Smitty's Guide to Interstellar Bartending (Paperback)
Ray Tabler
Sold by Grand Eagle Retail, Bensenville, IL, U.S.A.
AbeBooks Seller since 12 October 2005
New - Soft cover
Condition: New
Ships within U.S.A.
Quantity: 1 available
Add to basketSold by Grand Eagle Retail, Bensenville, IL, U.S.A.
AbeBooks Seller since 12 October 2005
Condition: New
Quantity: 1 available
Add to basketPaperback. Smitty just wanted a quiet night. Instead, he woke up strapped to a table on an alien spaceship, staring at two exhausted extraterrestrials whose memory-wipe machine had run out of juice. Now they have a problem. And Smitty, a wandering bartender with itchy feet and nothing to lose, has an opportunity.Dropped off at Goulaub Station-a crossroads space habitat teeming with spindly Breelo, purple hexapods, three-headed commuters, and one exceptionally cranky rock-skinned thug-Smitty needs a job, an air tag, and a way to stay ahead of the local law. What he really needs is a bar. Because if there's one thing the galaxy has in common with Earth, it's that everybody, everywhere, needs someone to listen while they complain about their boss, their spouse, and the price of alien beer.Armed with a lifetime of pouring drinks, an ear for human (and inhuman) nature, and a stubborn refusal to stay put, Smitty sets out to open the first Earth-style bar in known space. But between cutthroat competition, corrupt station officials, a soda monster, a jailbreak, and his very own revolution, running a bar in an interstellar port city turns out to be a lot more complicated than mixing A into B and stirring.Warm, witty, and packed with the barroom philosophy of a narrator who's seen it all-on Earth and beyond-this is a rollicking science fiction comedy in the tradition of Douglas Adams, John Scalzi, and Spider Robinson's Callahan's Place. Abducted by aliens and stranded on a space station, wandering bartender Smitty does the only thing he knows how - he opens a bar. A laugh-out-loud comic space opera about the galaxy's universal need for a decent drink. This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.
Seller Inventory # 9781969139772
Smitty just wanted to pour drinks and drift from town to town. Getting abducted by aliens? Not on the itinerary. But when a busted memory-wiper leaves two grumpy Martians with a very awake, very talkative human on their hands, Smitty talks his way off Earth and onto Goulaub Station — a crossroads space station orbiting a star that might go supernova any millennium now.
Stranded among tentacled commuters, stone-skinned muggers, and constables who charge you for the oxygen you breathe, Smitty does the only thing he knows how to do: he opens a bar. Because whether your customers have three heads or eyes on stalks, they still need somewhere to complain about their bosses, their spouses, and the price of a decent drink.
With help from an unlikely crew — and constant interference from rival lounges, corrupt officials, and the worst house band in the galaxy — Smitty mixes cocktails, dodges shakedowns, and stumbles into a revolution or two. Along the way he learns that running a bar in deep space involves a whole lot more than pouring A into B and stirring.
Equal parts Hitchhiker’s Guide whimsy and Cheers-style charm, this is a laugh-out-loud comic space opera about the universal need for a good pour, a listening ear, and a stool at the end of the bar. Aliens may have stone skin and memory-wipe fluid, but their troubles — lousy jobs, power-hungry bosses, and the hunt for a proper cocktail — will feel achingly, hilariously familiar.
Pull up a bar stool. The glassware’s polished. The cocktails are served. And if you’re lucky, you’ll miss the Hyperbolics’ setlist.
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