This is not only my story; it's our story. This is me; 25 years on this earth. I bring to you my progress report. Embrace me with the same Love I placed into these poems. I express my situation with failure; the struggles; which we are face with each day; the challenges with Racism & Power of the Government. Through my experiences; I seek better Dayz & Workin' hard to alter the ways of many people. All I want from the people who reads my Poetry is to THINK. . . . . Peace and Love

The Sun that Shined in the Dark

By Kenneth Andrew Holder Durrant

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Kenneth Andrew Holder Durrant
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4772-4436-4

Contents

In the Event of My Demise..................................xiThe Mustard Seed...........................................xiiiAcknowledgement............................................xvTo: Hedda & Esther.........................................xviiFox And Lion...............................................1Notorious Big Quote........................................2Better Dayz................................................3Cashmere...................................................4Hail Mary..................................................5Livin' A Price.............................................6Mindful....................................................7Reflection.................................................8Teary Poem.................................................950 Cent Quote..............................................10Anticipation...............................................11Fearless...................................................12Last Day...................................................13Long Kiss Goodnight........................................14Momentum...................................................15Playhouse..................................................16Smoke & Mirrors............................................17The Dream I Dreamth........................................18Sun Tzu quote..............................................19You Give Your More 2 Receive Your Less.....................20Pleasure...................................................21Listen In The Casket.......................................22Caribbean Nights...........................................23Abandonment................................................24Current Event..............................................25Martin Luther King Quote...................................26Take Me In Vein............................................27Playin To Lose.............................................28Everlasting Evolution......................................29Departure..................................................30Disinformation.............................................31Confessions................................................32Breakin' A Promise.........................................33Black Economy..............................................34Blood Within My Writin'....................................35Maya Angelou Quote.........................................36Born 2 Die.................................................37Illegal Listeners..........................................38Little Secrets Cause Huge Lies.............................39Beautiful Struggle.........................................40Mount Weather..............................................41Huey P. Newton Quote.......................................42Lettin My Tears Flow Forever...............................43Friend Of Mine.............................................44Before I Wake..............................................45Evolution of my style......................................46Nico Machiavelli quote.....................................47Hope U Hear Me Callin'.....................................48Innocent Until Proven Wrong................................49Julien Champagne...........................................50Killuminati................................................51Milton William Cooper Quote................................52Last Man Standin...........................................53Majestic...................................................54Penthouse..................................................55My Mouth Seekin' Heathen Ears..............................56Tupac Quote................................................57Silent Weapon For Quiet Wars...............................58Capacity...................................................59Dear Father Forgive Me.....................................60Still I Rise...............................................61Temptations................................................62Denzel Washington Quote....................................63The Black Notes............................................64The King Of Sorrow.........................................65Duel Em For Her Love.......................................66Sseccus....................................................67The Good Ruler Reflection..................................68Good Morning...............................................69Got My Mind Made Up........................................70Krazy......................................................71Bob Marley Quote...........................................72Messenger..................................................73Lost and Tame..............................................74Michael Jackson Quote......................................75Picture on the Wall........................................76Somebody's Got to Die......................................77Soon I'll Understand.......................................78Limit Your Expectation.....................................79Lies to Livin..............................................80The Sun That Shined In The Dark............................86Napoleon Bonaparte Quote...................................87The Eyed...................................................88The Golden Fleece..........................................89The Life I Been Through....................................90Malcolm X Quote............................................91Livin Evil Growin Empty Never Dies.........................92The World is Filled........................................93Yahreema...................................................94Beautiful Losers...........................................95Mao Tse Tung Quote.........................................96Empty Full Stomach.........................................97Public Apology.............................................98Weed And Food..............................................992 Unseeing Eye.............................................100Cinderella.................................................101Jay Z Quote................................................102Why Even Try...............................................103Interlude..................................................104Black Amerikka Vs The Government...........................105Amerikkan Dream............................................106Livin In Wealth............................................107Me Against The World.......................................108I Am.......................................................109Kingdom Come...............................................110Blasphemy..................................................111The Dream Money Couldn't Buy...............................112The Coast Is Clear.........................................113Age Of Reason..............................................114Gods And Demons............................................115Some Kind Of Monster.......................................116Mark Twain Quote...........................................117Unexpected Creation........................................118Sad Lovers.................................................119Beautiful Losers...........................................120Full Moon..................................................121Lost One...................................................122Livin A Double Life........................................123Kingdom Under Stress.......................................124Thomas Merton Quote........................................126Zoroaster Quote............................................127Miyamoto Quote.............................................128Troy.......................................................129Black Skin White Mask......................................130People I Quoted I My Poem..................................131

