CHAPTER 1
Intention
"And when you want something,all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
Paulo Coelho
Gnothi Seauton is the Delphic injunction "Knowthyself." It is inscribed in the Temple of Apolloin Delphi. From the Ancient Egyptians to Platoto Ralph Waldo Emerson to The Matrix, this is themaxim. It is essentially the very beginning of the story.How simple it sounds and yet how many of us are stillfiguring it all out. Step by step. Day by day. Getting toknow ourselves. Who are we really ... What makes uscome alive and glow from within?
Abraham Maslow observed "It isn't normal to knowwhat we want. It is a rare and difficult psychologicalachievement." And that is precisely the point when ourjourney may begin. An intention. A moment where weexamine our truth. Our deepest truest heart's desire.What do we really want?
The Ancient Greeks warned against paying too muchattention to the opinions of the multitude. Total freedomis exactly that. Anytime we are feeling somewhat torninside, it is because we have created a gap between whowe are and what it might look like to the outside world.Who we are and what we want are our truth. Theyare the part of us that is linked to universal power.Kahlil Gibran wrote "It is thy desire in us that desireth."Our truest deepest most genuine desire is life's whisper,reminding us that this is the journey we are here toexperience.
So take a moment, a candle-lit moment if you like,and write down what you really really really want. Forgethow impossible it might be. Just acknowledge it. Knowit. Own it. And let's go from there. This is a universe ofinfinite possibilities. Let's tap into miracles!
The desire may change along the way. It will be fine-tunedand perfected from this day forward. The journeytowards it is what our soul came here for. We have toprepare to receive it. In becoming someone who is readyfor this to manifest, many layers may need to be shed. AsRumi discovered, "Your task is not to seek for love, butmerely to seek and find all the barriers within yourselfthat you have built against it."
Life wants us to have everything we want. In fact,life's ideas for us are sometimes so much bigger andbetter than those we have for ourselves. But when wesettle for less than what our heart truly desires, we shutdown our connection to source energy and things feelrough. Anytime it feels tough, there is a lesson involved.It is the universe's way of asking us to raise our game.
We are here to live our most magnificent life. Aninspired and inspiring life. It is in tapping into our truththat we reach the miraculous.
This book offers many steps. I have presented thesein the order they unfolded for me. Since the idea isalways about coming back to our intuitive power, wewill be drawn to the steps in the sequence that is rightfor us. They are all interconnected and the themes willcomplete each other.
Intuition will guide us along and we will tap into ourperfect health, our perfect wealth, our perfect love andour perfect self-expression.
We will know what passion feels like, our creativeselves, and our power to be miracle magnets bringing tous our best most abundant life.
It's a very exciting journey and I am so inspired toshare it with you.
I know this is the beginning of something veryimportant ... Enjoy!
CHAPTER 2
Movement
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.Live the life you have imagined."
Henry David Thoreau
As adults, we exercise to be fit and healthy.We exercise to feel good and look after ourphysical bodies. Exercise releases endorphins,and we feel exhilarated with vigorous energy. It notonly adds fun and takes our mind off things, it is alsoimportant for the brain. Research is showing thateven developed cases of Alzheimer's show a favourableresponse to exercise being re-introduced. Exercise isimportant for healthy digestion. Exercise is importantfor restful sleep. Exercise and movement are important,no two ways about it.
It is especially so in childhood. Dr. Maria Montessoriobserved that "if a child is prevented from using his powersof movement when they are ready, the child's mentaldevelopment is obstructed." Children are not supposedto sit still for hours on end. It is not age-appropriate.Children need to move, to jump, to twirl for their brainto develop. When parents complain about their kids' nonstopmovement "they don't stop moving" "they're jumpingall the time," it is worth remembering that children comeinto the world as highly intuitive souls. They know whatthey need. And movement is something they need.
Often, when I am working with a child who is deeplyconcentrating, of his own volition, he will get up andmove around and again, on his own, he will come rightback to continue the work where he left off. For mentaldevelopment, children need to physically move. It isa regular occurrence and might happen three or fourtimes before they complete a work. It's good for them.It's more than good for them, it's a necessity for theirhealthy progress.
Physiologically
Physiologically, a child needs to move. His bodyproportion is such that movement is essential for hishealthy growth. Muscles constitute the biggest partof our bodies. A newborn's legs are 32% of his heightwhereas for an adult the lower limbs are about half ourbody. At the age of three, the legs make up about 38%.Such numbers alone should be convincing of a child'snatural desire to move. Standing on their short legs isquite an exercise in balance for children and they usuallyrun to mask the difficult task of walking. Childrentend to rest with their stomach on the floor and theirlower legs turned upwards. They will usually raise theirshoulders and stabilise on the elbows.
