The Resilient Woman: Revised and Expanded

Women of all ages want to make others happy—it's just in a woman's nature, isn't it? But what happens when that "need to please" goes wrong, and a woman keeps pushing herself harder while simultaneously ignoring her own needs? What happens when a woman begins to think self-sabotaging girly thoughts—thoughts like If only I was thinner . . . younger . . . prettier . . . was into kinkier sex . . . ? What happens when relationships sour and the trauma is carried into subsequent relationships?

Noted psychologist and author Dr. Patricia O'Gorman answers these questions for today's generation of women. This groundbreaking book reveals how girly thoughts are just conclusions women reach as a way of making sense of the trauma they've experienced and the resulting codependency issues they grapple with. They need to be reminded from time to time of the saying that while legendary dancer Fred Astaire received top billing, "Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."

Whether dealing with family members, coworkers, intimate relationships, or a best friend, when a woman feels "less than" she often misses the path toward achieving her true potential. Blaming herself for what someone else has done to her is, sadly, a common theme among women, but Dr. O'Gorman shows how this reaction is merely how women have been conditioned to respond—then provides the tools they need to break the cycle and become more resilient.

Resilience, according to Dr. O'Gorman, is the part of us that celebrates cycles: it looks forward to new beginnings and back to past lessons. Using this life-long lens, readers will learn valuable ways of looking at their interpersonal relationships and will acquire tools to become more resilient,

"Broken into three significant parts, The Resilient Woman enveloped the essence of the word, resilient. Having heard this word before and used mostly as a description of hard-working women, I have developed a new-found knowledge of the term, and it's application to my life."

--Casandra Hawkins Wilson, NetGalley

"You will really get a lot out of this book and will want to pass it on. "

--Nicole Merritt, NetGalley

"This is a powerful MUST READ resource for women to understand the process of resiliency and their resilient style in facing stressful challenges. Bravo to the author for empowering woman with creative exercises and tools to strengthen their resilient style."
--Mercedes A. McCormick, PhD, LP, 2013 President of the American Psychological Association, Div. 52 International Psychology, and past president of the New York State Psychological Association, Division of Women's Issues

--Endorsement

"Offering both a mirror and a roadmap to guide women to new understandings about individual thoughts, actions, and strengths, The Resilient Woman provides insight and the protective tools to 'woman-proof' our lives. Instead of blaming women for picking up negative ideas of how we should think, feel, or act, O'Gorman explains how being a woman includes the exposure to a certain amount of 'cultural trauma' and then shows women how a resilient life is generated not from what happened in our lives but by our reactions to those things. The Resilient Woman offers the tools we need to make change in our lives plus the actionable steps to help us live from our base of personal power. It's a masterpiece!"
--Teena Cahill, PsyD, humorist, TV and radio show host, director of Wisdom and Beyond, and author of The Cahill Factor: Turning Adversity into Advantage

--Endorsement

"Exploring the individual, family, and community factors we have experienced enables us to look at ourselves in a new way. The questions raised by Dr. O'Gorman about how we think of ourselves, and the steps suggested to build a sense of resilience, are very constructive."
--Lita Schwartz, PhD, Distinguished Professor Emerita, Pennsylvania State University--Endorsement

"Unfortunately, even after half a century of feminist awareness, many smart women and girls are unable to access their power and live as fully as they would like. This book is a place to start--for women and for men who care about women and girls--to unravel the invisible forces that determine how we feel and what we're capable of doing."
--Marsha Shenk, pioneer in business anthropology, coach, and consultant to leaders from the Fortune 50 to Solopreneurs and founder of The BestWork(R) People

--Endorsement

"While showing how our childhood influences our resiliency, Dr. O'Gorman skillfully provides insight on the wide variety of changes women experience over the years. Developing and understanding a strong resilience plays a critical role in every woman's personal and professional success."
--Janet L. Duprey, New York State Assemblywoman, 115th District--Endorsement

"Women who come to a family law attorney are generally in pain and at a crossroads in their lives. The Resilient Woman offers an incredible tool to empower our clients during this period of their lives. Do not, however, mistake this book as merely a read for a person in crisis. The Resilient Woman explores why and how we revert to our girlhoods for so many of our emotional responses, how to analyze and overcome the results of those responses, and how to make decisions based on our adult selves."
--Elaine Wilson, Esq., past president of the Foothill (East San Diego County) Bar Association

--Endorsement

"Look no further than The Resilient Woman to discover and develop your inner resilience. I could relate to so much of this book because of my own life. As author Patricia O'Gorman points out, childhood experiences have an incredible impact on resilience in adulthood, but no matter what difficult circumstance life throws at you, you too can create resilience from it. The resilience journal Dr. O'Gorman guides readers to create is an excellent exercise for every woman to use to begin the process of developing a resilient life. This is a book I recommend not just for woman; men will benefit from this information, too."
--Erin Merryn, Glamour's Woman of the Year 2012, political activist, and author of Stolen Innocence and Living for Today--Endorsement

"Wow! I wish I could have read this book twenty-five years ago. I could have spared myself decades of listening to the static of girly thoughts as well as participating in the self-sabotage that goes with them. Growing your self-awareness, recognizing the need for boundaries, and acquiring the confidence to take charge are critical components of a successful professional career. This is particularly true of professions that have traditionally been dominated by men. First you have to 'know what you know' and then have the faith to act accordingly. In The Resilient Woman, author Patricia O'Gorman offers both the background knowledge and the doable steps any woman can use to accomplish this."
--Rebecca Lewis, Esq., attorney and criminal prosecutor

--Endorsement