Chapter One

Fox And Lion

"The lion cannot defend himself against snares & the fox cannot defend himself against wolves. Be a fox to discover the snares & a lion to terrify the wolves."—Niccolo Machiavelli

Notorious Big Quote

If you don't love yourself, I'll make you see your own heart

Better Dayz

My words are from the lost souls still in existence, if u want 2
conceal
knowledge trap it inside of a book, if u want 2 control people
always feed
there's need after starvation, there's tears runnin' away from my
child hood, my
life is hard & hopeless I'm tired of chasin' jobs, how can I stay legit
wit'
these flashy cars?, my taxes raised people fallen 2 their grave under
age, even
dyin' cost what about the restless slaves, please help me understand
the
evolution of history, I cannot understand this life mentally, its hard
escapin'
this fate I was place in, we need 2 stand united for our smiles 2
begin, crime
is at an all time high its never easy even gettin' by, we struggle each
&
everyday 2 find God, churches are corrupted as jail check the
collection plate,
we even payin' jus' 2 save our faith,


Cashmere

I speak expensive words this knowledge is hard 2 afford, my mind
is cashmere
linen loves 2 explore, I'm a smooth talker like I'm fine wine, women
I see them
as if I'm blind, my foundation is solid as gold watch me shake up
the world,
tears I write then after I dry my paper, face wit' odds only a rite
mind will
give in, I rehearse on alters wit' simple minded sinnin', my love is
deep like a
ocean lost wit' secrets, there's no tellin' what I have in stored I'm
filled
wit' teachin', in sight u fear my present & u cannot grip my future,
I'm pass my
past ure present cannot contrast, mean thoughts on a level not
meanin' wrong,
sex before the marriage feelin' got 2 strong, the words are friendly
but the
heart I'm tryin' 2 sense, u live wit' stress I'm livin' wit' regrets,


Hail Mary

Now your jus' a memory of my imagination, hunger 2 my pain food
2 my
satisfaction, very strange way of lookin' at life, let me sharpen your
sight
leave your soul filled wit' ice, I made my bed now I'm livin' in it,
lookin' in
the mirror never made me different, I'm turnin' green priceless
thoughts I c, &
you would have thought u think differently, my anger attracts the
wrong
attention without seekin' it, my world is selective look how
awkward my steps
are, my life is excitin' I get heart attacks thinkin' like this, face like a
youngster mind is uncertain, I'm bodyin' these folks wit' my
mental, things
photographers wouldn't capture rite, I'm not here 4 these snap
shots, who can
show me how 2 subtract time?,


Livin' A Price

Price me 4 the way I'm livin', I make sense only bums can get my
thoughts
thoroughly, the only thing guaranteed in my life is hell & death,
cold iron look
how they got me pressed, I'm blind 2 the facts because of people
fiction
thinkin', my only fault is I'm a die for my fame, money, cars, &
drugs, r the
only things tht came, I'm a die 4 fame 4 I'm a die anyway, this
version of my
life is a receipt get your change, I'm livin' a price jus' 4 all of this,
time
is tickin' my eyes r clockin' each second, fuck my story line get ures
out this
sentence, I'm livin' a price jus' 4 all of this, now back 2 the person
ure eyes
aim at, I'm speedin' 4 this life story ends where I crash at, meanin' I
reached
my peak & nothin' feels real, closed my eyes & pray I'm prepared 4
this meal,


