Be strong, but not too strong so you don’t look manly.
Be confident, but not too confident because it makes you look bossy.
Love yourself, but not too much. It makes you vain and arrogant.
Don’t wear bright colors because wearing black makes you look thinner.
Wear your hair down, it makes you look more professional.
Two-word response.
Screw that! How many opinions are there for women to hear?
The seven women who collaborated in this book share the lessons they have learned from sport and where they found their strength and built their power.
They share their inner growth. Sport allows the physical and mental challenge through lessons of strength and capability. Although our experiences of strength through sport are different, we have a similarity of falling down, finding a path for growth and self-understanding.
Mine is a story of rebellion, depression, searching, then overcoming, and releasing.
I am a proud Filipino and it was time to break the mold on expectations and standards. Since I grew up not having a want to emulate anyone, I felt left to fend for myself. Searching and seeking a sense of personal identity. In my teens, though, I became a chameleon that changed my look through clothes, make-up, and interests. I people pleased every group and everyone. Underneath the unknowing and changes I was making in my self-expression, I yearned to play sport, and be considered an athlete.
Being a good Filipino daughter, I complied and kept my voice a small whisper. I felt held back and unable to be myself. These feelings and thoughts took me on the rollercoaster ride of waning self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. It became clear I wanted to deviate from being quiet, fragile, and submissive.
Conformity got old and boring.
I got tired of filling the usual checkboxes an Asian woman fulfills. I had enough of fitting the checkboxes. I did not fit any of the checkboxes because I wanted to make my own. I wanted to be physically strong and embrace what makes me... me. I searched for personal growth by experimenting with a lot of different activities and different people. It took learning from bad relationships with men, other people’s opinions of me, and expectations of society, for me to rebel and break down walls.
In the past, I understood fitness as only to benefit me physically. In reality, fitness was a double-edged sword of wanting to be strong but not get too strong because that is not how I should be seen.
It took the love of sport and movement for me to connect to the right mindset. Powerlifting lifted the weight of being unseen. It became the perfect balance of strength, expression, and connection. I was able to express myself physically, and grow mentally with the lessons powerlifting taught me.
It is unfortunate that society will continue to judge women using antiquated and patriarchal standards and centuries-old traditions. We are expected, as women, to follow with no hesitation.
It is time to change our role. My hope is that the next generation of women and girls see there are a variety of examples of strong women to choose from. Standing together, we can have a louder voice. We can have so much power when we go into the world together.
I honor these seven women who have shared their inspirational stories. Their courage and their tenacity allow doors previously closed due to fear of being heard or using their voice. Once one door of opportunity and community opens, there’s a possibility to open another door. These open doors allow others to begin their journey of knowing themselves and finding their strength. My hope is that you find wisdom, vision, courage, and a voice through the collective stories and Stand in your Strength and Unleash the Power you have inside of you.
Filipino American Power Lifter, Women's Strength Advocate, Author and Speaker, Laarni Mulvey, is the Founder of the Global Standing in Strength Movement. Her 15 years working in the sports industry allowed her to experience the capabilities of women's strength in sports and to observe perceptions of women's strength. This experience allowed her to channel her voice to focus on supporting women to harness the power in their Strength. Laarni uses her voice to bring about global change and awareness to disrupt the narrative surrounding the perception of women. Though she has a focus on women in sport, her message is to change the views of women and their capabilities. Known as 'The Power Lady' she encourages and leads women to honour themselves and build a powerful legacy for future generations. Creator of the Tools of Strength Programme, designed for use by both individuals and teams, Laarni is determined to build the connection of Strong Mind and Able Body the world over.
