CHAPTER 1
Connecting the Dots
Dawn Z Bournand
I chose Paris because I knew it would not be easy. I was coming out of a divorce that had knocked the wind out of me and I was trying to learn to breathe again. Somehow I instinctively knew that smooth and easy was not the medicinal balm I needed. I needed a challenge, something to stretch my wings and push me to new limits. Europe came to mind immediately. It seemed a big enough contrast to my golf club, gated community home in the northern Atlanta suburbs.
At the end of my second year at University, a friend and I had decided we wanted to backpack around Europe for a semester. It was a life-changing trip and an adventure I would recommend for every person to do at least once in her life. London had felt like a second home at that time and so that would seem to be the natural choice for this healing sabbatical I was planning to take; but no, London would be too effortless. I needed a challenge, so it had to be France, a country whose language I barely spoke, a place where I had a few acquaintances but no real ties, and the one country that my backpacking adventures actually left me questioning why so many people loved it.
I booked my ticket to Paris, signed up for a year-long photography course and through amazingly serendipitous events even found roommates all within weeks of deciding I would make the leap across the Atlantic, without much of a safety net.
My mother coined a phrase for me during those early days: a phoenix from the flames. I had been burned by the former life I loved disappearing so suddenly, but Paris was my place of re-birth. I savored the exotic cultural mix, the myriad of sounds, fragrances, colors and tastes and the rich blend of the very, very old with avant-garde new. As I came to know the city, I no longer questioned why people loved it so much, I too had fallen under the spell. The healing process had begun.
The challenge of defining myself anew and having absolutely no pre-conceived ideas coming from the people I met, allowed me to ask and answer questions like: Who am I? What really matters to me? What brings me joy? What legacy do I want to leave behind? Admittedly, not very easy questions to answer but they felt so right in this time of figuring out who I was and what made my soul sing. Traveling to the land of self-discovery is a journey worth taking, and one I highly recommend. You don't have to cross an ocean to do it - unless you want to, of course. Taking the time to ask yourself deep, introspective questions in an environment where all expectations have been left behind and you can be the you that you want to be, the you you have really known all along that you are, opens up an amazing space for possibility.
There is something that happens when you live in Paris as opposed to being "just" a tourist – Paris becomes a part of you. Well, that is how it happened for me, at least. It was not the grand monuments, the awe-inspiring art or the plethora of gourmet goodies that won me over. I grew to adore the crooked, narrow streets, the gorgeous odors of baguettes or pain au chocolat coming from the nearby boulangerie, and the quirky shops that you just happen upon every time you walk the city. Even something as mundane as lugging my laundry to the nearby laundromat, with my dear new friend Alexandra from Switzerland, was a charming and memorable moment.
As my photography course finished and the year was coming to an end, I realized I was not ready to go back home just yet. So I found a job teaching English and that is where destiny stepped in. On my way home from work one night I met my future husband on the metro and that was that. Five short months later we were married. That one year trip has now turned into seventeen years; France has become my adopted home and the country where my three sons, the lights of my life, were born.
It has not been all glorious, dream-like moments, though. As it is everywhere, life here has been filled with extreme highs and lows and all the moments and feelings in between. I have so many emotions tied to this beautiful and elusive place.
Shock: being awakened by my mother's call to tell me that Princess Diana had just died from a horrible car accident that had taken place only a short distance away from where I was living.
Horror: holding my oldest son in my arms when he took what I thought was his last breath as his three week old body gave in to the cruel, rare disease (HUS) that was eating him up.
Elation: thanking the dedicated medical staff and one of the only doctors in the world specialized in HUS for doing everything in their power over two long months to save our son's tiny fragile life and succeeding (I will forever be a proponent for social medicine after that experience!)
Terror: answering the call from my family in Florida as I was crossing the Place des Victoires and hearing them tell me that the World Trade Center had just been attacked and that we were possibly at war; wondering if I would ever see my family in the United States again.
Bliss: watching my three sons grow into healthy, happy, heart-centered young men as they embrace their cultural mix and create friendships on both sides of the Atlantic.
Gratitude: reflecting on the very rich life I have experienced here in France, the people I have met, the experiences I have had, and the feelings I have felt.
My leap has certainly not been uneventful and the wonderful part is that along the way, I have created my own safety net. I was eventually able to build my career in France and became a writer, editor and speaker for the MBA market. Then, a few years ago, I realized there was still something more I wanted and needed to do. After speaking to and working with many women executives around the world, I saw their lack of true fulfillment in the work place and in their lives. It seemed so many people were simply "settling" for what they felt was inevitable or necessary. Helping individuals and groups open up to their potential and expand their possibilities is my passion. Thus, my company Fabulously Successful was born.
At the beginning of 2013 a simple fact caught my attention. All of my clients were living outside of France: Brazil, Tokyo, Toronto, London, Miami ... but not a single city in France. Surely, there must be at least a few like-minded women in this country, too, who were interested in creating the life they knew they were meant to live. So, on a whim I created a MeetUp group, called it "Paris Women of Success" and asked women interested in meeting on a monthly basis to share the highs and lows of living a successful life to sign up.
