Women

This poem is for you
it is for the woman who stripped out of her suit
into dirty jeans and an over sized t-shirt
to re-tile the floor because she asked
one too many times

it is for the woman who lost herself
in cereal necklaces, Play-doh
Spongebob and practices
but secretly sips martinis before she clocks in

it is for the woman who chose her career
and loves the fact that she can take
lavish vacations ... biological clock on snooze

it is for the woman who wants to stay at home
learning every nook and cranny of her house
her children her husband and reading articles
about the women mentioned above
it is for the woman who didn't graduate
from high school but dares one of her children
to not make it

it is for the woman who is barren and adopts
even though the husband says he will leave
for the woman who committed herself
just to get a break
it is for the woman who loves women secretly
but will marry that man her mama chose
for the woman who doesn't care buys a passport
to a place where she and her can unite

This is for the grandmother raising children
because her own was a free spirit dying to catch
something else, so she let her go
six years and she still hasn't heard from her.

it is for the woman raising a child all by herself
because for this reason or the other
daddy just didn't cut it

it is for the woman who carries a child for another
she doesn't mind sharing her blessing
for the woman who receives the child
neither has a dry eye
This is for women who are still learning
for those who know the roads they will
never walk again
for women who support, who are deathly honest
who know when to listen intently
who are totally comfortable in the skin their in
and those who want to make a few adjustments
Woman
It is in your walk, the way words linger on your
tongue hoping to be said again because you're just
that bad
it is in your ability to hold it all together
to let it all fall to prove a point
sneak away gently into the night
dive into yourself and re-learn your way out
You have been mutilated in every sense
yet are on a steady journey to empowerment

Yes, you, Woman, in the middle of this madness
are celebrated.


Newness

I understand
the want
the feeling
simply waiting
Learning ... studying. ... willing to deal with
you in myspace but
the page got old

now you follow my timeline
like my statuses
tell me openly "it doesn't make sense"
sharing what we know via
no real face time
no warm embrace after goodbye
modern relationship
you update and tweet it

I left my phone on the counter
peacefully enjoying
the scenic view
that doesn't include
you ...


Enlightened

I'm
Speaking to mothers who need
To discipline their sons
Scared they'll resent them
Fathers who give all and never question
Thinking their daughters
Will hate them
Speaking to grown kids
Still at home
Paying no rent
Complaining about privacy
Sisters whose shoes are
More than their bank account holds
Wondering why they're broke

I'm talking to brothers
Who floss nice rides
Hot rims ... got bad credit and
No savings
Sisters who hear I'm sorry
3x a day but don't think
Cuz sorry won't make bruises
Heal faster
Brothers who manipulate
And disrespect the mother
Of their children
Getting pissed
About going to court

I'm talking about thinking you need
That hoe-ish woman or man in your life
Imma keep talking
To sisters and brothers with 2 jobs
And those who ain't got it

Imma keep talking
Throat hoarse
Truth given
Free samples at the grocery store

Just talking
To them an' at them
Refusing to give up
Cuz they gotta get it together


On Being Emotional
(You Wonder Why)

Borderline bipolar
secrets held
like water in a strainer
had a dream at home
and a fantasy on the road
unborn truth
excuses made due
skipped 3 strikes
stir crazy
kind words halt
paint fades
Chasing the rainbow
An illusion to escape the storm

Shouting is loving
Walls called to testify
And even they plead the fifth
Deaf ears surround the pain,
the struggle, the balance
Back cries
Rest is stolen
Must continue
Only one day to not think
But the smile fades
Hidden behind the expectation Of taking care of home


Silver Anniversary

I can't bare to watch
Sunrays turn coal black
next to love letters
Never sent
Our happiness? buried
Under tulips
Next to strength
Pretty pictures made it all seem so real
Your touch invisible on my skin
Your kiss empty starving for love

I look to visions of what we were
Imprint on the pillow
Our breathing raspy
A missing cord
A jaded tune
We got use to hearing
Emerald tears drop
Grow & become the green
I once had with you
Lost & dazed
We still pretend
To enjoy
Each other's company
Fake smiles at reunions
Playing with our grandchildren
Amazing ourselves that we are still together


Ending the Relationship-Again

Loving is for suckers
Polluted minds of soulless beings
Who don't know RESPECT from Wrong
Blown back to nonexistence
Before God said let there be light-
Heart became hard
Aspiring to do very little with his life
His graffiti wall was my artwork
No Directions
decisions made solo
feelings trampled
but an ex is an ex is an ex


Visiting Yesterday

We were different
Like wearing socks w/ dress shoes
Ketchup on eggs
A small fetish for biting nails

