Sister-in-law free with wife is a comedy novel. Quick Dollars is a man who wants to earn dollars the easy way by fooling people. He has a servant name Cents. Quick Dollars gives Cents all the dirty work and problems of his life, who handles it in a comical way. Quick Dollars is trapped by a girl name Penny Wise. Quick Dollars marries Penny Wise by signing a document thinking he will get a sister-in-law free with his wife plus thousands of dollars. Penny Wise is a very cunning girl and she traps Quick Dollars to take care of her and her family. Penny Wise's family members are low down skunks. One after another, Penny Wise's family members come to visit Penny Wise and create havoc in Quick Dollars' life. Cents and Quick Dollars play tricks on them and drive the family members out of the house. Then Penny Wise thinks that she can't handle Quick Dollars, so she takes help of three ugly ladies who are their neighbors. The three ugly ladies, who are always hungry for dollars take help from a girl named Loose Knot to trap Quick Dollars in their web. The three ugly ladies and Loose Knot try to squeeze dollars out of Quick Dollars but.
Sister-in-law FREE with wife
By FAROKH RUSTOMJI KHARASAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 Farokh Rustomji Kharas
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4670-2459-4Chapter One
(The servant of the house Cents is cleaning the sofa in the living room, Cents is an African American, he is five feet six inches tall, he has black color curly hair, black eyes, friendly round face, he is wearing a white pant, white shirt, white vest jacket, he always sings a song while cleaning the furniture of the house, and then Cents sings)
"I came from Africa to New York to become a hero. Do some hard work and become hero. But the people of New York made me a zero. And turn me in to becoming a servant. Oh lord listens to my prayers and makes me a hero from zero?"
(Cents climbs on the center table and starts dancing, the owner of the house Quick Dollars comes there with a newspaper in his hand, and he is an American. Quick Dollars is five feet ten inches tall, he has brown hair that is combed backwards, blue eyes, well built, very handsome face, he is wearing a green cargo pant and a green lacoste t. shirt. Quick Dollars sees Cents dancing and then he asks him)
"Mr. Cents today you look more then happy! Somebody from your relatives has died or what?"
(Hearing this Cents stops dancing and gets down from the center table and then he says)
"Mr. Quick Dollars, why is that my relative has to die every time and not you're relative?"
"Because my last name is Dollars and your last name is Cents?"
"But my original name was Tommy? You Mr. Quick Dollars changed it to Cents?"
"I changed your name because Tommy resembles a dog's name?"
"A dog!"
"Yes a dog?"
"Oh! But why did you keep my name Cents?"
"Because Cents is so important to man in their lives."
"I never thought of that?"
"That is why I am Dollars and you are Cents?"
"I take back my words?"
"And you know that sometimes Cents is more important then Dollars?"
"How?"
"If you want to park your car you got to have Cents with you? You can't put a Dollar in the parking slot machine to park your car?"
"Yes! You are right?"
"And you want to travel by bus you got to have twenty-five cents ten coins with you? The bus does not accept Dollars?"
"Thank you so much for keeping my name Cents? I want to give you a hug?"
(Cents comes running towards Quick Dollars. Quick Dollars holds Cents With his hand and then Quick Dollars tells cents)
"Give me a hug some other time? I have just taken a bath"
"But you take a bath every day?"
(Quick Dollars gives a smile to Cents, then Quick Dollars tells Cents)
"You know I don't like anybody hugging me in the morning until I drink a cup of tea?
"Oh! I am really forgetful? I think my brain needs vitamins? Mr. Quick Dollars you should bring almonds for me?
"Look Mr. Cents right now my days are such that I can only afford peanuts?
"But peanuts makes me hot under the pants?
"Sometimes your logic is very stupid? Now get me a cup of tea and some biscuits."
"Biscuits are finished."
"Go to the store and get it?"
"We owe dollars to every store in this area?"
"Go to our neighbor Mr. Loan Bank's house and tell him to lend us some biscuits."
"But it is very difficult to explain to him that what I want? Mr. Loan Banks is deaf and dumb?"
"You go to his house and act like a dog, he will understand that you want his dog's biscuits."
"You are so clever?"
