A direct challenge to Milton's vision in Paradise Lost, John Everett Button's Reflexive Conversations offers literature its first truly romantic depiction of Satan in this bold contemporary epic poem. Utterly unique in its intimacy, Button has produced a brave new vision of the Devil's fall from grace and his resulting odyssey to hell. Transcending the bounds of traditional tragedy, Reflexive Conversations rises to become a work of sculpture that is a living representative of the substantive spheres of life, lifting the reader with the voice of raw human emotion, eternally bonding them to this unforgettable masterpiece.

REFLEXIVE CONVERSATIONS

By John Everett Button

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 John Everett Button
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4490-9321-1

Contents

INTRODUCTION..............................................iI. Reflexive Conversations................................1II. The Beginning.........................................3III. Auguries of Purgatory................................5IV. The Calm Sea..........................................7V. My Sirens..............................................9VI. Melon Colony..........................................13VII. The Drunken Couple...................................15VIII. In Search of the Garden of Eden.....................17IX. The Garden of Eden....................................21X. My Great Escape........................................25I. The Naked Couple.......................................29II. Face to Face..........................................31III. The Opera of the Calm Sea Storm......................35IV. Leaving Melon Colony..................................37V. The Blue Whale.........................................39VI. The Drunken Cruise....................................41VII. The Arctic Passage...................................43VIII. Finding the Symmetry of Eros........................45IX. Mei Amor in Pace Requiescat...........................47I. The Great Halls of Justice.............................53II. Sleepwalking in the Shadow Lands......................55III. Judas and Judgment...................................57IV. The Caribbean.........................................59V. The Shore..............................................61VI. The Village...........................................63VII. The Last Supper......................................65VIII. The Temple..........................................69IX. Man in the Room.......................................73XI. Renaissance...........................................79XII. Deliverance..........................................81XIII. Reflexive Conversations.............................85

Chapter One

BOOK ONE

I. REFLEXIVE CONVERSATIONS

Raten ... no, riet

The Devil sits mastering this new rhyme With his Piano concerto 21 On Repeat

No evil inside Just music, books, and rose-pedaled wine Interested in the beauty of love, Things good natured and fine

Different mediums line his tall shelves: Screw-tape tragedies and string symphonies Aged wines and dried tobacco leaves Egg-based paints and boar-haired brushes Small black hammers and thin chisels

Incense burns beside him in a suspended golden censer: Smoke slowly tumbles upward Drifting blindly through the darkness And into the sunlight

David and Adonis stand silently in pillars of light

Looking up into their distant gazes, He sees himself Forever trapped in youth and beauty

Without rising from his throne He pours himself a full glass of a blush-red wine From a tall crystal carafe beside him Poise and punctilio disappear with each sip

REFLEXIVE CONVERSATIONS

I will be sitting here until these statues turn to dust And the walls of this palace collapse into sand I will be watching when the stars fade from the sky And the only stirring in the universe is my eyes

You can't see the thorns tethered to my heart Or the cancer that consumed my mortal soul There is nothing for you to love about my life For my fate is not that of a hero

He knew I was prepared to leave, to be as great as he I had high hopes of chiseling myself into the rock of history So that I too, like his beloved statues, would take a legendary form

A great pale horse appeared at the foot of the palace steps Prepared to carry me as a conqueror Before every tribe, tongue, and nation

Concern spread over his face For he feared that something terrible lurked Not behind me, but before me

To himself he whispered,

Behold a pale horse His name that sat on him was Death And Hell followed with him

As I turned towards the great ghostly horse He interrupted my movement and said

Before you leave, you must know the truth of this throne, For I fear my fate will become your own

And with that he closed his book

II. THE BEGINNING

His empty gaze shifted past me across the marble floor and into some lively memory

He closed his eyes and looked inward: Visions bloomed from deep within the soft valves of his heart

He became a medium, commiserating with his past self As he began to speak in a soft certainty

I fell from the gates of heaven Without hate and without fear Thinking of a woman whom I loved so dear

I was thrown back into the world Left to bask forever in Purgatory Not knowing that a long journey awaited me