We lasted like time
The gingerbread house from 5
Christmas' ago

We were cool
soft jazz
On a hot night
Ice cubes on bare flesh
Sweet air blowin in my ear
Man ...
We were definitely something
Weren't we


Loving you

i'll make a recipe for what you give
so those times you're not around
i can still taste you
willingly I accept your faults
intertwined like oak roots
divine like holy water
the scent of you
reminds me of freedom liberation
true nappy hair before relaxer was invented

not new growth
as newly I grow into
an essence of
African inspired mango chicken papaya trees
breathin life into this mangled
European African soul
created by distorted visions
of corrupt politicians who wish
we still sat at the back of the bus

Us
fight morally
and become ghetto fairy tales
spoken on playgrounds
when grown ups aren't around
we run free like Negro spirituals
rituals sat up to honor us
symbolic our trust
wooden statues created
unlike rusting metal structures
we're kept sacred behind glass
fragile like Billie Holiday's first record
sex secrets told to childhood friends
We were made to outlast


Sippin Brandy

Don't preach to me about the
Possibility of change
Daily adding better plans
Trying to multiply finances
Dividing means to survive

Don't want success ... an empire
Dilapidated buildings condemned
Because its usefulness
Became useless
Contemplate conspiracy
Constantly
Allowing astonishing
Achievements of giving in

Don't wish for wanting more
Forgetting the key that turns
Night time refinement of
Daily routines

Don't politic me
Democrats voting republican
Textbooks inadequate
And 20 million
Dollar cameras
Take pictures of moon rocks

Don't categorize my belief
Make me check a box
That doesn't exist
I won't resist the need
To draw in between the lines
Creating my own

Don't guide me down your path
Thinking that cuz you did it
I will enjoy the same
Your footprints are not mine
Too much space in between the steps
I'm gonna venture off
And then track mud through
The house when I'm done
This is my journey
My time to re-evaluate whatever

I see fit
By faith I walk and when I fall
I might stay there a while to
Make sure I get all the lessons

This is my mouth
Speaking without restrictions
Cloud gone, door open
Thoughts become words instantly
Lucid, flowing from
The glass that sits next to the
Journal
Cuz sometimes I don't have time to write

I pour my wisdom
Dark and bold
Inhibitions gone
Mind clear
Saying whatever I please


Secret to Me (for A.S.B)

Breed to nurture
& inspire & guide
Always strong
Her voice ... corn liquor
burning and settling
Brought truth forward
her smile
Hides, shares
Had to always keep it on
It was southern thinking
Do what you gotta often & make a stand
After 'while
AKA in DNA
Just made sense


Mirror Image (for A.B.)

She embodies
The frame
That keeps me grounded
Perfect imitation of her
Adding to myself
She cries silently
And I catch drops
Reassurance that
I am strong
Believing
In her

In my future
I think what she feels
What she taught
I will not be lost
A number sketched
Counted with others
I stand out
full of knowledge
Mama is ... I am her reflection


Louisiana Dish (for A.K.P.)

Green eyed & fierce
A traveling suit kinda girl
Gotta move quick wit' style
She was lucky #13
Grandma won't no dummy
12 gone on in life, one mo'
Won't gonna hurt
Comfortable on the court
Wicked crossovers an' a pretty smile
Boys ain't know which was worse
Floated through the house
Doing for others what grandma did for her
Hiding what she had to ... and made it all work

Nothing was outta place 'cept how she got there
An' even then she made it fit
Creole way of doing
It's all she knows
Re-learn and do somethin' else
Every few years ... keep'em guessing
Elle vole sans ailes.


Confusion

been with him so long
u forgot why u continue
to deal with his mess
stressed over unpaid bills
dishes pilled high
endless loads of laundry
the sign says "appreciate" weekends only
ur voice
powerful in its commands
keeps home from falling apart
a bracelet of power
picking up toys
or him off the floor
never thinking that this is the last
promises scattered empty bottles
wanting
nothing but the rain

envious of birds
who leave
seasons change
barren branches
years invested
happiness on default
(somewhere in year 5)
secretly longing for him to not
be there in the morning
only vows keep you present
for better or worse
and still waiting for better to come


Out the box

You expect me to be
A size 6 or 12
Have tight abs or
Love the roundness of my hips
Wear more or take some off
Change my surface
Yet never stating that i
In my best flaw am
What you need
Quiet soul
Wanting to scream
But that ain't lady like

you had my mind
And I let the issues
Pile up on the floor
to sort them ...
Find some halfway point
Of doing you
And keeping me
ain't work

I am
Strong willed
Power suit wearing
Strutting in a room
Making heads turn

I am
Young naïve
Gifted, creative
Willing

I am
Mature, comfortable
In my single, newly divorced
Celebrating 20 year anniversary

