New York Times bestselling author Dr. Warren Farrell reveals solutions to the seven most important barriers to sustaining love—practices that have helped thousands of real couples rediscover their "soul mate" spark.

When Dr. Farrell began teaching couples’ communication 30 years ago, he taught the wisdom of not being defensive in response to criticism. However, when a couple returned home and a criticism inevitably appeared, that wisdom disappeared. Couples needed to not just be taught this, but to practice both in the workshop and at home.

With the help of decades of post-workshop feedback from real couples, Farrell perfected six mindsets that the couples found most effective to embrace criticism as an opportunity to feel more deeply loved—even while they are being criticized. Role Mate to Soul Mate guides couples on how to do this for two hours per week as a “Caring and Sharing Practice.” For the other 166 hours, couples create a “Conflict-Free Zone” the other 166 hours, which requires preventing criticisms from becoming conflicts.

To do this, you’ll learn how to:

Appreciate your loved one with five levels of specificity, both creatively and consistently

Transform the “Four Depleters of Love” (Criticisms, Complaining, Complacency, and Controlling) into ways to deepen love

Master the eleven “Soulmate Wisdoms”

Play together, because “couples that play together stay together”

Create win-win solutions to your stickiest problems

Apply your new skills to family, friends, colleagues—and even political opponents

Since falling in love is natural but sustaining love is unnatural, making these skills come naturally requires an evolutionary shift that is both an art and a discipline. The Role Mate to Soul Mate reward? A deeper, dynamic, and lifelong love.

About the Author

Warren Farrell, PhD, has coached couples and psychologists worldwide in couples’ communication for the past 30 years. His popular course is “Role Mate to Soul Mate: The Art and Discipline of Love.” Dr. Farrell has been chosen by the Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders. His books are published in 19 languages, and include the New York Times bestseller Why Men Are the Way They Are, international bestseller The Myth of Male Power, and 2018’s The Boy Crisis. His previous book on couples’ communication, Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say, was a selection of the Book of the Month Club. Warren has been a pioneer in both the women’s movement (elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC) and the men’s movement. His life journey is the subject of a forthcoming documentary. He has been interviewed repeatedly by Oprah, Barbara Walters, Tucker Carlson, and Jordan Peterson, and also by Peter Jennings, Sean Hannity, Katie Couric, Larry King, Regis Philbin, and Charlie Rose. He has frequently written for and been featured in the New York Times and publications worldwide. Warren has two daughters and lives with his wife in Mill Valley, California.

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