SEARCHING

    Beyond

    Beyond our seeing,
    Hearing, smelling,
    Tasting and touching;
    Beyond our word,
    Thought, and choosing:
    Beyond our imagining,
    Dreaming and doing ...

    Beyond our dancing,
    Frolic, family, work and play
    And our own special way.
    Beyond our creating,
    Love and hating;
    Beyond living and dying each day ...

    Beyond our art,
    Our poetry and storytelling;
    Beyond our rituals,
    Devotion and prayer.
    Beyond consciousness,
    Transcendent meditations,
    Which take us elsewhere ...

    Beyond, beyond, beyond
    Somewhere, everywhere,
    Yet beyond
    In the void of that empty place
    So singularly rare.
    Passionately
    Incomprehensibly
    Intimately
    Within
    I will meet you there!


    Oh My God (OMG)

    I am weary of searching for you, my God;
    My longing is my energy's worst enemy.
    I have prayed and danced.
    I have been reverent and cynical
    Like a devil with a halo.

    I have had tidal waves of enlightenment,
    Pitch black dark nights of the soul,
    And days of harmony and days of boredom.
    I am tired of hide and seek.

    Merciful grace has been poured into
    The beautiful basin of my soul,
    Miraculously spilling over the top
    While holes in the bottom are always emptying, emptying!

    I have seen us on the mountaintop,
    Oh the magnificence of Thee.
    With time however I collapse into
    Forgetting all that we could be.

    I give up I will say no more; I will listen not!
    I am like the still rubber ball forgotten by children,
    Growing mold upon my surface
    And lying in the deep damp green grass.

    Oh My God!
    I am in the air again ...
    Flying!


    God Let Go

    God let go.
    Rupturing, exploding
    From God's own light.
    Stars twinkled
    In the dark of night.
    Bluest blue filled
    The endless ocean,
    The boundless horizon.
    God let go
    Of the burning sun:
    Yellows and reds,
    Unfathomable light
    Shattered into rainbows,
    Warmth and delight.
    From God's wholeness
    In furious flight,
    God created
    Discerning light.

    God let go
    From silence to sound.
    Waves pounded,
    Thunder rolled
    Lightning cracked,
    Children laughed
    Birds chirped and
    People cried.
    Lions roared,
    Rockets soared,
    Water leaked
    And mice squeaked.

    And that still quiet
    Inner voice
    Broke
    The sound barrier
    Of our soul.

    God let go
    From stillness
    Birthing
    Moving, living, growing,
    Ever changing anew.
    Seeds sprouted eagerly
    Out of the ground.
    Insect and animal
    Human being abound.
    And, in the letting go,
    Creating all we
    Have come to know.

    God let go.
    Of forgiveness.
    Betrayals of our freedom.
    Transforming our choices
    Evil or good.
    Restoring us always
    To forgotten nobility,
    Inalienable beauty.
    God let go
    Of Mercy and
    Love!


    Nursing Mother God

    The Child:
    Do not wean me
    Mother God
    From your tender breast,
    Let me suckle
    Till the end
    Of my day.
    Let me be dependent
    In an obvious way.
    Spare me
    Doubt,
    Risk,
    Daring,
    And giving.
    In other words
    Spare me living!
    Be present and warm
    And close and safe.
    Please
    Do not wean me
    From your tender breast.

    Mother God:
    Dear Child Be
    conscious
    And wake up!
    Do not nod off;
    Rise up and be!
    You are not me.
    I set you down
    Upon your feet

    To walk free!
    Move quickly,
    Go forward,
    Respond,
    Live life,
    Experience you, and create.

    I let you go
    To be – to grow.
    I wean you
    To tell your own life story;
    Therein lies a mother's glory.

    Life –
    Touch it,
    Savor it,
    Enter into it and expand.
    Doubt and dare;
    Risk and challenge.
    Be bold,
    Give and lose,
    Love and hate.
    Rather I free you
    To give generously of
    Your own milk of life and love,
    To be, all that We can be.


