Stones of Help: My Ebenezers by Jane Cocke Perdue Ebenezer: the Hebrew meaning is "stone of help" It is referenced in the bible in 1 Samuel 7:12. Samuel, the prophet, placed a stone between Mizpah and Shen after a victory of the Israelites over the Philistines. This monument signified God's help and an acknowledgment of God's particular blessings. All my life God's help and blessings have been near and evident: revelations unfolded often retrospectively, observations unique to the present moment, hope intruding into the present, celebrations within the family and beyond, disappointments transformed by understanding, forgiveness of myself and others, and an indescribable grace presiding over each day. Here are collected poetic descriptions of some of those monumental stones of help, my ebenezers.

Stones of Help: My Ebenezers

By Jane Cocke Perdue

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Jane Cocke Perdue
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4772-8940-2

Contents

Section I: Celebrations............................11. Wonder Years....................................32. A Creek's Redemption............................43. Devotion........................................54. Little Man of Four..............................65. Making a Bed....................................76. Spend the Night.................................87. Perspective.....................................98. Prisms Breaking Light...........................109. Birthday Visit..................................1210. Sign of the Supper.............................1411. My City Friend.................................1512. Growing-up Houses..............................16Section II: Observations...........................1713. A New Bookstore................................1914. Bonanza........................................2015. Lament for the Winner..........................2116. Survivors......................................2317. Rock Reminders.................................2418. Icy Valentines.................................2519. Nature's Gleaners..............................2620. El Paso City...................................2721. Like...........................................2822. Out of Season..................................2923. Modernization of a Meadow......................3024. Pecans.........................................3225. Warning........................................3326. A Moment in Time...............................3427. Autistic Sunday................................3528. Lonely Windows.................................3629. Shoes Make the Woman...........................3830. See-Saw........................................3931. Field Trip.....................................4032. The Laptop.....................................4133. Pure Dust......................................4234. Temptation.....................................4335. A Cousin's Funeral.............................4436. Tick Tock......................................45Section III: Disappointments.......................4737. Genesis........................................4938. A Child's Intuition............................5039. Substitution...................................5140. Default Divorce................................5241. The Warning....................................5342. The Fixer......................................5443. Fragments......................................5544. Word Deception.................................5745. Instead........................................5846. Death by Pollution.............................5947. Shalshelet.....................................6048. In the Dark....................................61Section IV: Revelations............................6349. The Asparagus Bed Gone.........................6550. Dreams.........................................6751. The Bonfire....................................6852. Past Time......................................6953. An Ordinary Walk...............................7254. Clamped on the Heart...........................7355. The Search.....................................7456. Cake Testing...................................7657. Leisure........................................7758. Women's Wedge..................................7859. Old Fashioned..................................7960. Moving Boxes...................................8061. Newcomer.......................................8162. My Friend Amy..................................8263. Personal Spaces................................84Section V: Forgiveness.............................8764. Pound of Flesh.................................8965. Ghetto Walking.................................9166. Liberated Women?...............................9267. Hate Words.....................................9368. Invisible......................................9469. Evenings at the Club...........................9570. Once Upon a Time...............................9671. The Crack......................................9772. Blame..........................................9873. Flames Without Heat............................9974. Lou............................................10075. Friday Friendships.............................10176. Choices........................................10277. Refuge Library.................................103Section VI: Hope...................................10578. Birdsong.......................................10779. Then and Now...................................10980. Death's Stream.................................11081. Rainy Saturday.................................11182. Salad..........................................11283. Ritual of Hope.................................11384. Follow-Through.................................11485. Tuck the Children In...........................11686. The Edenton Tea Party..........................11787. Uniform Design.................................11888. The News Carrier...............................11989. Dream Wanderings...............................12090. The Adolescent.................................12191. Playtime.......................................12292. Second Thoughts................................12393. Provoked.......................................12494. Short Cut......................................12595. Single Duet....................................12696. The Rising.....................................12797. Short-lived....................................12898. Your Teapot....................................13099. First-born Baby-boy............................131100. Within Reach..................................133Section VII: Grace.................................135101. Sanctity in Ordinary Time.....................137102. Inheritance...................................138103. Hoop Games....................................139104. Transformation................................140105. A New Thanksgiving............................141106. Discovery.....................................142107. The Garden Party..............................143108. Seasoned......................................144109. Daddy Cooking.................................145110. Bob's Tea.....................................146111. Clay-footed Idol..............................148112. Two Fathers...................................149113. Life Partner..................................151