Children have a natural urge to coordinate theirmuscles for the movements to flow. This is an energydrive coming from within. We must allow them thatself-discovery and the perfection they are seeking.
Practical Life
Children prefer real work to play. Getting dressed is ahighly complex task for children and one that gathersboth confidence and movement. Zippers, buttons, laces,safety pins—these are all serious business for a kid tomaster. Children are fascinated by precision. They aremotivated by the order of things. Their interest in wherethe soap is placed and the folding of the towel are moregrabbing to them than the actual process of handwashing.So show them how to do tasks with precision,for they will copy every move. And know that if we flipour hair in the midst of a presentation, they will do thattoo!
Children below the age of three are fascinated byorder. The correct placing of furniture in a room is ofutmost importance to them and this, as an activity,encourages much movement.
Discovery
Gyms are a great setting for children to master musclemovements. Climbing, balancing, jumping, running,twirling. All the different movement possibilitiesencourage muscle perfection. The child is also developingspatial skills and mental planning. And he is learningsocialisation skills whilst in motion. He must waithis turn. If he collides into someone, he will learn tosympathise with another's pain or sadness. We wouldask the hurt child if he wanted water and the answerwould unequivocally be yes. So, the responsible childwould grab a glass of water for his friend and somehoweveryone would be soothed. It was the magic recipe everytime.
So many times, I'm standing in the supermarketqueue, and I watch children looking around them,trying to access new knowledge whilst adults are busyscolding them about not touching anything, and notmoving! Life is about movement. Requesting that a childstand still like a statue while we conduct our businessis not natural. Children discover the world throughmovement, through touching, feeling, smelling, tasting.They are merely exploring.
E = mc2
Energy equals matter moving forward. Albert Einsteindiscovered that "nothing happens until somethingmoves." To move is to feel. The Chinese express it asmoving Chi or energy around the body. Emotion isto create movement. Love, anger, fear are all meant toincite us to move forward—either towards what we loveor away from what makes us angry. Even fear is aboutproceeding with caution.
Exercise releases beta endorphins. The Vagus nervewhich is essential for our parasympathetic nervoussystem to feel relaxed, to feel good, is activated throughbreathing fully. This happens when we exercise and whenwe meditate. Exercise takes us forward physically andmentally and meditation takes us forward emotionallyand spiritually.
Our Heart's Desire
Our deepest truest heart's desire is the starting point. Itis, in fact, our point of power. When we acknowledgewhat it is that our soul yearns for and take even themost minor step towards it, life comes in and supportsus every step of the way. Sometimes the desire is feltunconsciously. As in, we're living our life getting on withit but deep in our being, we know this isn't it. That innerstirring also gets things moving. Much of the time, somedrama is incurred. We lose the job, the relationship, ourmoney or we might even get ill. Life's options for gettingus moving are many.
Just know that when consciously or unconsciously,our soul yearns for something else, life will move us inthat direction. So when it looks like a mess just whenyou've declared your deepest truest heart's desire, acceptthat as part of the journey. Things have to change tomove us along. In fact, do more than that. Embrace thechange. Thank it, knowing that as you move through it,focused on what it is you really want, every step of theway will heal what needs healing and prepare you to bethe person ready to receive. Winston Churchill said "ifyou're going through hell, keep going." That is the truth.It might look like hell but if we're open to its gifts, thegold will emerge.
We come into the world primed for our happiness andeverything that contributes to that. Our soul knows theplan. Sometimes, our ego takes over for a moment andwe're living a life that looks good but really doesn't feelgood—on any level. As we become aware of that, even afragment of awareness, gets the ball rolling. Thomas A.Edison pointed out that "discontent is the first necessityof progress."
The First Step
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don'tsee the whole staircase." Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life really encourages our first step. The first step mightbe as simple as deciding to change the road we take towork every day, or the deli where we eat lunch. The keyis to move towards what feels good. If the longer road towork is more scenic and therefore more soothing, thenthat's the one. If the other deli offers a better meal, that'sthe one. The moment we start looking after ourselves,life joins in. When we are clear on our desire, a littleaction goes a long way. I remember when I worked infinance, many times I would notice that when someonestarts going to the gym regularly, he or she invites somebig change.