    Tiny Words of Love

    Tiny toddler girl
    Rises from her slumber.
    The early morning light
    Pierces through the edges
    Of her window shades.
    She gathers her teddy,
    Her blankie, her pacifier.
    She toddles to the hallway window,
    Her head held high in hope.
    Her large brown eyes scan
    The cars below to see
    If her mama has gone to work
    For this day.

    Her curly topped head
    Drops in resignation.
    Disappointed in her tiny heart,
    She moves slowly
    To find another
    Who can never equal her.
    She for whom she longs,
    To fill her day with love.
    The little girl's living and loving
    Is redirected
    By someone else for another day.
    "Mama mama" she whispers,
    Her tiny, tiny words of love.

    God of Light
    Illuminating gradually
    With gentle
    Ultimate innocence.
    You call it the dawn.
    You sit in anticipation
    Of some small utterance:
    A tiny word of gratitude
    For a still beating heart,
    Food for breakfast,
    A secret to hold in confidence,
    The sun that brightens,
    The rain that quenches
    The thirst of the earth.
    Like your thirst, Oh God
    For words spoken to You,
    Your love is so vast,
    So deep, so complete.

    You listen hopefully,
    Scanning, ever scanning,
    Waiting, ever waiting,
    Longing, ever longing,
    For a moment of newly created dawn.
    To fill empty moments, mute stillness
    With little recognition,
    Caring or attention.
    Your lonely outpouring of Love.
    Your longing will never be
    Redirected or pacified.
    You wait eternally, patiently
    For tiny, tiny words of
    love.


    Come With Me

    Using silence as the mode of my transportation,
    I have traveled to that boundless place.
    Past the soft sensual sand beneath my feet,
    Past the song of ocean wave in my ear,
    Beyond the color and perfume of flowers-
    Delicate, fragile, fragrant blooms of my garden.
    Away from the mountain's clear and fresh air
    Cleansed by trees of elegant standing.
    Children delighting in butterflies
    Past happy times of simple fun.
    Dancing in shadows cast by the sun
    Away from brilliant inspiration,
    Understandings and moments of care.
    Beyond opening up and becoming aware.

    Oh come with me – come with
    me And pull me back when I long to stay.
    This still and silent place of mysterious love
    For which I would give life's breath away.


    Imagery Meditation

    Deep in meditation,
    I am witnessing Jesus transfigured on the mountaintop,
    And His clothes become dazzling white.
    My desire heightens to transfigure along with Him.
    I respond; my yearning creates movement
    With electrifying speed.
    This is my Beloved.
    Listen to (her)!
    I experience being one, the one, the Beloved!
    I drink in the dazzling light.
    Conscious enlightenment!
    I feel such joy, such consolation,
    And then – I remember, or do I forget?
    Sweet life in time,
    Sweet heartbeat of mine.
    In between I speak: "Draw me ever forward to You
    Oh divine light and love."

    I hold firm: I stop: I resist,
    I seem not ready, yet I am lured on.
    My soul aware, he is consuming me
    Divine union, moment divine.
    My timelessness away from time.
    I choose to return to
    Forgetfulness and fear.
    Am I not yet awake?
    Ah! Yet I will cherish the memory,
    And someday I will give up the treasures of here
    For the treasures of there.
    Or are they the same?
    For I am here
    When I am there!


    The One Breath of God

    There is but one breath,
    The eternal breath of God.
    It resides in that still space
    That lies between
    Your breath in and your breath out.
    It is like dead air caught between two windows.
    That moment before
    A moan of ecstasy.
    The welling up from the deep earth
    Before wailing begins.
    It is the eye of the hurricane,
    Tranquil, static, exciting, threatening, challenging.
    It is the seventh wave,
    A space which might present someone
    With a chance?
    To make something different:
    An intention to create,
    A change,
    An outcome of goodness.
    This breath comes not from the lungs
    But from the heart.
    A heart, that chooses to breathe
    In harmony with
    The one breath of God!