Mindful

Punish me 4 my trouble thoughts, then u must read minds but
there are no words,
watch your step when u approach my mind, it may explode remove
ureself from this
land, planters kill the weeds I let it make my pockets grow, I'm in a
race that
I cannot win, settin' goals beyond human existence, everythin' gets
old
underneath the sun basics, resistance is the answer I've been
detectin' 4, love
ends war why can't it prevent them, things that I've seen my mind
always
preached, before I fall 2 sleep let me fall 2 my dreams, through
these eyes u
would love 2 imagine, pictures like these will make russian roulette
fun, birth
is livin' wit' pain is death any different, my frame is skinny but
inside my
mind is healthy,


Reflection

What really grows in a child's mind, romance so sweet it ain't
riddle, clueless,
brainless, my words not incline, I'm thinkin' deep no place for my
mind 2 be,
classified laws unproven rules against my views, pharmaceutical
products & time
flu my world has gone cold, my heart has love before now its all
alone, it is
not broken jus' learnin' how 2 heal, my environment shares my pain
but will
never cherish it, how far will talent push u without drive?, never
shall I sit
in dull time, tears runnin' down my face insincere, if only my mind
could hear
my heart callin', things that look strange is somethin' that the eyes
strain,
feelin' everythin' matters after a disaster, no one ever realize the rite
jus'
what is goin' wrong,


Teary Poem

Let the mind subside as the scenery become an occasion, is heaven
lookin' over
me because hell keeps on beggin' me, its less that the windows c
until the
blinds unfold, seekin' directions is a life lesson so I make great
preparation,
every person that I encounter kept things unequal, hypocrites that
come 2 get
their hands on what they can't spend, in my lifetime very
handsomely I progress
in crime, livin' a sequel in my prequel I went against crooked
people, surprise
how I dealt wit' hardship easy I came in sync, 2 catch a sucker u
must play one,
can u agree u never seen a life quite like mine, ure watchin' through
darkness
the sun that shine, A man who tosses worms in the river isn't
necessarily a
friend of the fish, ure promise the riches but u end in debt
eventually earnin'
low figures, look how fast ure life is slippin' still dreamin' of a better
livin', the drugs u use is 2 prevent u from livin' now I got u thinkin'


50 Cent Quote

Love your enemies & hate your friends. Your enemies remain the
same—friends always change.


Anticipation

I set my mind free, I went beyond analyzin' one forest tree, I notice
part of
the sky from a wells mouth, I walk where it is cold & understand
the hot south,
I was dealt a bad hand wit' good circumstance, lost my entire body
2 open up my
imagination wit' great distance, I've learned from jus' doin', no fear
of pain I
felt sorrow rain, investigation gives me the rite mind too speak, an
untold
story is a bad seed that learns to crow, who is the enemy that causes
mistreat?,
u can condemn the innocent if the public doesn't know, my worst
hour was my best
hour, my privacy has been exposed to ridicule my existence, the
wrong
information is gather by unsettled power, people love money more
than livin'


Fearless

Death is failure 4 it cannot be beaten, my life is runnin' dark I'm
finally
livin' my dream, my eyes are livin' in the fog, my views I express
them locally
on schedule, I'm thinkin' short term 4 my age doesn't mean a thing,
my beginnin'
is simply becomin' my endin', the life I leave is 4 eyes 2 achieve, can
I live
this could be the last thing I breathe, I don't sleep but I'm tired
ready 2 fall
eternally, how much grief can my eyes live wit'?, through troubled
timez my mind
allows me 2 roam free, who knows what the heart really says, feel,
or think?,
I'm not askin' 4 any acceptance jus' the rite deal, a thief wouldn't ask
a liar
4 the truth, there's nothin' before ure sight, the eyes learns from the
wise but
also answers the fool,


