I'm Not Supposed to Know This: An Unlikely Account of Ground Zero After the 9/11 Attacks (Paperback)

In the aftermath of September 11, 2001, Emmy Award–winning sound editor Solange Schwalbe entered Ground Zero as a contractor—one of the few women rescue workers deep inside the pit of where the Twin Towers once stood. What she witnessed there would forever reshape her understanding of fear, service, and what it means to endure.

This memoir captures the recovery effort from the inside: the relentless search, the quiet rituals of honor, and the untold moments that history never recorded. Through scenes never before shared until now, Solange reveals a Ground Zero few have seen—where strength was silent, grief was constant, and humanity persisted amid ruin.

Interwoven with her personal journey is the redemptive spirit of America itself—a nation wounded yet unbroken, learning how to stand again. Written with cinematic clarity and emotional restraint, this is not a story of spectacle but of resilience—personal and collective—and of what rises when everything familiar has fallen.

Solange Schwalbe is an Emmy Award–winning sound editor whose career in Hollywood spanned more than three decades. A graduate of UCLA’s School of Theater, Film and Television, she began her work in feature films in 1981, contributing to major projects including Black Hawk Down—winner of the Academy Award for Best Sound—and HBO’s John Adams, for which she and her team won the Emmy Award for Best Sound Editing.

In the aftermath of September 11, 2001, Solange set aside her film career to serve as a volunteer and later a safety monitor at Ground Zero in New York City, working in the Pit for four months alongside firefighters, police officers, and construction crews. Known affectionately as “Hollywood” by her fellow workers, she was one of only four women serving in the Pit out of more than 1,500 responders. Her time at Ground Zero profoundly reshaped her life, redirecting her focus from ambition to service.

Today, Solange lives in South Lake Tahoe, California, where she teaches at Lake Tahoe Community College and stays active in her community. A longtime member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and the Motion Picture Sound Editors, she continues to speak, write, and advocate for remembrance of the sacrifices made at Ground Zero. When not teaching or writing, she can be found spending time with her dogs and exploring the outdoors—skiing, hiking, and off-roading in the Sierra Nevada, the landscape she now calls home.

Matt Stern is a writer, strategist, and business leader who partners with individuals to transform lived experience into books and long-form narratives with lasting impact.

He is not a literary academic by training—he is a problem solver. With more than two decades on Wall Street, an MBA, and an active career spanning senior management and strategy roles, Matt brings uncommon commercial rigor, leadership insight, and narrative precision. He understands how ideas move people—and how stories endure.

A husband and father, Matt approaches his work from a faith-driven perspective grounded in purpose, stewardship, and truth. He collaborates closely with authors to shape memoirs and thought leadership that honor lived experience while achieving clarity, structure, and resonance, serving as a trusted partner from concept through completion.