This collection of poetic musing covers many years of life events. Since retirement from Simpson University, California, Dr. Tarr has spent much of the past decade in counseling homeless individuals and in volunteer work with Vitas hospice patients. Some of these experiences may be noticed in a few writings. Several poems were previously published in "Appalachian Chains of Life and Love," McClain Book Publisher, Parsons, West Virginia, 1980. With the exception of the trilogies, each poem stands alone and should not be considered as connecting events. The Preface reads - The loss of a friend is often traumatic. Even when the parting is foreseen and the reasons are understood, the vacuum still creeps in and wants to linger. Not all separations are final, but even the temporary lack of sharing life with another can wear upon us - dusting a vacated room of the first-married child; sipping morning coffee alone as you stare at the empty, neighbor's house; driving past the old deserted elementary school; sorting through grandmother's pictures after the funeral. Absence may "make the heart grow fonder" but offers little consolation. Memories of the past wrapped in faith for the future can give warmth to the coldest doubter. True friendships are never lost if they remain framed upon the memory and the negatives are kept for new prints.
Scattered Negatives and Unframed Pictures
poetic musingBy David E. TarrAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2009 David E. Tarr
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4490-2366-9 Contents
Dedication.....................................................................................................................................................................................................viiIntroduction...................................................................................................................................................................................................ixPREFACE Recall, Silent Sentinel, Lonely, Permission, Nothing Lost, The Sweetest Music, Buck on the Run, Perspective...........................................................................................xiTRILOGY OF WAR (I)Winter Draft, (II) Mother's Token, (III) Father's Lament, Distance, Adulterated, Simple Prayer, Holiday Haunts, Misty Manuscript, Finding Strength, Deflectors of Gloom.....................13LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS Simplicity, Love Growth, Love Defined, When Love Dies, Kisses That Tell, Sea Symbol.....................................................................................................25HE WHO DOUBTS Sterile Soul, Birth of Reality, Song in the Darkness, Caring, Unanchored, Anxiety, Fear at Dusk.................................................................................................33TRILOGY OF LIFE (I)Sounds, (II) Rhyme, (III) Coda Now Is All, Preying, Roadblocks, Eternity, Direction, Agony of Farewell, One, Souvenirs.....................................................................42DO NOT CAST OFF IN OLD AGE Aging Mother, Old Man Dexter, Aunt Jeannie, Valley Glow, Offspring, Ode to Black Rosie, Winged Athlete, Remember Mama..............................................................55TRILOGY BY THE SEA (I)Sea Hunt, (II) Sand Scripts, (III) Moon Maiden...........................................................................................................................................71TO EVERYTHING A SEASON Sunrise, Sunday Snow, Riverside, Spring Soother, Life of Summers, Autumn Euphoria, Signs of Fall, Fall Parade, Winter King.............................................................75WHEN STRENGTH FAILS Blurred Vision............................................................................................................................................................................89TRILOGY OF DEATH (I)Watching, (II) Waiting, (III) Departing, Folly, Hearing Tragic News, Yearning, Nostalgia..................................................................................................92ENDNOTES To Begin Again, Moving On............................................................................................................................................................................99ABOUT THE AUTHOR...............................................................................................................................................................................................103
Chapter One
Trilogy of War
I
Winter Draft '42
Inside lusting flames lick the logs Outside icicles drip tears.
Hot and cold flash into moody frustration.
Kidnapped from family and the familiar Summons held in clenched fist he marches off to war.
II
Mother's Token
She fumbled the telegram handed her by two uniformed giants.
They left her alone with official words and a gold star for the window.
Must mothers be as valiant receiving their medals As sons falling in another world?
III
Father's Lament
And so he died - lent from my loins to slaughter Sacrificed to the god of peace In vain attempt to settle the woes of mankind.
"Forgive me, my love - spawning this sorrow into your life not knowing that our fruit Would be scattered seedless before ripening."
Distance
Your hat's on the door my son waiting to be retrieved cast into the sky rolled by the water's edge and cradled behind your forelocks.
Your hat's on the door my son growing musty from the stagnant air fading slightly from the morning sun as it passes by briefly each day.