I was welcomed again by my lover And at my long journeys end Fate decided that I should lose her again

I will tell you all that I remember For your life is intertwined with mine

III. AUGURIES OF PURGATORY

I had come to the end of my life And stood at the edge of the world Peering down into the emptiness just beyond my feet:

An eternal descent into darkness

Birds flew off, never to return Distant rivers rushed off the land Tuffs of long-stemmed grass bowed over the edge as the wind swept past,

And there I stood at the very end of earth, before God's Great Beyond:

Huge shifting clouds consumed in burning light, Spinning, churning into each other, Absorbing the atmosphere; consuming all the air that blew past me

I had no fear, though, for faith filled my lungs, Giving courage to my limbs to walk across the bottomless abyss And into the Great Beyond

As I rested my left foot upon the emptiness before me, (Like a blind man stepping onto a bridge) All the faith and heavenly light could not calm A sudden flood of desperate memories;

Faith could not purge my memories of my forgotten Love lost

And as before, I surrendered and fell Watching the bright clouds race away from me Lost in the feeling of `forever'

(Unconscious)

IV. THE CALM SEA

(Conscious)

The world is quietly circling around As I awaken to the gentle slapping of the deep blue That surrounds me

A benevolent raft, tied with vine Settles with the jealous current Together we drift west, following a passing sun

Lonely clouds move above the calm uncharted water

In a passing moment, I begin to consider The spots and wrinkles that have appeared on my hands; A natural tension curls my fingers slightly

To the vast Calm Sea I utter:

Oh, how quickly Time consumes us

The Calm Sea ignores my utterance And continues me past like a silent chauffeur

So I just sit, balancing my forearms on my knees, Resting; waiting until the gravity of the world Gets tired of such a burden

V. MY SIRENS

Flashes of golden light caught my tired eyes Songs of sympathy began to strike my tender ears Forcing my body to the edge of my small wooden vessel, Unsure of what was approaching:

Three women with long golden hair emerged from the sea, Perched on the crest of an islet: Two columns of rock standing firmly upon the calm water Merging together into an open archway

Waves of harmonious falsetto surrounded me Their long golden hair flashed in the sun I began to frantically paddle with my hands Submitting to the Siren's calls

As I approached the mouth of the islet's hallow archway I looked up to see figures of the most tempting and lustful design High up, looking off into the distance Holding endless notes in harmony together

I fell into my own illusion Of climbing up the islet's steep columns And resting beside them In eternal awe

Their voices penetrated my mind Fish-eyed and vulnerable I began to sing, Thoughtlessly and without strain, A song which I had never known:

(Music)

"I've been lost for a long, long time Searching all the seas For a place that's pure and rich with cures For all the things I don't need

She lured my soul with her golden hair I answered "what do you need?" I found myself on a distant land In the middle of the sea

(Refrain)

I know, I know This trip won't be easy And I know, I know It's hard to please me But if I wait, then I might find ...

The sirens want me, cause I'm so weak They know I'll never leave Their beauty presses me like a wrecking ball Nothing else can I see She's got a golden comb for her golden hair She's got a song to sing I'll be here for the rest of my entire life Lost in her melody

(Refrain)

I know, I know I'm drifting away I know, I know There's nothing to say But if I wait, then I might find ...

I'll be here for the rest of my entire life Lost in her melody She'll have me till I'm dead and gone But at least I'll be free ..."

(End) The siren's voices were now behind me and the illusion vanished I found myself at the end of the damp archway, Floating into warm afternoon light Towards the glowing sands of an long narrow island

The kind current carried me away from the sirens And onto the crest of a wave That quickly rolled me into its funnel And delivered me onto the island's warm sands

VI. MELON COLONY

I'll play you something from Melon Colony, The wanderers' commune on the Island of Purgatory, That place between death and eternity; A land of forgotten memories

I washed onto a most distant resort of the deeply isolated Who wait, with spent, day-dreamt eyes, for feelings that will abide I felt my worry escape me, suspended in a warm passing breeze, Hanging around like a wandering orchestrated piece

