This brand-new inspiring read from author and speaker, Elizabeth Oates, is written for women who have struggled with self-worth and self-esteem. Whether you've grown up in a dysfunctional family or simply have bought into the lies sold by today's media, If You Could See as Jesus Sees promises hope. . .joy. . .a life of purpose. . .and more, while offering you a brand-new look at just who your Savior created you to be in this world. As you begin to see yourself through the lens of the Master Creator--through His lens of beauty, love, forgiveness, and mercy--you will begin to feel differently about yourself. A true life-changer!
If You could See as Jesus Sees
Inspiration for a Life of Hope, Joy and Purpose
By Elizabeth OatesBarbour Publishing, Inc.
Copyright © 2016 Elizabeth Oates
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-63409-512-9Contents
Note to Group Leaders,
Introduction,
1. My Lens of Self-Loathing, His Lens of Love,
2. My Lens of Ugliness, His Lens of Beauty,
3. My Lens of Shame, His Lens of Redemption,
4. My Lens of Incompetence, His Lens of Talent,
5. My Lens of Inadequacy, His Lens of Acceptance,
6. My Lens of Isolation, His Lens of Belonging,
7. My Lens of Discontentment, His Lens of Generosity,
8. My Lens of Burden, His Lens of Blessing,
9. My Lens of Fear, His Lens of Bravery,
10. My Lens of Condemnation, His Lens of Forgiveness,
Appendix A: As Jesus Sees ... Me,
Appendix B: The Fallacy of Inadequacy,
Appendix C: God's Provisions,
Appendix D: If We Could Forgive and Not Forget,
Notes,
CHAPTER 1
My Lens of Self-Loathing, His Lens of Love
I remember it vividly. I was in the fourth grade, sitting in a store dressing room with my mom, tears flowing uncontrollably.
"What is wrong?" she asked in bewilderment. One minute we were happily shopping; the next minute I sat in a heap, unable to move or talk. Unfortunately, there were too many problems to articulate. I didn't even know where to begin.
Should I start with the fact that I felt fat? Or that I didn't fit in at school? I was, after all, at my third elementary school in two years. Maybe it was the beginning of raging hormones or the stress of living in a single-parent home. Or maybe it was the perfect storm of all of the above. My life simply felt out of control, and I didn't know how to articulate it at the young age of ten. All I knew was, at that very moment, I hated myself.
For the most part, I pulled out of it. Or so I thought. I masked my insecurities by becoming an overachiever who racked up more good grades and extracurricular activities than Taylor Swift has Grammys.
From the outside, my life looked pristine. Yet on the inside, I constantly wrestled with feelings of self-loathing and self-doubt. Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Thin enough? Good enough? Successful enough? Am I ever enough? And if I am enough, then enough for whom? Myself? My family? My teachers? My friends? My world? My God?
I have a hunch that I am not alone in this struggle. I think most women — from ages ten to one hundred — wrestle with feelings of inadequacy, doubt, worthlessness, hopelessness, and maybe even self-loathing at some point in their lives. We scorn our bodies, our faces, or our hair. Maybe we even dislike ourselves at our core: our personalities, our gifts, our talents, and our souls. So we spend days, if not years, comparing ourselves to our friends or media celebrities and daydreaming about a different life.
Eventually we morph into an existence vaguely similar to ourselves, yet not quite us. We dress like our friends or emulate what we see in InStyle magazine. We change our appearance through plastic surgery. We alter our behavior to please others. Before we know it, we are just an empty shell of our true selves, mere imposters of the women God created.
Why Do We Resent Ourselves?
We must ask, "Why do we resent ourselves?" and "From where does this self-loathing stem?" Why did I sit in that dressing room at age ten crying tears of intense emotional pain? The details vary from girl to girl, from woman to woman. Yet, for each of us, a common thread weaves through our stories: the gran
