Tears of a Son is a compilation of poetry for anyone who has ever experienced love, joy, lost, hurt, and pain. This book shows that there are other ways to find inner self. It was written through the eyes and mind of the author after a series of emotionally draining events, which greatly impacted his life for the better. It is Godwin's unique outlook on life as he came to a crossroad after trying to do things on his own; he turned to God for answers and it was revealed to him that the pen is stronger than the sword. Once he acknowledged God, the Lord worked through his life, towards a brighter future, with the power of words to set him free. He wants the inspire others to find their outlet to express themselves in positive ways, seeking God for guidance in their lives.

Tears of a Son

By Godwin H. Clarke

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Godwin
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-4550-0

Contents

1. Tears of a Son.....................................32. Violation..........................................43. Precious Invisible Stone...........................54. Alone..............................................65. Smiles.............................................76. Dragon.............................................87. Hit List...........................................98. The Truth..........................................109. The Pain...........................................1110. Black Widow.......................................1211. House of Lies.....................................1312. Sorry.............................................1413. Cupid's Love Dart.................................151. Death of My Unborn.................................192. Lost Love..........................................203. Crashing Down of My World..........................214. Chess Game of Life.................................225. Pigeons............................................236. Pepper's Departure.................................247. The Undelivered Letter.............................258. Lost Friend........................................279. Estrange Friendship................................2910. My Apology........................................3011. The Funeral.......................................311. Court Date.........................................352. Blind Justice......................................363. Man's Law..........................................374. Judge Dredd........................................385. Easy Target........................................396. Who Do You Want?...................................407. The Understanding..................................418. Darken Glasses.....................................429. The Request........................................4310. Carnival Ride.....................................442. Tear Drops.........................................473. Questions..........................................484. Mental Maze........................................495. Flowers............................................506. Caring Friends.....................................517. Merry Go Round.....................................528. A True Friend......................................539. Sweet Lady.........................................5410. My Everything.....................................5511. The Vision........................................5612. My Missing Family.................................5713. My Wife Search....................................5814. Dream Girl........................................5915. Eternal Love and Friendship.......................6016. Rebound...........................................6117. Commitment........................................6218. The Friend Zone...................................6319. Legacy............................................651. On My Knees........................................692. Crossroad..........................................703. From the Darkness..................................714. The Journey........................................725. Prodigal Son.......................................736. Forgiveness........................................747. Garden Of Weeds....................................758. The Thorn..........................................769. Do We Listen.......................................7710. The Lord's Word...................................7811. Thank You Father..................................7912. Things That You Do................................8013. Repentance........................................8114. Rebirth...........................................821. Tiny Butterflies...................................852. Goddess............................................863. Rainy Days.........................................874. Dread Locks........................................885. St Patrick's Day Birthday..........................896. Winter's Storm.....................................907. Beautiful Lady.....................................918. The First Wife.....................................929. Forbidden Fruit....................................9310. Valentine Day.....................................9411. School Girl.......................................9512. Thoughts of You...................................9613. The Clock.........................................9714. Her Beauty........................................9815. Baby's Birth......................................9916. Springtime........................................10017. The Twelfth Rose..................................1011. Family Love........................................1052. A Mother's Love....................................1063. Mummy..............................................1074. Happy 70th Birthday................................1085. Happy Father's Day.................................1096. The Farmer.........................................1107. Sisterly Love......................................1118. Band of Brothers...................................1129. Heaven's Angel.....................................11310. Goodbye...........................................11411. The Great Storms..................................11512. Lost of An Innocent...............................11613. Her Inner Beauty..................................11714. Friendship Hive...................................11815. Time..............................................12016. The Agent.........................................12117. British Gas Energy Victory........................12218. Trini Christmas...................................12319. Circle of Friendship and Love.....................12420. DC Earthquake.....................................12521. You...............................................12622. Godwin (Good Friend)..............................1271. My Heart's Desire..................................1312. Meditation.........................................1323. Freedom............................................1334. The Seasons Of Life................................1345. What's next?.......................................1366. My Life............................................1377. Mixed Up...........................................1398. I Think............................................140

Chapter One

    Tears of a Son

    My eyes are red, my face is wet
    The flood gates are open, the pressure was met

    My emotions inside have emerged, for this is not a dream
    The Joy, the Pain, the Sorrow can all be seen

    My tears are from when I am Sad, Mad, and Happiness
    From my past life, present and future coming bliss

    These tears I have inside can show up at anytime
    The worst tears of all are when my heart is smashed fine

    I have cried many tears as vast as a sea
    This sight may not be pretty to some, but I am expressing me

    The tears from this man are not always from pain
    They are sometimes from the love of my family and spiritual gain