Your hat's on the door my son waiting to be retrieved not knowing the agony of distance and time that lay between.
Adulterated
White the beginning hue Untinted and untainted by red of hatred purple of rage green of envy gray of war Is beyond view.
A Simple Prayer
Lord don't give Mountains without strength for climbing or Valleys without vision to see the Mountains.
Holiday Haunts
Holidays haunt amid the gaiety Reverting the memory to past purgatories - carved notches that nag When the punch is passed.
Misty Manuscript
Pulse rates ritard and fears diminish With the rhythm of raindrops on the roof.
Staccato beats blend Past securities of wraparound porches Into melodic mists.
Finding Strength
Dressed in shiny polyester suits and dangling earrings The zealots shout, "Glory, Lord!" I hear You whispering among the fresh violets tucked between the dandelions.
Loudly across the land New pharisees praise your name. I think of You quietly when walking through the pines.
Huddled together they plead "Give us power, Lord." I find strength being alone in Your creation.
Deflectors of Gloom
An unexpected visit from a friend,
The surprise party,
A slit of sunray through the storm,
- a child's faint smile returning from coma.
[Love] Bears all things, Believes all things, Hopes all things, Endures all things.
I Corinthians 13:7
Simplicity
Life is simple where there is love.
Dishes wash quicker the hammer lifts lighter and the iron glides over the linens where there is love.
Whistling and crying come easily where there is love.
Love Growth
Planting seeds of love is not enough.
Weeds creep in and the rush of life overflows its bank Choking and drowning Fragile growth.
Daily the heart must protect
The life of love.
Love Defined
Love requiring no response Is the true test of Love.
When Love Dies
When a child dies the angels weep.
If a bride is stricken all lovers feel empathy.
Soldiers fall dead and cities erect monuments.
Old men go to sleep and clans regroup to chat about the bier.
But when love dies the universe grieves in silence.
Kisses That Tell The kiss blown from hospital door tells the truth she cannot speak Returning his world to sterile white.
Her kisses moving from parched lips to sunken cheeks fevered forehead then to doorway
Reveal the reality they both know.
Alone he wants her lips returned to his longing to part as lovers not strangers.
Sea Symbol
The tide had washed the face of earth and was returning home. Early morning breezes took turns cleansing the air.
They walked northward toward eternity with Blue Pacific at their side.
The symbol rose quietly without asking. A beautiful perfect cowrie shell lay for the taking. Neither questioned who saw it first No matter - it was theirs!
Caressing the speckled polished coat While running sandy fingers through its teeth Love and life seemed eternal.
Often he thinks of that morn the breeze sand her face And the love found in a cowrie shell.
He who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed with the wind
James 1:6
Sterile Soul
Caught in a vacuum of doubt The soul, sterile, shrivels like a diseased organ.
Hallelujahs echo faintly from the past As disbelief slanders the promises.
Birth of Reality
Locked on icon walls of tradition Framed in stained glass of human fancy Remained God until His own child burst from the womb Revealing reality shaped by HIS hand.
Song in the Darkness
In soundless spaces of night When a mute nightingale hides with the day's burden Search for a song.
If sunbaked memories and moon-encircled dreams Become overshadowed by blackened skies Grope for a song.
As life reaches September and the day grows shorter - the night longer Find your song in the darkness.
Caring
Do you know that He watches with love caring As you drift through life scattering yourself In a thousand directions seldom towards Him?
Unanchored
Riding the winds of time with Shifting faith and Aimless drifting he Never asks, "Where's the One Who ruled wind and sea when He walked this path before me?"
Anxiety
Summer's cool evening breezes sink deep within Dusk creeps over the valley.
Silence breaks when far-off birds sing their closing canticles Cattle on hillsides have little concern for coming darkness.
Anxiety is nowhere except within us restless, plotting mortals.
Fear at Dusk
If I should die before you wake You'll never know what grief was mine trying to find you.
If you should die before I wake What a pity that you didn't call out or touch my hand.
And to never know would be a greater tragedy When we're just a whisper apart.
Trilogy of Life
I Sounds
Whispers tossed on the wind echo endlessly.
Shouts locked in empty rooms and yellowed diaries
Remain inaudible to those who never find the key.