Waves crashed on the beach Carrying in the drifters, Look like sun-tanned natives From time spent on long rafts, Laid out, Asleep, Surrounded by a sea's deeply unconscious waters Dreaming of their past; Lamenting their own fall before the Great Beyond

Palm trees line the edge of the golden sand Hunched over and silent

Lying along the beach Few desert the comforting sand Exposed to the warmth that wraps their olive-skinned bodies And slows the time

Hollow wooden wind chimes Quiet hymns of tired voices Nylon string guitars

There's a straw-roofed bamboo bar Where many are seen drinking And smoking Melon Colony cigars:

Bar flies speaking their minds Homeless and those lost of heart, and others; Pearl and Mirror Queens, forever waiting for the date who's late

The Melon Colony is a hidden haven; a little Havana

But after a short while I looked at those around me, And began to consider my existence And the overwhelming emptiness that filled it

My romantic amnesia began to fade My veil of comfort fell away; I longed to be alone in quiet mourning

As the sun retreated away, Dividing night from day, The stars became clearer, And the hopes held within for tomorrow, Followed me into my dreams

VII. THE DRUNKEN COUPLE

Day came like an obedient tearful slave; A gentle rain awoke me The clouds soon dissolved and the sands radiated, But few of the olive-skinned people took notice

Waves of blue Crash along the shore

Murmuring throughout the night deprived me of any rest:

A drunken couple stumbled onto the beach With his arm draped around her, they leaned against each other, Balancing across the dark dimpled sands Blindly crashing down beside me

While they shared a mango, I heard the woman whisper close to his ear:

"... the founders of Melon Colony:

An attractive young couple, They were first on the island, Living on this beach Leaving behind stories of their Genesis:

The couple awoke beside each other, Awakening from dreams of nothing Rising together, they stood upon barren soil; A garden sprung up all around them

Humble trees began to stretch their branches Tiny plants and flowers sprouted from the soil Strange little lizards scurried up trees Eggs hatched and birds flew out

They built a house and enclosed it with a golden gate But curiosity led them through the garden, Over the Gate, and to the other side; The young couple fled the Great Garden forever

The Garden was said to have never been found again ..."

The island's surrounding jungle seemed to call out to me To leave Melon Colony and search for this strange paradise

VIII. IN SEARCH OF THE GARDEN OF EDEN

I left the beach and moved into the jungle Following the beaten path said to be of great men It wandered and weaved like an ancient river bed, Becoming increasingly narrow And disappearing Among the Gro wt h

Green growth matured with each step The tangled trees and vines devoured the light Only streams of day poked through the thick mist Providing short glimpses of what was before me

I pushed overgrown palms (like elephant ears) Away from my face I marched past the low-lying drip-tipped leaves; Beads of moisture rolled down their smooth green spines

Trees were giant wooden towers With rich umbrella crowns I swung from hanging vines Over the trees' large exposed roots

The jungle closed in behind me as I passed through Erasing any tracks I may have left Discovering a large knife partially buried in the thin forest soil I slashed through the debris before me with little effect

After some time I came to a narrow ravine That split across the entire island Looking over the steep edge I could see rushing water Racing through the channel

Walking along the ravine's edge, I found a rotting tree which had fallen between both sides, Half of its roots ripped from the earth, Branching into the air

The tree's trunk extended across the ravine Just shy of the other side I mounted the tree's back and crawled, Slowly shifting along like a caterpillar

Bark flaked off around me Fluttering down into the loud water

The wood began to feel soft and moist on my hands As I neared the end, the trunk began to bob up and down The old tree began to whine Its wood popping and whistling

The tree's whining grew louder

I rose to my feet Tossed the knife onto the land Squatted And leapt

The trunk broke away Falling into the calling water Crashing against the ravine's wall, I clung to course tree roots protruding from the ravine's wall My hands burned as I hung there struggling up the side And pulling myself onto the land

Looking back across the gorge I realized: A new impasse; I could not return, so I continued forward Into the jungle

It became alive; a vast system of consciousness

IX. THE GARDEN OF EDEN

I pushed aside a heavy palm leaf And was confronted by a vibrant overgrown garden of unnatural birth Enclosed by a fallen golden gate