    My lord said he is always with me, to wipe away my tears
    To be there to Comfort me, Carry me, and take away my fears

    So if you see me crying, it can be from either my ups or downs
    They are just, TEARS OF A SON

      Godwin


    Violation

    It is hard to hear what he had done to you
    He left you bruised, forever scared, black and blue
    It was a heinous and most violent act
    It is the worse human violation as a matter of fact

    He robbed you of your innocence
    Forever living your life in horrific remembrance
    Betraying your trust
    To fulfill his insatiable lust

    He held you down, and began to rape
    Tears on your face, you can't escape
    Afraid for your life, nowhere to run
    For your life was threatened with his gun

    Your life is now forever change
    You are feeling dirty, your heart's in pain
    Still crying and full of emotion
    Stomach upset like a stormy ocean

    Now you are no longer whole, you're broken inside
    Can't be touched, you're feeling defiled
    You are walking around lost in this world
    He has stolen a piece of your soul

    Self-esteem shattered like a fragile glass
    Now easily used by men who just want some ass
    Going from man to man to find love or validation
    Numbers adding up, too much computation

    It is not too late to say a prayer and get on the right track
    Have faith in God; you don't have to live life on your back
    You future is brighter, than your past with him
    Now you will no longer be a Victim

      Godwin


    Precious Invisible Stone

    Here I am, Here I am
    Lying in the sand
    Nobody sees me
    Like I am the Invisible man
    They look up, they look down
    But still not seeing me
    Visible on the ground
    Screaming, shouting
    Nobody hears me

    Here I am, Here I am
    Lying in the sand
    Waiting for someone to see
    That I am a good man
    Some walk pass
    Some stay for awhile
    But, none try to find
    The real man that is on the inside

    Here I am, Here I am
    Lying in the sand
    Waiting for that right person
    To come on by
    To see the shining diamond
    That was sent from the most high
    Am I not worthy to be owned?
    Pick me up, dust me off
    I'm one of God's precious stones

    Here I am, Here I am
    Lying in the sand
    All alone

      Godwin


    Alone

    Sitting In a crowd, still I am all alone
    Thinking in my mental zone

    Why do I have to be so hurt and abandoned?
    Why am I so depressed? Where has my sun gone?

    I am the sixth child out of seven
    Why is my life so unleveled?

    I know my parents are doing the best they can
    Trying to raise me in this world to be a good man

    Many children for them to take care of
    Not getting my attention, not feeling the love

    I started to rebel, started to fight
    To be seen in my family, not in the shadow but in the light

    I became quiet and things I internalize
    Suppressing my hurt and pain deep inside

    I am all alone in this crowded space
    Trying to hide what's written on my face

      Godwin


    Smiles

    Does a smile means you are happy inside?
    Hurt and pain could be bubbling underneath all the while

    Beneath that smile can be scars deep as the River Nile
    It could be from our past, as far back as when we were a child

    We carry pain around, and try to hide
    Never seeking help, life's getting worse covered up with a smile

      Godwin


    Dragon

    I have a dragon that lives within
    A dragon that was born out of sin

    My dragon is also known as my temper
    If ever awakened, will melt the coldest winter

    As a child it was always seen
    Ever hurt me, and you would know what pains mean

    I learned to control my temper and people I did ignore
    If I didn't; to jail I go, take away the key and close the door

    I channel my temper in varies different ways
    I am not going to be one of the devil's slaves

    Shy and physically active I became
    Sometimes attaining a little fame

    Many years the dragon has been asleep
    The thought of it being awakened, I weep

    I know I wouldn't be able to control
    This dragon if it is ever unleashed upon the world

    For you may see me smile and grin
    But, please don't ever awaken the dragon that lives within

      Godwin


    Hit List

    When I was young and spiritually lost
    I wanted to destroy the people that hurt me the most

    I devised a plan
    That when I became a man

    I would have seek them out
    And showed them what hurt was about

    So, I started to make a list
    Names, hurts, thinking of my coming bliss

    Knowing the world is run by money
    Headed to the books, I began to study

    Knowing to do this, I would need much power
    Their money, riches and life I would have devour

    When I got older, the list was destroyed
    Now I was God found, no longer a hurt little boy

      Godwin


    The Truth

    This poem is about a painful event in my life
    About a woman, whom I trusted and wanted to be my future wife

    I asked for the truth and for her to stop telling me lies
    Only to find out that she was still messing with other guys

    In a fit of hurt and pain
    Of her doing this to me again

    I took the gifts given to her with my love: flowers, teddy bear, and a card
    Profanity and hurtful words were filling the air; she is very mad

    With pain in my broken heart and temporary insane
    Onto facebook, for I was fed up of her games

    I posted what she did to the world
    In hope of reaching her lost soul

    To let everyone know the truth and uncover the secrets
    About her lies, her other life and who she was messing with

    But in the end, I still got the short piece of the stick
    She would not change, like a thorny rose with plenty pricks

      Godwin


    The Pain

    The pain, the pain, the pain
    Why is there pain in my heart again?

