“It’s very likely you did not, or will not, marry a man for his children. Yet, if they are integral to your husband’s life, you must immediately and automatically incorporate them into yours, from the moment you say, ‘I do.’”
In every aspect of life our most important work is on ourselves—but when a woman marries a man who has children from a previous marriage, there is much more to care for than the marriage. Even if she only sees the children every other week, they play a recurring role in her life.
How does a woman prepare for this continuing challenge? Is there a mysterious formula, a special technique, an established method by which she can gracefully move into both roles—wife and stepmother—fully prepared for every pitfall?
After two marriages, seven stepchildren, and with 50 years’ worth of experience, Margit Bernard offers her decidedly realistic perspective to those stepmothers who find themselves struggling . . . and to help prepare those women who are embarking on a new life as a stepmother.
Ms. Bernard asks her fellow stepmothers to see themselves differently: not trapped in an impossible predicament, but as a valuable and adaptable part of the expansive panorama of life—a view we can all appreciate, and that can only be achieved, when we step back. Her “Step Back philosophy” is appropriate not only for stepmothers . . . it is, in fact, a philosophy suitable to anyone who experiences the inevitable challenges of life.
“I want to say this to every stepmother: take it a little easier, try not to be so insistent, try not to have your desires dominate—and not just with the stepchildren, but with your husband, your family, your friends. The moment you step back from whatever it is that exasperates you, you get an unrestricted view of the situation—and you can take a breath before you move forward.”
Margit Bernard was born in Czechoslovakia; her comfortable childhood was interrupted when she became a refugee during the Russian occupation of her country in World War II. She has been a fashion model in London, a business owner in Los Angeles, and a corporate administrator in Paris. Ms. Bernard has a degree in Psychology from USC and serves on the Board of Directors of The Cotsen Foundation for The Art of Teaching. Ms. Bernard lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two Labrador Retrievers. She is the stepmother of seven, and stepgrandmother of 14. Step Back: A Stepmother's Handbook is her first book.
Developmental book editor Alexandra Leh brings to every project over 30 years of storytelling experience as a writer, actor, producer, and executive in network television development. She recently edited ONE TON GOLDFISH: IN SEARCH OF THE TANGIBLE DREAM by Houston-based artist and author Justin Garcia, and produces content for THE GEORGE BARNES LEGACY COLLECTION, a comprehensive multimedia property celebrating the life and music of the electric guitar pioneer and musical innovator. She co-wrote YASHKA, a feature screenplay based on the epic life story of Russian war heroine Maria Botchkareva. As an independent producer with Goldie Hawn's Cosmic Entertainment, Alexandra developed THE CANNABIS CLUB, a two-hour drama that explores the medical marijuana issue for HBO. Also with the Cosmic team, she developed THE HILL, a half-hour pilot based on the lives of DC interns for Showtime. STEP BACK: A STEPMOTHER'S HANDBOOK by Margit Eva Bernard is Alexandra's most recent work. Alexandra is a New York City native and lives in Downtown Los Angeles.