Last Day

I feel so relaxed in your arms, no beauty matters as time goes on,
nothin' else
matter except what we have, let me jus' die in ure arms, let my fear
answer my
prayers, u cannot image half my problems, same story different
question false
results, u grow u develop u breakdown circle of life, how u spend
your present
your future will pay, no eyes no prize emptiness fills your inside,
my foot
mostly never touches the brakes, how do u prefer 4 me 2 stop?, I'm
buildin' you
wit' the best logics, this traffic let your eyes not watch, I ain't mad at
cha 4
wishin' these changes, picture me rollin' wit' the heartz of men,


Long Kiss Goodnight

Evil needs only 2 win once Good must at all time, did I hit you wit'
this 2
early, or maybe your mind is not sharp enough, the road is rough
without any
smooth, I'm heartless when it comes 2 this, tension is surrounded
by fear, y u
think its so hurtful?, it protects itself at all cost even when all is lost,
at
least I witness my enemies defeat, let me know everythin' until I fall
2 you, &
grant me the gift 2 shower my pain, my fate is only enough 4 me 2
control, I am
so thoughtful of myself, do I have u open? Wait hurry & say, is this
torture or
is this love?, I close my eyes as I give the sky a long kiss goodnight,


Momentum

The heart is at stray & only money fills your space, neglectin' the
ones who
care this is strange where u dump waste, are you lyin' 2 yourself
there's no
truth bein' told, two face how cold can u get & u have kids 2 mold,
dreams get
sold know price is familiar, u never work so long 2 fall short how
similar, now
u will never c how great u would have become, places only your
mind explore &
the body shield against the sun, look life gets tough even if u choose
2 look
away, you only die once so look at it with a straight face, the ones
you hurt
will soon be the many u need, is it wrong if they leave your wound
unaided 2
bleed, you lost your ambition your motives are different in this
scene, you've
fallin' 2 your knees all I hear is the silent scream, held inside safe
from the
outside now its finally seen, somethin' went missin' without the rite
attention


Playhouse

Let the random situation begin, its like your on the end of the
phone but ure
eyes r insecure, I'm goin' against the grain & I couldn't crack a
cemented
pavement, you got me really feelin' like I'm speakin' a different
language, now
your feelin' sorry 4 ureself, life itself is illegal death is legal because
know
wrong can be done, u got me thinkin' about u crazy my mind is a
mental mad
house, remotely our feelin's are uncontrollable, there's a big
difference
between succeedin' through ure eyes & failin' through mine, before
u plant ure
seed make sure the roots are not conceived, let the feelin' grow
unnoticed let
the eyes avoid selections, I'm gentle as a dove & wise as the serpent,
no form
of pain shown but your heart is really hurtin', this matter needs 2
settle
before our curtain close, how can love make us so hateful?, my
words reflect my
feelin's but my feelin's put my words 2 shame,


Smoke & Mirrors

Look at this scene this is what I dream, ure livin' in it now doesn't it
feel
surreal, the story begins my life begins in autumn weather, I came
from nothin'
now I'm somethin' summer is clever, don't u understand why the
sun shine, if u
stare the glare will leave the sight shortly blind, back 2 the
description that
I'm illustratin' time has no patience, I'm in a hurry 2 make my life
worth
livin', before everythin' passes me by I'm deep sinkin', there's nothin'
2 hold
on 2 but my goals, my ambitions is at war my passion will not
surrender very
bold, yes I am glad my vision is piercin' ure mind, listen 2 my wolf
cry wait
doesn't that mean lies, well these eyes cry truth never confuse, don't
criticize
me I'm jus' bringin' the news, look how unfamiliar this world
makes me feel,
smoke & mirrors can u jus' imagine when it finally disappears,