    I should have learned from the previous times
    I should have guarded my heart from the lies

    My heart was controlling my mind
    I saw you through rose glasses, I was love blind

    I knew it was coming, and choose to ignore
    Arguments and fights had to hastily leave the door

    The pain, the pain, the pain
    Why is there pain in my heart again?

      Godwin


    Black Widow

    The Black Widow is a very dangerous Spider
    She kills every mate that lies down beside her

    She lures them into her unsuspecting web
    As soon as they have sex with her, they are all dead

    The poor male spiders don't have a chance
    Seduced by her quiet demeanor and sultry advance

    She covers them up, spinning the deadly web between her legs
    You can hear the screams, cries and unanswered begs

    Sinking her fangs deeper, poison getting within
    Sucking their lives out, with a smile and a devilish grin

    So guys if you see the Black Widow, stay far away
    For you were warned of her life taking ways

      Godwin


    House of Lies

    It is clear the family of death lives there
    Hidden among the trees
    Off the beaten path, you can see the house
    Dark, gloomy and full of bugs
    They lure unsuspecting men into their lair
    To rob, cheat and steal their life away
    At first they seem nice, as to draw you in
    But soon, the deadly persons appear like Jeffery Dahmer
    This is the game they play, to get men to devour
    Chew them up, spit them out, and repeat it again
    They are serial decepticon, pretending to be good
    One day the true evil will be transformed
    But for those who are lucky to escape
    They use man's law to cover their wicked ways
    Because they know justice is blind
    So back to their games, to continue for now
    The day will come when their evil, will be exposed to the all
    As like Osama, thought he had gotten away
    And will forever, terrorize the innocent
    So too they have forgotten
    The longest rope has an end

      Godwin


    Sorry

    There are many things
    I would like to say
    There are many things
    I would like to take back today

    The hurt and the pain
    Was not my intent
    Only your love and happiness
    I truly meant

    To see the beauty
    In your smiles and grace
    That nobody will ever
    Be able to replace

    Love this lonely poet
    Till his very end
    Forgive his mind
    And blame his pen

      Godwin


    Cupid's Love Dart

    When the pain of the heart
    Messes with the sight of the brain

    You can't see a clear path
    You are not prepared for the coming rain

    Love makes you blind
    It also makes you stupid

    It makes you think that everyone is kind
    That love dart from that wicked man Cupid

      Godwin


    Death of My Unborn

    The death of my first unborn
    Will haunt me all my life long

    I should have known better
    When she wanted me raw inside her

    She was feeling good and wet like rain
    Body weak from twice before, can't pull out, "shit", I came

    A few weeks later, she started to feel sick
    She visited the doctor and found out quick

    You are pregnant, the doctor said
    She sank in the chair holding her head

    My phone rang and I was told
    My happiness, soon turned ice cold

    She was not going to keep my first child
    When I heard this, part of me died

    She was young and wanted a career
    My feelings she didn't care

    It was her body and can do what she wants
    She said" I am doing it within the month"

    My pleads fell on deaf ears
    A new sea was created with my tears

    The day came and the deed was done
    This was the death of my first unborn

      Godwin


    Lost Love

    On the phone, I heard her voice on the other end
    Sweet and funny she made me laugh again and again
    As I wonder what she looked like
    Talking to her just felt right
    I made my move and asked her out
    To get to know her and what she's all about
    We met, she had a beautiful face
    Intelligent, beautiful & sexy body, I had to get a taste

    We became close, started off as buddies
    Liked her very much, introduced her to my family
    As years goes by, she was always at my side
    My ups and downs, supporting me all the while
    As I close my eyes, I can still see her dance
    Her round butt, always have me in a trance
    She was the best I ever had
    I had to leave her, I was scared and mad

    I was leaving for the United States
    Leaving behind, the one I wanted for my future mate
    She was the greatest thing that happened in my life
    Should have proposed, making her my wife
    I knew I hurt her when I left
    Because, I also felt the pain inside my chest
    She broke down the walls around my heart
    She showed me true love, a new life and a brand new start

    She used to wake me up in the mid of night
    To get her loving, I didn't put up a fight
    I miss her smile, infectious laughter and my girls
    Watching and playing with them, was the best thing in the world
    I miss the family and life we could have had
    I try not to think about that life, for it makes me sad
    So I raise my glass and shout out cheers
    I will miss and love her throughout my years

      Godwin

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Tears of a Sonby Godwin H. Clarke Copyright © 2012 by Godwin. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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