CHAPTER 1

POEMS:

LOVE

    WISHES

    Now listen to what once
    My grandma said to me
    About her fondest wishes
    And how they came to be.

    "What do you wish for
    Most of all?"
    I asked my grandma
    One cold day.

    As for myself,
    I always wished
    For winter storms
    To go away.

    But my dear grandma
    Didn't speak
    Of ice, or even
    Snow or sleet.

    She didn't speak
    At all of weather -
    Of winter cold
    Or summer heat.

    She spoke of other
    Things that were
    So far from what
    I'd heard before.

    She said to me
    In a soft tone
    That made me listen
    All the more.

    Now listen to what once
    My grandma said to me
    About her fondest wishes
    And how they came to be.

    "My wishes now
    Are not the same
    As they were when
    I was quite small.

    I then wished great
    Things for myself:
    A young man who
    For me would fall,

    And then when I
    Found my young man
    And we were wed,
    I wished for more,

    I wished some kids
    For us to have
    To raise and always
    To adore."

    "And when you had
    The kids you wished,
    Did you stop wishing
    For more things?"

    I asked my grandma,
    Who now had
    That far-off look
    That old age brings.

    Now listen to what once
    My grandma said to me
    About her fondest wishes
    And how they came to be.

    My grandma said,
    "When I had kids,
    I wished for them
    And not for me.

    I wished for them
    To grow up well,
    Be good and kind
    As they could be.

    And then I wished
    For them to have
    A mate to love them
    Every day,

    And to have kids
    Now of their own,
    And raise them well
    In every way."

    "And then what happened
    When they did?
    Did you stop wishing
    For more things?"

    I asked my grandma,
    Who replied,
    "Life does its own
    Surprises bring."

    Now listen to what once
    My grandma said to me
    About her fondest wishes
    And how they came to be.

    "For when my kids
    Had their own kids,
    I started wishing
    All anew.

    My wishes focused
    On the young.
    I wished that they
    Would grow to do

    As well as their
    Own parents did,
    Be wed and have
    Kids of their own.

    And that is what
    I'll wish for you
    When you yourself
    Are fully grown."

    I still recall
    My grandma smiled
    And hugged me tight,
    As tight can be.

    I never forgot
    My grandma's wishes
    For her, for us,
    And then for me.


    FIRST LOVE

    "Who was your first love,
    Dear Mama?"
    My girl once asked of me.

    "How did you really
    Come to know
    Your love was truly he?"

    I had no doubt
    When I replied,
    "My first love surely was

    My father, who
    Was always there
    To do what a dad does,

    For he was loving,
    And whenever
    I shed some bitter tears,

    He soothed away
    All of my pain
    And drove away my fears."

    "Just like my dad!"
    My girl replied.
    "He's always there for me.

    He makes me feel
    Important so
    My own self I can be!"


    NIGHT SKY

    I like to gaze
    At the night sky
    And see the stars
    That shine above.
    They always make me
    Think of Dad,
    And of his heart
    So full of love.

    "Please tell me why,"
    I asked my dad,
    "There are bright stars
    In the night sky.

    If God wants dark
    To drown the world,
    Why does He light it?
    Why, Dad, why?"

    My father thought
    It over then,
    And smiled and said,
    "The stars, you see,

    Are there to let us
    Know, my dear,
    Nothing's dark as
    It seems to be."

    I like to gaze
    At the night sky
    And see the stars
    That shine above.
    They always make me
    Think of Dad,
    And of his heart
    So full of love.

    "So when you go
    Through life, you know,
    And find yourself
    In a dark place,

    And think that you
    Will never be
    Equipped that dark
    Alone to face,

    Remember all those
    Stars up high,
    Recall there is
    A light somewhere,

    And you'll be strong
    Enough to face
    All dangers that
    May at you stare."

    I like to gaze
    At the night sky
    And see the stars
    That shine above.

    They always make me
    Think of Dad,
    And of his heart
    So full of love.