The Dream I Dreamth

My heart is burnin' against the pain I'm causin', feelin' the effect
everytime I
try 2 reconnect, I knew I would have spoiled us before we got out
dated, I was
good 4 a moment but the sex changed everythin', relationship went
good until sex
changed our mood, why is not the wood still burnin'?, do we need
more fire or
more wood, less of everythin' made nothin' different jus' weaker,
there goes the
fire outcome burn wood, u never love me before because I no
longer feel
stronger, this disguise is hurtin' why did u lie jus' 2 get over, well
your
under I chose my path your now past me, not pass me I'm headin'
towards my
future, watch me scream fabrication viewin' Lucifer Lucifer, who
gave the name
of power 2 unspoken names?, dreamth this 3 days ago so my eyes
altered each
frame,


Sun Tzu quote

Confront them with annihilation, & they will survive; plunge them
into a deadly
situation, & they will then live. When people fall into danger, they
are then
able to strive for victory.


You Give Your More 2 Receive
Your Less

The obvious will say anythin', let ure fingers be clean as u direct
them at me,
pain will always exist as long as there's life, let no heart exist without
the
feelin' of love, shall I receive 4 what I am owed, my all I give 2
witness no
less, love shall go where it is welcome, please relieve me from this
stress, I
feel my heart has been fooled, & I sense that this feelin' is true,
every heart
has 2 feel love, then can love be set free, love is not at heart in
existence,
when love exist no more then we miss it, Love is powerful it should
not be 4
self, You Give Your More 2 Receive Your Less


Pleasure

I feel a ton of joy wit' spoils of my treasured scorn, thinkin' of
precious
wasted lifeless moments gone wrong, I shake when I wake is this
some kind of
mistake, I let u ruin my love wit' blindness I think 2 myself, I think
I'm in
need of a lesson, surely I made choices that I must live wit',
bitterness has
torn my heart & angered I am not 2 listen, take me out 2 sea &
dump my lifeless
awoken body, I'm empty my feelin' is not at peace, I may not live 2
dream
silently in turmoil I grieve, all these year never could I imagine
separatin'
how tragic, guess this is the simplicity of minds thinkin' average,
greed in
rich the eyes & victimize the mind, school educated me improper
the streetz
opened up my mind larger, I'm loyal so don't think of me as a
traitor, I'll
never change jus' would not allow mistakes the same,


Listen In The Casket

I c jealously I was fooled by hugs, I believed in what I saw I'm
relieved of
love, 4give me 4 who I am this feelin' is true 2 this man, I cannot c 4
others
but I can shed light where it covers, what happen 2 my history we
cannot even
explain 2 each other?, corrupted cops are protected by the
corruption of law,
how many youth are trapped in the system 4 drug dealin'?, but the
child molester
is out & his eyes are appealin', my thoughts are transparent & ure
ears has gone
deaf, its time 2 grow up or get left behind, nightmares like this
makes my dream
uneasy 2 rest, ignored a few signs mistakes gave experience plenty
shine, look
at the envious very devious wit' their illustrious, we seek the value
of their
high prices, crime is evident when seekin' a way out becomes
impatience, jus'
know the good book is shown before the sentence,


Caribbean Nights

Wit' pleasure comes much needed rest, please don't let this moment
live out wit'
regret, before makes much more sense than after, my drive wit'
struggle
nourished me 2 profit greater, after my struggle past on my passion
did as well,
did I beat struggle or did I blossom 2 fail, I felt fire this ain't livin' in
hell, I wore white heaven doesn't clean up well, spear me 4 lettin'
out this
truth, spear the person that is bringin' this news, what of the people
that
causes the pain I fuel?, never mind them they do not poison ure
little angels,
my words & soul is 1 wit' my spirit, my meanin' is my life & I come
2 grow, in
my eyes is it not livin', 2 explore & learn what u don't know,
(Caribbean
Nights)

(Continues...)

Excerpted from The Sun that Shined in the Darkby Kenneth Andrew Holder Durrant Copyright © 2012 by Kenneth Andrew Holder Durrant. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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