Chapter One

Celebrations

    Wonder Years


    This is your prime time, grandson,
    When you thrill to find bugs,
    See birds and look at the moon,
    Before your T-ball friends capture you
    And take you to the land of cyberspace,
    Pizza, movies and the mall.

    Thank God for years of wonder
    At the treasures of a kitchen,
    Pots and pans to make a world
    Of parades and pretending
    Before you subscribe to boredom,
    The required rite of teen-ageing.

    Today you saw a flower blooming,
    Your eyes gleamed with awe
    As you said, "Let's leave it here
    To be beautiful for everyone who sees."
    I would wish to leave you here as well
    So beautiful in your prime time.


    A Creek's Redemption


    The creek moved cool and calm
    in the valley stretched
    like a green, tufted bedspread
    tucked between soft, low hills
    behind our rambling house.
    We carried brown bags and sand pails,
    picnicked on a log bridge,
    swinging our summer bare feet
    above the tinkling stream.

    We dug in sand banks, made frog houses,
    squirmed toes in slimy mud
    until
    reluctantly signaled by sun's disappearance
    beneath distant hills
    turned purple in dim dusk,
    we returned home in darkness,
    feet tingling from wading waters.

    Seventy-five years gone
    but carefully remembered—
    the redemption of peanut butter picnics
    on a bridge over creeks of childhood.


    Devotion


    High-topped, laced, brown shoes,
    walking badges of maidenhood;
    hair tucked tightly into a bun,
    no stray wisps dangling
    like participles,
    reading glasses swinging
    on a plain necklace chain
    as liver-spotted hands
    reach toward the chalk tray.

    No power point presentation
    but the lesson stays:
    Amo, amas, amat—
    never lost from memory
    these last fifty years,
    nor the image of a teacher,
    work for the night
    stuffed into her canvas tote
    to carry down the hill
    where she will wait alone
    at the bus stop
    after the last bell.


    Little Man of Four


    Little man of four
    so careful by the door
    watching for the rusty truck
    low-riding with trimmings
    from a day's hard work
    in the heavy heat
    of Texas late July.
    He hears it first, then squeals—
    wheels turning in the drive
    as he runs to his dad
    to be lifted in the air
    by calloused hands.

    In afternoon's sweet shadows,
    little man of four helps
    unload the muddy thermos,
    dragging it across the yard
    into the kitchen to be filled,
    anticipating the next day
    watching his father leave
    while early morning promises
    a few cool hours
    before the sun is high.


    Making a Bed


    The phrase confuses,
    No hammer to nail to wood,
    Merely three minute's time,
    Hands smooth the first layer,
    A template for neatness,
    At the corners, nurse-efficient folds.

    Pillows fluffed, duvet in place,
    Symbols of order,
    Responsibility met,
    Stringent household habits
    Leave no secret chance
    To sleep past day's alarms.

    Once, interrupted by a bell,
    I continued into day
    While rumpled nighttime covers
    Remained untended.
    It made no difference.
    The beginning became the end.

    At bedtime, I made the bed,
    Fluffed the pillows,
    Pulled back the spread,
    Crawled beneath the sheets
    And slept.


    Spend the Night


    Cold night made cozy
    under warm covers and darkness.
    Sleep's breeze softly closes
    daytime's anxious doors.

    Gentle noises interrupt—
    an outlined shadow by the bed
    leaning, softly whispers,
    "I thought I heard a story!"
    Thankfully, grandson,
    this gift of bedtime,
    it is for you.