"Now go before he gives all the biscuits to his dog?"
(Mr. Cents goes away running, Quick Dollars sits on the sofa and then he opens the newspaper and reads the news)
"A woman gave divorce to her husband and the husband asks for compensations? I think that man must be my relative?"
(Quick Dollars moves his eyes down and then he reads an advertisement)
"Sister in-law free with wife! Two hundred and fifty for sister in-law and two hundred and fifty for the wife?"
(Quick Dollars is so happy that he gets up and jumps on the sofa and then he says)
"This is a lifetime opportunity for me? I must not lose any minute?"
(Quick Dollars looks again at the newspaper and then he reads)
"The phone number is 6466666666?"
(Quick Dollars looks here and there and then he says)
"Where is my mobile phone?"
(Cents comes with four long biscuits in his hand, Quick Dollars looks at the biscuits in the hands of Cents, he snatches the four biscuits from the hand of Cents and starts eating it, and then he asks Cents)
"Have you seen my mobile phone?"
"Mr. Quick Dollars you have a habit of taking the mobile phone to the washroom when you want to do number two."
"Oh!"
(Quick Dollars goes running, and then Cents asks himself)
"People take tea into the wash room to get clear and nice potty? I don't understand how Mr. Quick Dollars can get potty so quickly in the bathroom while talking on the mobile phone?"
(Quick Dollars comes with his mobile phone in his hand, and then he asks Cents)
"Oh I forgot to ask you that you came back so quickly with the biscuits?"
"I did not have to go inside the house of Mr. Loan Banks."
"Then how did you get biscuits?"
"I picked it up from the bowl of the dog lying outside the house of Mr. Loan Banks."
"What! You got me the biscuits of the dog that he had left in his bowl?"
"Yes so nice of the dog to do that?"
"Please get me a cup of tea?"
"But you did not say thank you to me for the biscuits I got you?"
"Thank you, next time please get the biscuits from the house of Mr. Loan Banks and not from the bowl of the dog?"
"Why the dog will feel bad?"
"Which you ask the dog next time when you go there?"
"Oh!"
(Cents goes away, Quick Dollars dials the number 6466666666 on his mobile and waits; from the other side he hears the words of a girl)
"Yes?"
"I am Mr. Quick Dollars, I have read your advertisement in the newspaper about sister in-law free with wife, two hundred and fifty for sister in-law and two hundred and fifty for the wife."
"So?"
"So I want to marry the girl?"
"Ok, your address?"
"Ninety-seven avenue house number twenty-five, one twenty four street, South Richmond Hill, New York, one, one, four, one, nine."
"Thank you, the girl will be at your house in twenty minutes"
(Quick Dollars switches off his mobile and then he says)
"They say that when god gives he gives it with both hands? Wife and sister in-law both to make love? Two Hundred and fifty plus two hundred and fifty? That is five hundred thousand dollars? My both hands will be in gravy?"
(Cents comes with a cup of tea and gives it to Quick Dollars, Quick Dollars takes the cup of tea and then he says)
"Now I will give you six months salary that I owe you?"
"This is the first good news I have heard in six months after I joined you as a servant?"
"And I am also going to give you a bonus of six months pay."
"Mr. Quick Dollars you are showing me stars in the daytime?"
(Quick Dollars gives the newspaper to Cents and then he tells him)
"Just read this advertisement and you will know that I am really showing you stars in the daytime?"
(Cents reads the advertisement)
"Sister in-law free with wife! Two hundred and fifty for sister in-law and two hundred and fifty for the wife?"
"I have already called them and I passed in the interview they took?"
"Oh! But how are you going to keep both wife and sister in-law?"
"I might pass one of them to you?"
"That means I'll be the owner of one lady?"
"She might be here any moment? So please get some chocolates and cakes?"
"Ok, give me money?"
"You will have to spend your money?
"My money?"
"But I will pay you back when I get those two hundred and fifty thousand dollars?"
"From last six months I am using my money, which I had earned from my last job?"
"You want to be my partner or not?"
"Partner!"
"There is a proverb? Give with one hand and take it back with other hand?"
"But from six months I am spending the money in this house with both my hands?"
"You don't trust me?"