It's really about making a decision, within ourselves,that something must change. And, at that point, goingwith the flow. My first step involved moving to NYC.I know it sounds major. Truth is though, it was verysimple. I knew I needed some sort of change. Myultimate dream was to live in the midst of lavender fieldsin Provence. So New York City was a little from leftfield. I loved the Big Apple. I went there often for longweekends. I always had a good time. And my heart justwanted to be there. It was really just like that. I askedmy boss if the bank would transfer me and within twoweeks, the move had begun. It was so easy, so supportedby the universe. I went from daily struggle, accidents anddramas, to an enchanted journey to my beloved NYC.And from there, I never looked back. Every step followedin perfect timing.
CHAPTER 3
Love
"If only you could love enoughyou would be the happiestand most powerfulbeing in the world."
Emmet Fox
Attachment is a basic need for humans. In orderto develop healthily and solidly through life'sstages, we need to form a bond with at leastone other. For a child, the other is the significant adult inhis life. This adult's presence is comforting to the child.The adult responds to him and as a result, the child feelssafe in the world. Having spent about nine months inthe comfort of a mother's womb, the newborn is brutallyexposed to an unknown, bright and noisy world. Theadult in the infant's life would ideally offer comfort,tenderness and warmth, as well as meeting the basicneeds of food and hygiene. Everything that a baby needsfor his first year is found in the mother's breast milk.It's as easy as that. The milk offers the nutrients andthe immunity building. In fascinating work on IgnitingIntuition, Dr Christiane Northrup points out that breastmilk also contains Omega 3 or DHA, which ultimatelycontributes to more intelligence and higher IQ. In somecountries, DHA is not added to formula milk as it isan expensive component. Breast feeding also offers aposition in which the child feels body warmth and aconnection, physical and emotional.
It is important to point out that the provision of foodis not the ultimate goal. What the baby needs, even morethan food, is the emotional and physical connection.They are in need of a reliable source of love. PsychologistHarry Harlow conducted research on baby monkeysoffering two `surrogate mothers.' One mother was madeof hard wire whilst the other of terrycloth. The monkeysalways went to the soft terrycloth mother, even when thehard wire one had the food!
This is what Erikson called Hope—the trust versusmistrust stage. After the warmth and comfort of thewomb, out here in this big wide world, will my needswill be reliably met? It is a child's first experience withpain and it is his introduction to love. It is the definitionof unconditional love. There are two aspects to this stage:the warmth and the reliability. The infant needs to knowthat the caregiver will warmly and reliably respond to hiscrying. In the absence of such attachment, the child isinsecure. Harville Hendrix, PhD., suggests that the childmight become a clinger if the adult has been warm butunreliable. Or the child may become a loner if the adulthas been reliable but distant. It has been shown thatchildren who lack healthy attachments tend to be devoidof empathy. Many crimes in the world are conducted bythose who feel no remorse.
When adults go into therapy at a later stage in theirlife, much of the time it is to correct this basic unmetemotional need. It is through work with the therapistthat one re-builds trust in another, and the world, andis then able to develop through the other stages.
When we find mothers exacerbated by a child whowon't sleep the nights or a child who doesn't respond, itis often linked to that basic attachment issue. Throughart or play therapy, we are able to observe the missinglink. With remedial work, where the adult corrects thisand reconnects with the child, the child returns to a stateof peacefulness.
Babies who sleep too much or who cry upon wakingmight be giving us an indication that they are notenjoying their waking hours. They have come out froma warm, comfortable, soothing environment into a worldthat does not feel good and safe to them. Dr. MariaMontessori noted that these babies were preferring toregress back to their state within the womb.
It is at this stage that a baby first realises that he mightbe a separate entity and it is up to the adults to offerhim an enjoyable experience of interconnectedness. Forultimately, life is interconnected. We are not separate.We are here to care and be cared for. We are meantto work together towards a better world. We are, atour core, in sync with nature and part of the whole.We are connected to others and to life itself. We areborn interconnected, naturally caring for others and oursurroundings.
Love
The way we love our children will become theirbenchmark. By being loved unconditionally, weknow what true love feels like. Healthy relationshipsare interdependent. They are respectful. Healthyrelationships empower and strengthen us. They bring outthe best in us. They propel us to be the best we can be.Difficult relationships in adulthood usually replicate thekind of love that is familiar to us from our childhood.A distant or a mildly disapproving love can haunt us.When children know what a healthy relationship feelslike, they will strive for no less than that.