Water poured over the sides of a granite fountain Feeding a steady stream that flowed beside me The word "Pishon" was etched into its stone

I was astounded by the garden's undisturbed evolution

A silver scaled serpent with smooth black eyes Slithered along the short banks of the stream Swallowing a two-headed frog perched on a black lily

In the dark-wooded trees of the garden Rested enormous lizards across the sturdy branches, With their tails swaying freely beneath them

Passing the fountain's green-checkered ivy I heard the distant hard flapping of an ancient bird Moving over the tops of the trees

A massive shadow glided past

Through the shining lines of a triangular spider web, I could see a hundred praying mantises, On a pew of raised earth in stiff praise

A pink wall of giant camellia flowers blocked further sight

An open roar bellowed from the other side of the garden Sent tremors like gentle waves under my feet and up the trees trunks, Scattering tiny red-striped birds into flight

As I pushed past the bright flower heads I found myself at the foot of a white mansion Each of its three floors had a terrace that tightly wrapped the house

The front doors were partially open, Revealing a dark redwood twin staircase, A small walkway snaked beneath the staircases into a bright open room

I slowly entered

Cat-sized monkeys with large round eyes and long striped tails roamed the interior, Crawling in and out of the holes and cracks in the old roof Pausing to watch me

Through the small almond-shaped passage between the twin staircase, Was a large empty room with no opposing wall Leaving it completely open to the outside

The room merged with a long flight of stairs that led down To a large stone patio framed by fat stone pegs Placed closely beside one another

At the patio's center was a wooden dining-room table Set for two with plates and cups of the softest gold Beyond the patio was a single tree

The tree's ten branches extended away from each other At the tip of each branch protruded sharp shards of crystal That surrounded tight bundles of tiny fruits

Beneath the tree circled a lion and lioness Passing each other, circling within warn paths These cherubim were terrific specimens of terror:

Their eyes were white corneas matching their albino fur An overflowing mane of blue flame painlessly groomed The lion's face; blue flames streaked the lioness's ears

The ancient tree had continued to grow in the deserted garden Some of its branches winding like long fingernails One such branch had grown so heavy that it rested upon the patio

Shattered crystals and pink lemon-shaped fruits lay at my feet I picked up one of the soft fruits Its thin skin was fuzzy

My teeth pierced its tender pink skin

I swallowed a flood of bitter juice My throat burned and swelled I felt as though I was being strangled

My heart raced faster as a stream of heat crept through me My muscles quivered and shook Leaving me upon the patio's stone floor

Tiny blue flames came from my pores Uniting together as if my skin were paper, Consuming my body in a blaze

A wavering blue engulfed my vision I rolled in anguish upon the patio And the flames vanished

I calmly rose from the ashes of burned skin and hair

Pushing long curly brown hair from my face With new youthful hands Strength pulsed up and down my arms and legs

A great clarity of consciousness consumed me I felt as though I was chiseled by the hand of God And born from the womb of a angel

Movement in the trees awakened my young heart Monkeys began a choir of screams, Leaping onto the roof from the branches of the tallest trees

Two bright-yellow eyes opened in the trees of the garden

Birthed from the dark shadows came a heavy black feline, His shoulders slowly rolling with each descending paw Two long tusks extended from his closed mouth

They raised, like drawn swords, into the air As he opened his jaws, flattening his large spotted tongue And violently hissed

A warm breeze of rotting flesh blew past me

As I turned to run He exploded through the yard, Entering the realm of the great tree

A deafening squeal forced me to look over my shoulder The lion clung to his back The lioness clutched his throat

Blood spilled into the roots of the tree

Fleeing back into the jungle as quickly as I could Slashing about in the tight cramped space I knew I couldn't return; Not to the Garden of Eden, Not to Melon Colony

I moved to the other side of the Island of Purgatory

(Continues...)

Excerpted from REFLEXIVE CONVERSATIONSby John Everett Button Copyright © 2010 by John Everett Button. Excerpted by permission.
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