate.

Part of being cultured is knowing what it is.

To be cultured is to be rich.

Possessing culture is appreciating that which defines who we are, music, art, literature, architecture, government, and beauty. Without culture we are just another animal.

The difference between a pessimist and an optimist is that one views death as an end and the other as a new beginning.

Sometimes taking an action requires less strength than making the decision to act.

All great accomplishments are based upon a single decision.

Desire serves as a catalyst to a dream that brings about accomplishment.

Discipline serves as a governor to our desires.

Dealing with life's difficulties strengthens the mind and develops our character.

Discipline is self constraint that always serves a person well.

One can dig a ditch with as much dignity as one can write a sonnet. Our dignity does not lie with what we do but how well we do it.

Discontentment can lead to ruin, or to progress, the choice is ours to make.

All actions start with a dream. If you can dream it, you can do it.

The greatness of your accomplishment is directly related to the amount of effort you applied.

Education shows us how ignorant we really are.

If there is one thing that we all should be in control of, its ourselves.

How you present yourself is as important as what you say.

Education doesn't always come from books, life can be a tough teacher in its own right.

Life would be intolerable if it weren't for laughter.

Self development leads to a meaningful life.

Brevity can speak volumes.

A friend is someone that finds time in their busy schedule to be a friend.

A book that doesn't educate, entertain, or inspire is not worth reading.

The surest way of being a success is to never reach your level of incompetence. Its education that can insure that.

Real friendship is something that doesn't wear out no matter how old it is and how much you use it.

Avoid people that talk a lot but never say anything.

Life's experiences are to wisdom what a book is to education.

A friend is someone that excepts you as you are but helps you change for the better.

Ignorance or stupidity lies at the root of most problems.

The more you talk the less people will remember. Talk little and listen a lot.

An education cannot be obtained by accident, it must be deliberately sought.

Nature gives beauty, it also takes it away.

A true friend is someone that will tell you the truth about yourself.

Beauty is a valuable asset to a woman who has little or no sense.

It's the little things in life that can bring you the most amount of happiness.

The length of a person's life is not as important as its quality.

There are two types of people that your glad to see, some when you meet them, and some when they depart.

Sitting in a shopping mall watching people go by is like having a front row seat at a circus. I like the clowns best.

Living life is like going to school, every once in a while you get out for recess, but most of the time it's a long lesson in survival.

A day consists of 24 hours, 8 of which is spent sleeping, the other 16 is open to all sorts of possibilities, your imagination is the only limiting factor.

In life there are two things that you have no control over, your birth and your death, everything in between is completely up to you so make the most of it.

The best life is one that has been lived well.

A kind person never has to look for friends, friends will find them.

Living life is like playing dodge ball, you have to keep your eye on the ball, be quick and nimble, and watch out for head shots.

What makes life so difficult is that you have all those people out there running around and no one is in charge.

The best testament to the kind of person you are is reflected in the number of friends you have.

A hangover is testament to the fact that you can have too much of a good thing.

Having second thoughts is God's way of telling you to reconsider your decision.

Great minds think alike but fools will rarely differ.

The thing about taking advice from others is, you have to consider the source.

How can man be so ingenious at times and so stupid at others?

I wish it weren't so, but most people are driven by what will benefit themselves, with little regard for others.

If everyone would consider what effect their actions have on others lives life would be less precarious.

I like Immanuel Kant's universal law. Thinking for some people is a novel concept.

The quality of ones work is reflected in the end result.

The lack of attention to detail is what lead to Frankenstein's monster.

Your life can be a pleasure or a burden, its entirely up to you.

Your decisions have consequences and your life is reflective of that fact.

Desire, education, and optimism is a sturdy foundation to build any dream on.

A dream, a desire, or an idea, can become a reality if your willing to work for it.

To be successful you have to work hard, but you also have to work smart.

The only thing that can prevent a dream from coming true is the lack of volition.

Expand your mind and you'll expand your opportunities.

One thing about your life is that you can change it any time you want. Life is like play dough, you can mold it into what ever you desire.

Life is like running a race, you have to stay one step ahead of the idiots, because if you don't, they'll take you down when they stumble and fall.

Motivation is the fuel that drives accomplishment.

Some people climb mountains while others dive deep blue seas, others explore the endless expanses of the universe. As for me, I tread the ungainly terrain of humanity and try to understand why people are the way they are. They're a complete contradiction unto themselves, knowing in their heart what is best, but, at times, doing otherwise. An action that can only explained as being human.

Self doubt can be debilitative and prevent the ordinary from becoming extraordinary.

The first rule of ruling your life is learning to rule yourself.

Motivation isn't something that you can buy, or borrow, you can't see it, smell it, or taste it, it can only be felt.

Desire and motivation are two sides of the same coin, when invested wisely they can result in a rich and rewarding life.

A good rule to remember is when all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Motivation lies within oneself and will not stir until you decide to awaken it.

Frankenstein's monster is a direct result of using substandard material to accomplish an important project.

If we stop being human we might evolve into something better.

If you have lived your life to benefit others, you have lived a life worth living.

Happiness lies within oneself, your ability to overlook life's imperfections and focus on only the great perfections will lead you to that happiness.

To make someone happy is a worthy endeavor that creates happiness for both the one who gives and the one that receives.

A happy person is welcomed where ever they go.

Happiness is a state of mind and its for you to decide whether you will be happy or not.

Being happy doesn't mean that you aren't going to have the occasional problem in your life. Part of life's happiness is being able to deal with the problem, resolve it, and bring it to a successful conclusion.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from LIFE's REFLECTIONS, QUESTIONS & OBSERVATIONSby BRIAN D. DAVIS Copyright © 2011 by Brian D. Davis. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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