I am
A provider
A giver
A drop bombs
On the city woman
If my village is attacked
I don't have a mold
Took a black pen
Listed my own category
And dared someone to remove it

I am
A lover
Seduction best defined
Simple
like writing my name
It comes
Late night
sleep it off
Caught up in my sheets
A prisoner

Pardoned the next morning
Because I can do that
Didn't ask cuz
I didn't care
So maybe deep down im you
Part-time carer
Sharer of feelings when I want something
Not crying when its over
Cuz I can replace you easily
Only send you text messages
In response to your voicemails
Thinking type of woman
You can't define me


Pillow Talk

This
Excites me
Sick off the thought
of loving without You

I can't keep

Lying.

I miss the meaning of the vows
The smiles of yesterday
jumping high
Off the swing

So beautiful
moments
We lived for each other
rings
You stopped ...

Running to arms
Skin that feels
like my own
Needing my help

I think we should just ...

Passion still burns
It's natural to
feel this love
with You
but

I've got to stop

Smiling period
Yearning to rest
my head on your
shoulders

From Playground
to white gown and

Letting me be fragile
Skin cold
link my own
Needing to be rescued

Try???


In Love with A Woman

No one told me
that holding your hand
would be my rebirth

Walking, wanting nothing to be
what it was
Ten years old again
Laughing at nothing
I've come to realize
I have to do things by myself

My Tea Cake
You showed that love is
and cherished it
I loved waking to you
I loved having you near me
having my hair brushed
You only wanted the best for me

I loved your poetry
I learned to love mine

I can't help but thank you
For my purpose
Cocooned in a your hands

You watched me break free and
Butterfly home to him


Sometimes a Mother Just Does ...

Every mother will drop the basket
Schedules mix
Tap & basketball
Mortgage & dinner
Unpaid uncooked
The screaming to put it down!
Put it back!
If I got to
Become transparent thoughts
Whispers to a locked house
Life shatters & scatters across the freshly
Mopped floor
Serenity near the chair
Confidence by the trash
Comforting arms slid under the fridge
Pieces of self once brilliant
Now dusty dragged scarred
Maybe they should be left
Maybe this is it
You get no paid leave
You can't clock out early
Call in sick
1 of 365 is the tribute
Thank you's suffice
Knees hit tile searching wondering
But it's just that moment that defines her

she puts her hand on peace
Dusts knees
Stands up and is proud


Late Night Call with M.T.J.

She's mad because she doesn't have a man
I tell her you don't need one
I don't need a man to complete me
I want him to compliment me
I want him to kiss me in the morning
When we wake
I want him to hold me when I don't
Want anything
I want him to listen to me talk about
Everything and nothing
I'm passionate about

Can you be there when I don't need
You take the world off my shoulders
Place it in a box
Say it's not that bad
Everything is beautiful about me
From my walk to my struggle
I give all of myself knowing
Sometimes
Sometimes
I want to miss you
I want to crave your scent
An addict
Finding everything that reminds me of you
Until the moment you walk through the door
enjoy every part of me

My weight my stretch marks
My voice
The texture of my hair between your fingers
I want a man who will listen to me cry

Respond with held hands
Give me forehead kisses
And body rubs that
Make the argument I had with my boss
disappear
it's just that simple

I want him to know that I kiss him
Not because the mood is right
But because at the moment we reached a peak
And I want to know his breathing
That that when he exhales
There is knowledge of me
Wisdom fills the air
And now every word he speaks
Drips me

I love myself
I'm real
I show who I am
I am not ashamed
To be too heavy too light
I motivate
I encourage
I love
I laugh
a spirit of discernment
To be encountered

valued by few
Bless my house with your presence
Take charge as God ordained
Follow when it's my turn
Let me eat, while you get full
I'm satisfied for you
I don't want him to come to me complete
I want him as a beautiful disaster
Take my hand and walk through the storm
Of finding himself
Because I'm looking for myself too

I am the third and fourth vertebrae
Helping him bend to carry me
And the world on his shoulders

She didn't hear me
Said that's why too many women are single
But I choose to be
Carrying the gates of heaven between my legs
Reading the book of life
And only when I become the good thing
Do I let him enter

She said I can't do that
He could never find another
Lover as sweet as me

My muse
Who inspires me to be
Everything I can
And love me when I'm not
Knowing that I'm trying
At this moment
I have a simple desire
To be held
And have him look in my soul
admire my beauty
embrace my destiny
because with him
I am all that God has designed me to be

She said she can't wait for that
I said wow
That's all I've ever waited for.