"Well there are no other options left for me but to trust you? I'll get the chocolates and cakes."
"Get some soft drinks and milk also?"
(Cents voice within tells him)
{Cents you better run away fast or this motherfucker will tell you to get two more things}
(Then Cents goes away running. Quick Dollars sees Cents go out of the door, and then Quick Dollars says to himself)
"Every minute there is a fool born? Whoever said that must be a genius?"
(Cents goes inside a store, he sees Cannon Ball the owner of the store is standing behind the counter, he is an American, six foot tall, one inch golden hair on his head, black eyes like a hawk, very strong built, round chubby face, wearing a round neck black t. shirt written on the it "I am the boss", black color Bermuda shorts, Cents is very nervous even to talk to him, and then Cents voice within tells him)
{You have to make a fool of this rhino? God be with you?}
(Cents goes towards the counter he smiles and then he tells Cannon Ball)
"Good morning Mr. Cannon Ball?"
"What's so good about this morning?"
(Cents knows that Cannon Ball is in a bad mood today, Cents has a fixed smile on his face, he goes back from the counter and then he says)
"Sir, I am really jealous of you?"
(Angry expression comes on the face of Cannon Ball brings his head near Cents and then he asks him)
"Jealous of me! Why?"
(Cents goes back a little from the counter and then he says)
"Sir, when I see your personality, I look like I am born today?"
(Cannon Ball is happy; he comes out from behind his counter and gives a kiss on both the cheeks of Cents, and then Cents voice within tells him)
{This dog has licked you? He might even bite you?}
(Cannon Ball then hugs Cents which almost suffocates him, and then Cannon Ball says)
"Cents you are a nice person I like you very much?"
"Thank you sir, but if you don't leave me then ten more seconds I will become late Mr. Cents?"
(Cannon Ball leaves Cents, and then Cents smiles and says)
"Mr. Cannon Ball people say that if you want to be admired by others then you should have personality like Cannon Ball?
"Cents you have made my day"
"Sir today you also make my day?"
"Tell me how?"
"Today I want some chocolates, cakes, soft drinks and milk?"
"Help yourself."
"You will have to help me out today?"
"Will you make it clear?"
"My boss has got a disease called lost sense flu."
(Cannon Ball Scratches his head and then he thinks for five seconds and asks)
"Lost sense flu! Never heard of this disease?"
"Like bird flu? Like rogue flu? This is a new flu that has come in to my boss?"
"Oh! I am sorry about that?"
"The doctor has given the medicine, but he has told me to give him chocolates, cakes, soft drinks and milk."
"So take it?"
"All my boss dollars was spent on doctor's fees and medicine, now not a single dollar is left?"
(Cents brings tears to his eyes and then he says)
"Even my salary was spent for the medicine of my boss?"
"Oh! Look I trust you but I don't trust your boss who is more cunning then a fox."
"My word of honor, in eight days my boss will pay your bill?"
"Ok, take the stuff quickly otherwise the god might visit your boss and take him away forever?"
(Cents laughs and then he says)
"I hope your wish is granted?"
"My wish is granted! What do you mean?"
"I mean to say that what you said might become true?"
"Oh! First time I have seen a person care so much for his boss?"
"Sir I am like that, take me or leave me?
"If ever your boss kicks you out of his house? Remember that I will keep you here with me?"
(Cents voice within says)
{Cents Mr. Quick Dollar's kick will be bearable? But Cannon Ball's kick will burst your ass and make you fly like a ball?}
(Cents goes running and starts taking chocolates, cakes, soft drinks and milk from the selves, and then Cents goes on the counter and gives the stuff to cannon Ball and then he says)
"Mr. Cannon ball, I want to ask you one thing?
(Cannon ball starts putting the stuffs into two plastic bags and then he says)
"Be my guest?"
"Your name Cannon Ball fits your personality? Who gave you this lovely name?"
"In my childhood I used to use my head in knocking my enemies down, my family gave me this pet name Cannon Ball to me?"
"Some people knock down their enemies with their fists? But seeing your head I can understand why you use it to knock down your enemies?"
"Yes you are right, one knock from my head and a person had to be admitted to the hospital for eight days?"