    Perspective


    Adaptation study—
    Pigeons perch and coo,
    contently roofed atop buildings
    where air conditioners hum
    and computers sing their modern tunes.
    A worker glimpses mottled feathers
    flying past openless windows
    and remembers
    stale bread saved for park pigeons
    on boyhood outings.
    Are today's city nuisances
    the progeny of his childhood delights?


    Prisms Breaking Light

    A farmer scoops soil in dirt-encrusted hands,
    Spreads his fingers slightly,
    Watching with reverence
    As small particles of earth
    Sift softly between his fingers
    Falling like diamonds to the ground.

    A concert master caresses strings
    Tenderly with the bow
    Coaxing music from the instrument,
    Offering notes emotion-filled
    With a simple touch
    Resonating from the heart.

    A mechanic rolls his trolley forward
    From under bowels of a motor,
    Wrench raised like a victory flag.
    He climbs behind the steering wheel,
    Turning the engine to a humming start,
    Sounding his ability to resurrect usefulness.

    A student reads lines over again
    Without a trace of comprehension.
    The teacher leans across the desk
    Softly whispering, "Again, and you will have it!"
    The pupil's posture shifts to expectation
    And finally to understanding.

    A variance of human callings
    With goals divergent as prisms breaking light,
    But commonality in satisfaction's joy.


    Birthday Visit.

    I am two!
    I can hold two fingers in the air
    and count to ten (sometimes)
    and sing my letters
    and do everything
    by myself (when I want to)
    and I see strangers
    in this new place.
    My short memory
    gives no clues,
    no recognition,
    no context from experience,
    just now, just here, just me!
    New toys with noises:
    A cow says moo.
    A sheep goes baa.
    A pig squeals.
    A horse neighs.
    A chicken clucks
    in Old MacDonald's farmhouse—
    E-I-E-I-O.
    A hanging monkey on a doorknob
    wants to be my friend.
    A doll in a carriage
    begs me to push.

    A puzzle to play
    when I want.
    Some books to read
    when I am in the mood.
    A pocket hanging
    for my letters A,B,C.
    For me
    now
    today for me to play.

    Next year I will not remember
    and we can start again
    when I am three!


    Sign of the Supper


    He cooks dinner in chaos,
    pours frustration into pots
    to boil and burn.
    Charred kitchen smells,
    heat on high
    scorches remains
    of yesterday's drippings.

    In runs the boy
    with muddy shoes,
    his dog wagging behind,
    wedging through
    the slamming door—
    all is well once more.
    He reaches for the dial
    to temper the flame.
    Supper simmers
    to satisfaction,
    granting absolution—
    communion
    with father,
    son
    and holy dog.


    My City Friend


    I miss her like a sister who calls
    every day telling all the news
    fit to hear or not.
    I miss her screeching rescue sounds,
    summertime's ripe garbage smells,
    dogs leading owners through the park

    Her picture regularly appears
    on nightly news and morning shows
    where her outlined figure reveals
    landmarks so familiar
    causing painful cravings
    to walk her cement paths again.

    Her army of night lights cluster
    squeezed tightly in the darkness
    by the shadowed water boundaries.
    She is the city of my best dreams
    filled with music of other tongues
    and rhythms of her endless sounds.


    Growing-up Houses


    How many?
    Count from birth or memory?
    A college town still street,
    A house beside a creek
    And dead-end's glorious freedom
    From traffic and intrusion,
    Woods-filled suburbs
    With cul-de-sac kid gangs.

    And then. And then ...
    Across country
    Miles by the thousands,
    A Texas growing-up
    Edging endless hills
    Filled with snakes and cacti
    Threatening each deer-trail hiking path
    With daring fit for teenage angst.

    Fifty years
    Still growing-up—
    Many growing-up places,
    Only one growing-up space:
    My heart.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Stones of Help: My Ebenezersby Jane Cocke Perdue Copyright © 2012 by Jane Cocke Perdue. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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