Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heardbut things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor's hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today's parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really needand enjoy.
Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face. You may even forget to patiently count to three the next time tiny Tallulah needs a time-out. "Let us be perfectly frank," writes Mellor. "You were here first." The empowerment is almost unbearable! "It's time to warm up the ice cubes, curl up on the sofa, and send darling Spencer into the other room to play by himself," insists Mellor. The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you've gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders ("a disease") and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there's a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it -- with lots of alcohol...-
Chicago Sun-Times Mellor, mother of "two darling little angels," tells parents it's time take back their lives--and their right to have a few cocktails at a child's midday birthday party. With chapters such as "Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early?" and "Screaming: Is It Necessary?," the author lays out a plan for parents to enjoy themselves and not be slaves to their children while still offering their kids a warm, nurturing environment. Mellor's advice has a retro twang, and is always wry and often quite funny, standing in sharp contrast to the guidance normally found in books of its kind. The author urges readers to recruit children to pitch in with household chores ("Three years old is not too soon to start learning the fundamentals of decent vacuuming") and thinks excessively childproofing a home is ridiculous, since kids find a way to open complicated locks anyway ("You might as well festoon all your drawers and cabinets with brightly colored flags that say 'Hey, You! Kid! Fun and Danger in Here!'"). Mellor's guide will surely be a boon to parents in need of some "grown-up time." -Publishers Weekly