"Oh! What did that person do that you knocked him down with your head?"
"That person was a liar and I hate liars?"
"Oh my god! If you knock down a person like me with your head then how many days a person like me will have to stay in the hospital?"
"That person like you won't be admitted to the hospital?"
"Why?"
"Because that person will have brain hemorrhage and die."
(Cents face turns pale, and then he says)
"Thank you so much for giving me the answer to my question."
(Cannon Ball hugs Cents, Cents is almost suffocated, and then Cents says)
"Your love is really suffocating! Please leave me so I can go home in one piece?"
"You have a great sense of humor?"
(Cannon Ball gives the two plastic bags to Cents and then Cents takes the two bags and says)
"Thank you?"
(Cannon Ball leaves Cents and then Cents with the two plastic bags in his hand goes out of the store running)
(Woodpecker is a beggar; Woodpecker is five feet nine inches tall, beige color shoulder length hair, brown eyes, heavily built, round face, wearing a black suit, black shoes, he is an American, Woodpecker sees a lady and then he goes near her and tells her)
"Madam, my good name is Woodpecker, I have not eaten food for the last two days? Please spare me two dollars?"
(Madam looks at Woodpecker from head to toe, and then she tells Woodpecker)
"From your body it looks like you have eaten two days advance food?"
"Madam my body is just full of air?"
"Air! Please see your suit? I am not able to buy my husband a single suit since we married?"
"A friend of mine died two days back and his wife gave me his suit to wear."
"I should tell my husband to start a begging business? It seems profitable?"
"You really remind me of my late wife?"
(The lady spits on the road and goes away, and then Woodpecker says)
"She would have decently said no to my proposal? Spitting on a person is insulting?"
(Cents comes there with two plastic bags in his hands, Woodpecker sees him and then he says)
"Hey Mr. Cents, would you mind if I put my hand inside your bags?"
"Mr. Woodpecker every food item in this bag is on loan? You know my boss? He even charges interest on food items?"
"Oh! You are right? Your boss is a bigger miser then me? But please tell him that I am going to North Carolina day after tomorrow by early morning flight, so please give me back the five thousand dollars I had given him for safekeeping?"
(Cents voice within says)
{Cents this beggar is going to fly by plane to North Carolina? And your boss cannot even afford a taxi fare?}
(Cents smiles and then he asks woodpecker)
"Mr. Woodpecker you are going to North Carolina by plane! May I ask that you are going to North Carolina for begging?"
(Woodpecker puts his dirty hand on the shoulder of Cents and then he tells him)
"Mr. Cents a marriage proposal has come for me from North Carolina, so I am going for my marriage to North Carolina by plane?"
"Oh! Your name must be on the higher list of beggars for you to get a marriage proposal from North Carolina?"
"Well word goes around that I am a clever beggar so the beggar association chief of North Carolina wants me to marry his daughter?"
(Cents voice within says)
{Mr. Woodpecker must have at least four black moles on his balls that's why he is so lucky?}
(Cents looks at the balls of Woodpecker and then he says)
"Mr. Woodpecker do you have black moles on your balls?"
(Woodpecker is so surprised that he takes his hand away from the shoulder of Cents, and then Woodpecker asks Cents)
"You asked me if I have black moles on my balls! Why?"
"Because my voice within told me that those who have black moles on their balls are very lucky in life?"
(Woodpecker laughs and sits down on the road, and then he says)
"Mr. Cents your voice within is right, I have eight black moles on my balls"
"But my voice within told me that Mr. Woodpecker have four black moles on his balls?"
"Your voice within only saw four black moles on the front of my balls? But I have four more black moles on the inside of my balls"
"Eight black moles on your balls! You are a lucky bastard Mr. Woodpecker?"
(Woodpecker gets up from the road and then again puts his dirty hand on the shoulder Cents and then he tells him)
"You are really funny Mr. Cents? Let me kiss you?"
(Cents moves away from Woodpecker and then he says)
"Mr. Woodpecker if you kiss me then what will the people says?"
"That I love you very much?"
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Sister-in-law FREE with wifeby FAROKH RUSTOMJI KHARAS Copyright © 2012 by Farokh Rustomji Kharas. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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