    Where Are You God

    Where are you God,
    Untouchable, unseen Mystery?
    I look for the sun,
    But it is night.
    I see windows filled with steam
    That keep the clouds from sight.
    Oil and tree roots
    That I know are there,
    Buried deep under, somewhere.
    You are there, yet where, oh where?

    Where are you God
    Who eludes me so?
    If I were to cut out my spirit
    I would surely die.
    That spirit which I know and feel is there.
    Filled with intense longing
    Unrelenting, restless
    Wanting and yearning
    Always for you.
    Oh so curious, so mysterious
    This be-longing to You!
    This oh so visible
    Brilliantly resplendent
    Union of love, I have with you.

SEARCHING IN NATURE

    Tree of Life

    It is not because I have lost faith in your teachings
    Or have abandoned the openness and ardor of my youth.
    I was but a root with one small branch blowing in the wind.
    I acknowledged that you were my source and I would survive
    Both the rodent called the devil and the occasional rage of
    storms.
    I was dependent on you and turned to you for
    Every moment of suffering and grief I endured.
    I begged you for release and relief,
    And you poured upon me sunshine
    Along with the rain. With the leaves of my past
    I was nourished and encouraged and supported.
    One day the elements no longer seemed to affect me.
    It was as though I was not like a tree;
    I was a tree! The tree of You and me.
    Finally standing so tall, seemingly reaching to the sky
    I began to see as You saw,
    And all around me was such lavish and beautiful abundance!
    My beliefs I shed like my leaves in the fall.
    For they were based upon my vulnerability
    And fears of being small. Now the power within my
    Branches, fastens and holds
    The ripening of my fruit,
    The deliciousness of gratitude,
    The widening of my understanding,
    The inclusiveness of my view,
    The knowing of my purpose,
    The blessing of knowing You
    In all the stages of my becoming.
    You were raising me up
    To recognize, that the rings within me
    Were always You. I was your purpose,
    My purpose was You!
    You invite me now come
    Come as one to celebrate the harvest!


    Love in Vermont

    In the stillness
    Of the pitch dark night
    I approach,
    Sleepy and vulnerable,
    To experience
    This silent beauty
    Of glimmering snowflakes
    Gracefully
    Free falling.

    I feel youthful passion
    Awakened from frozen time.
    Intense and tender ardor
    Satisfy and warm my soul.
    Ah, beautiful wonder,
    In your nocturnal silence
    You humble me.
    I reverence thee
    Breathlessly!

    From the swelling of my heart
    I speak in deepest adoration.
    How I love you, deepest shimmering mystery.
    As the snow caresses me,
    Gently tasting and touching my lips,
    Within the serene, stark stillness I hear
    "I love you too."


    Choice

    I sit and stare
    At the crusted snow.
    Sunshine glares;
    Making ice caps aglow.

    I long to make footprints
    That shift and crack open
    New possibilities
    In this vision.

    Ah, but it is dangerous,
    Ever such a slippery step.
    What if I fall before I even begin?
    Will I step out again?
    Is the shift too bold, the crack too new?
    Is the design uncertain?
    Will its possible change
    Be as grand as before?

    Yet if I go and lead the way,
    Others might follow,
    Making new their own design
    And generating new possibilities.

    All that was
    Will be as new.
    I create with awareness
    Of everything I can do.

    I gaze carefully
    Within my soul.
    As I always do, whenever I feel
    Aglow with choice!


    Falling Leaves

    The year is beginning to come to an end
    I ponder memories, as I walk in the glen.
    Dipping temperatures, a shivering look
    To review memories in my open book.

    Pages of feelings about past events,
    Kicking leaves, jolting where energy was spent.
    Emotional sensitivity I wish to fall away
    Those hearty green leaves of yesterday.

    I soul search things I feel guilty for
    On a carpet of crackling crispy floor.
    These stories and thoughts I have carefully weaved
    I now notice it is what I have come to believe.