    MY FATHER

    My father was
    The kindest man
    Whom I have ever
    Truly known.
    He gave his fortune,
    Work, and heart,
    So freely that
    He had no clone.

    I sometimes wondered,
    Growing up,
    How anyone
    Could give so much,
    And ask for nothing
    In return
    Except for others'
    Lives to touch.

    What was so great
    About my dad
    Was that he could
    His own self place
    In others' shoes,
    And thus he graced
    All members of
    The human race.


    HIS DESK

    I still think of it as his desk,
    Although it's long been mine.

    I first saw it when I was small.
    I loved its bright black shine.

    I used to stand on tippy-toe
    To see what was on top.

    I still recall the brass pen stand
    And pen he used non-stop.

    When I became a teenager,
    I sat right at that desk,

    To take my dad's dictation
    Of essays for the press.

    And when my father died, alas,
    Of all the things he had,

    It was his desk I wished to keep,
    `Cause it was dear to Dad.

    I first used it for writing, but,
    As years have now gone by,

    And with computers and the like,
    My use of it did die.

    And yet I kept my father's desk,
    And look at it each day.

    It brings back memories of him,
    Which are thus here to stay.


    DEAR FATHER

    As you know, Father dear,
    I am in my old age -

    I am older than you were
    When you left the stage -

    And increasingly now
    That I'm able to look

    Upon my long life
    And the path that I took,

    I wonder if you would
    Approve of my life,

    And the way that I dealt
    With challenge and strife.

    It is not very easy
    For a young woman to face

    The death of her loved ones
    Yet go on with the race.

    But although I had thoughts
    Of leaving for good,

    I turned death into goad
    And did all I could

    To honor my loved ones,
    Make sense of their death.

    They were so young when war
    Stole their very last breath!

    I created some art
    About man's endless war,

    And my art will be seen
    For many years more.

    I wrote many books
    And poems and plays,

    And have my own lyrics
    Set to music these days.

    And I've done all of that
    `Cause I feel I must live

    Not only for me
    But for those who did give

    Their life for a cause
    That was greater than they.

    Do you hear me, dear Father?
    Do you get what I say?


    LOSING A SIBLING

    If a sibling
    You once had
    Who is no more,
    Who is now dead;

    If in your youth
    You formed a bond,
    And of him you
    Were truly fond,

    Then suddenly
    You're left alone
    While he is buried
    Beneath a stone,

    What can you do?
    What can you say?
    Can you get over
    Your dismay

    At the deep loss
    Of one so dear,
    Which will forever
    Make you tear

    For you yourself,
    Left on your own,
    To mourn your fate
    Since you're alone?


    DEAR BROTHER

    How many years
    Has it now been
    Since you were killed
    My Brother, dear,
    Left me behind,
    All by myself,
    To fight life's wars,
    Not showing fear?

    When I was born,
    You were quite ready
    To lead me on,
    And light my way.
    Perhaps it is
    What older siblings
    By nature do
    Each passing day.

    You were the one
    Whom I would follow,
    A guiding force
    To show me how
    I could live up
    To high ideals,
    And thus fulfill
    A sacred vow.

    But since you left me
    In our youth,
    I've had to chart
    My way alone.

    I've had to use
    Each ounce of strength
    To live for two
    While on my own.

    Since you were killed,
    I've been the guided,
    And the guide, too,
    (Though that seems queer).
    I've had to make up
    For what was missing -
    Your strength and wisdom -
    Through the years.

    Not only that:
    I've had to strive
    To reach the goals
    For which you fought.
    And as I did so,
    All the way,
    I've used the courage
    You me brought.

    How have I done
    In all these years?
    Do you approve
    Of my life's course?
    If you were here,
    Would my life be,
    For you, dear Brother,
    Of pride a source?

    How many years
    Has it now been
    Since you were killed,
    My Brother, dear,
    Left me behind,
    All by myself,
    To fight life's wars,
    Not showing fear?