Trilogy of Life
II Rhyme
And the big man cries "I'm the best one alive" In a sing-song rhythm since he was five.
He's afraid to stop as he sings in the dark "See what I've done and the things I've got."
The continuous rhyme flows from the cradle to his Maker Avoiding any cadence so he won't be found naked.
Trilogy of Life
III Coda
The tune has stopped but the vibs go on Weaving and winding around strings unstrung.
A sounding board refusing to crack Reverberates melodies from eons past.
Now is All
Touch me now with warmth and Press your soul against mine.
You being here is the greatest gift I can enjoy.
And now is all we've ever had.
Not looking back or searching ahead The present becomes eternal.
Preying
What a creation in which to create -
Creature after creature eating away creatures created by the same Creator.
Roadblocks
Look'em up on the map.
There is a road to WAR (west virginia) And another to HELL FOR CERTAIN (kentucky) Many people live on the road to PROSPERITY (pennsylvania) But ROADBLOCKS are uncharted.
Who is it who decides who or what gets stuck in the atlas?
Eternity
Beyond This SUNRISE Lies the rest Nothing can stop it Not even SUNSET.
Direction
Run westward chasing the sun Beg to relive the hour before it falls Darkened forever and swallowed by the present.
Sunset rays coloring the past Entice foolish clutching at moments ended.
Rather face eastward Catching the first beam of tomorrow.
Agony of Farewell
With many goodbyes and few hellos When will we ever get to know each other?
Why is every parting much more memorable Than all the greetings totaled together?
The joy of meeting never seems to balance The agony of farewell and gets lost in the count.
One
Adrift in the world catching at others passing by to share a moment a song while Spinning within a galaxy of souls Suddenly one touches Leaving eternal imprints.
Souvenirs
Every hour with you has become a souvenir to hang on memory walls
To relive as I pass through the corridors.
Do not cast me off in the time of old age
Psalm 71:9
Aging Mother
Growing smaller beside him Hands less firm in his grasp Thoughts clogging when uttered She remains.
Faking contentment about her Reaching harder if needed Hearing more than spoken He withdraws.
Old Man Dexter
With a horse named Fred and dilapidated buggy dubbed Chariot Old man Dexter raced down the hill defying the world, his archrival.
Cursing kids and unexpected ruts to cash in his weekly collection of junk Old man Dexter raced down the hill defying the world, his archrival.
Darting dogs, stray cats and motor-driven competitors aiming his chariot to conquer all Old man Dexter raced down the hill defying the world, his archrival.
On a rainy Friday in August the race ended Old man Dexter was carried down the hill conquered.
Aunt Jeannie
Don't swing on the gate bring the hollyhock dolls fistfuls of violets and dandelions Up to the back door.
Hope she's in with pennies in her mason jar to buy wilting flowers Squeezed lifeless in tiny clutches.
Aunt Jeannie loved flowers -so she said a penny or two for a bunch paid with a big hug And long, slippery kisses.
Slyly she was played for an old fool selling her flowers at the back door freshly picked From her own front stoop!
Callow kids never suspected that their hugs and kisses (not flowers) were being sold To lonely Aunt Jeannie.
Valley Glow
In a valley where clouds often rest upon the mountain slopes Months have slipped into years since separated by a comatose wall.
As he tends to her with fresh vigor Her vacant smile wanders back toward him.
With little hope of response His aimless chatter belies a grateful debt to former times.
Amber tones of a fading day cast shadows across the room Suddenly she utters his name softly.
His face glows, believing.
Offspring
Turn your back and they creep away. Without notice they're gone leaving a silence that is deafening - crows screeching above the deserted tree house, a music box dutifully singing its only tune to an empty playroom, a mute trumpet sitting forgotten on the laundry shelf listening to redundant rhythms of the washer.
Where was I when they slipped out? I don't remember looking away.
Now they send their own offspring taunting me with walking talking images of the past.
Cautiously feasting my eyes on these replicas
I can't look back fearing that they too will creep away.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Scattered Negatives and Unframed Picturesby David E. Tarr Copyright © 2009 by David E. Tarr. Excerpted by permission.
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