    I have carried them around like this big heavy tree
    And now that I look they are painful for me.
    If I truly wish to be all I can be
    I must shed deadly beliefs, like these falling leaves.


    The Source

    Imagine me as a bottomless hidden lake
    Embedded in the highest heavenly mountain top.
    Misty, shadowy clouds forming around,
    Longing to embrace me.

    I collect every raindrop
    And snowflake which falls into my azure blue.
    I trickle outward,
    Here, there,
    Endlessly, generously
    Giving bountiful water
    For life.

    To strolling streams and
    Bubbling brooks,
    Rolling rivers and, lazy lakes,
    Water-holes and waterfalls,
    Marshes and wetlands,
    Prairies and wastelands,
    Forest and woodlands,
    Farmlands and orchards,
    Fields and gardens, every wet and dry surface.
    Reservoirs, recesses formed in the ground,
    Of this mighty thirst quenching earth.

    Every single moment
    Of every single day,
    I flow.
    To big, open cupped hands
    And pitchers, cups and basins carried on one's head.
    To bottles, bowls and barrels.

    Leather skins and bird baths
    For feathered wings.
    Oh the joy I give
    Watering living things.

    There is only one thirst to quench:
    The longing and yearning of Every
    living being-
    Earth's family bonded by creation-
    Related through
    This unifying simple basic need.
    This swishing drain of my compassionate
    Equalizing necessity,
    A symbol for all to see, with every knowing eye!

    Go now, gather all creatures of the earth,
    And all pieces and particles
    Joined and fixed by this force,
    For this vital essential water of life!

    Blow the trumpets,
    Sound the tambourine.
    Gather all to give pristine gratitude!
    Expose and espouse this enlightenment
    That all IS one!
    Hold high the sacred basin.
    Have all sing and dance
    To the rhythm of the falling rain.
    This splashing, soaking, drenching music of life.
    Welcome all to the table Mother Nature has set,
    For this, this water is ME!
    I am the Source; I am this wet and wonderful stuff of life!


    The Secret

    I speak:
    Oh lovely flower,
    Exquisite mystery
    Singularly stunning
    Please whisper a secret to me.
    The flower speaks:
    I was a tiny seed
    Planted in rich dark desire.
    Our ritual dance in springtime
    That lights a heart afire.
    Connecting with deep grounded need,
    I lie in earthly bedding for a seed to aspire.
    Lovers longing only to feed
    What nature is designed to heed.

    When you decided to create,
    I let go; I chose my fate.
    Embedded in this nesting place,
    Lovers in a passionate embrace.
    I became engaged in a cosmic race,
    A climax only described as grace!
    Thriving, growing without asking why,
    Breaking my shell with an enormous sigh,
    I stretched joyfully toward the sky.
    Beginning to sprout, beginning to grow
    Strengthening, dreaming, and getting to know.
    How nurturing can bring to a glow
    The joy of letting it all go slow.
    Nature is constant; abundance will flow.

    Back and forth of caring and giving,
    Sometimes failing, then forgiving
    Discoveries of truly living.
    Nothing seems to be forbidden;
    Patterns revealed, some still hidden!

    Growing often thrives on a little teasing;
    Progress only thwarted through self-treason.
    Feeling longing for no other reason,
    Passionately responding, never ceasing,
    Budding and blossoming in the proper season.

    I will exist in time, and you will see
    That which I am meant to be,
    And if you speak clearly what it is you see
    You will give witness to the glory of me.
    Treat me gently; take care of me.
    Beauty is our shared destiny
    Forever in God's memory.


    To Be

    Has the soil refused the seedling in the spring?
    Have the insects gone on strike about things?
    Or the birds quit and no longer sing?
    Have animals quit doing their thing?

    Only humans question what to do
    Or argue about how it should be.
    Imagining other ways to see,
    And making mistakes to be ever more free.

    Like the soil and the seedling,
    The song of the birds,
    Our joy is in living
    Where we are meant, to simply be!