The result has been far greater than I ever could have imagined! After just six months the membership was at 250 women and counting. Each meeting reminds me that we can do magnificent things on our own, yet it is even more powerful when we come together and create. As Margaret Mead said, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." I have already seen the power of our group through new friendships, partnerships, support and service. It has convinced me once more that we are never given an idea without the means to create that which we have dreamed of.
It is now my goal to take this same energy and message to other parts of the world. I want to empower more women to take their leap and reach for their dreams too. My company is a perfect example of thought + action = reality. I am now paid to do what I love – helping people to create their own fulfilling lives. It is true that I could have launched the same thing most anywhere in the world but I deeply believe Paris is what helped make it all possible. I was pushed to ask those significant questions of myself and to find what truly lit me up. It is not that I would wish for adversity for anyone but I do believe that it can make us stronger, clearer and more determined. Perhaps Steve Jobs sums up my Paris experience best when he said, "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." So don't try to connect the dots looking forward, move in the direction of what you truly desire and trust that everything will fall beautifully into place. It certainly has for me!
Dawn Z Bournand
Dawn Z Bournand is a business and life coach, speaker, author and radio show host working with clients around the world to help them create a business and lifestyle that supports their unique definition of Fabulously Successful. An American living in Paris, an international entrepreneur and a highly fulfilled mother to her three sons, Dawn is living her dream and wants to inspire you to do the same. She believes that if you are not living a life you love, perhaps it is time to make a change. To learn more about Dawn, Fabulously Successful and how you too can share your message with the world you are invited to go to: www.fabulouslysuccessful.com
CHAPTER 2
Closet Guru - Coming Out of the Closet with My Own Unique Gift
Michelle Pozon
The name of my business, Closet Guru, is not just about clothing for me: it is a play on words, it means coming out into the open and loving from and living with my passions. It means no longer hiding from my greatness and accepting that it is only in doing what I love that I can excel and thrive.
I've been in love with creating outfits all my life. My parents saw it as a "charming hobby." I believed in their counsel, but I also knew the love and joy I felt when I made my mom feel beautiful.
Growing up in South East Asia in the 70s and 80s, my favorite moments were styling my mother's outfits for the occasional Embassy Ball. I can still picture a six-year-old me, standing behind my mom as she looked into the mirror, beaming at her own reflection. She was lovely already, but in those moments it was clear to me that I was giving her a special gift , and I felt so incredibly proud and thankful that I could do such a thing.
As I got older, my charming hobby evolved into an "impractical distraction." I was advised that my time would be better spent studying "so that I could grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer (or at least marry one)."
I tried to make my parents proud and kept my fantasies to myself, but deep down I knew: "One day I will live in Paris, be married to an adoring French husband and have a gorgeous child. And, I will be helping women feel BEAUTIFUL."
Fast forward thirty-nine years and here I am in Paris. I am not sure if I pursued my dream, but I am sure my dream pursued me.
* * *
By the age of twenty-three, I had grown up into neither a doctor nor a lawyer; I was miserable working for Citibank in San Francisco. I never studied art or design, but I started my first clothing label, just to stop my then boyfriend from calling me a "chicken." Soon my collections were selling in trendy boutiques in the Marina and Pacific Heights areas; I was designing wedding dresses, and helping friends shop and vamp up their closets.
When my brother died in 1994 I moved to New York to be near my sister, and started my second label there. I was twenty-eight. Although my accounts included Saks Fifth Avenue, Henri Bendel, Harvey Nichols and Bergdorf Goodman, my "success" led me to tears. With the exception of a few moments of creative bliss, I found myself feeling abandoned, too much in my own head.
At tradeshows and when meeting my clients, the talk was always about numbers, terms of sale, and sell through dates. I did not hear that I was helping anyone, or that my dresses made women feel pretty. The bigger my business grew, the smaller I felt and I could not understand why I was struggling.
In 2001, my French-born, New York-raised husband - neither a doctor nor a lawyer - started talking about living in Paris. Wanting a fresh start we moved here in 2004. It was my childhood dream but that was not at all in the forefront of my mind.
Within a few months I got pregnant and we decided to stay. In 2005 our beautiful son was born and in 2006 I started a children's wear label. Hoping that I had finally found my way to a sense of fulfillment I teamed up with a business partner and was buoyed by the inspiration of my son.
Once again, four years into our business and just as we began to realize success, I started to crumble. With much grief, and for a song, I sold my share of the business. I cried and huddled into a corner, ashamed of myself for what I believed then to be "letting my son down", and giving away another one of my creations. My grief continued for months until I finally surrendered. I read books by Louise Hay and Marianne Williamson and I taught myself to meditate.
I spent two years in what I call "meditation hibernation," my sole goal to feel every emotion in kindness, without judgment. I prayed for answers and when no answers seemed to come I consoled myself by going into our closets, clearing out clutter, organizing and reorganizing my home until it "felt right." I chanted encouraging mantras to myself as I cleared out the excess: "I am beloved and worthy, just as I am" and a recent favorite, from Mastin Kipp: "Everything happens for me, not to me."
When my home was in tip-top shape I started bringing order to my friends' closets, shopping with them, helping them with their wardrobe concerns. Oft en one would nudge me jokingly, "are you sure you don't want me to pay you for this?" Then one day, as I was walking home, my childhood daydream came into consciousness. Lights and whistles went off in my head. I was here in Paris, with my loving, beautiful family and I was helping women feel beautiful!
I shrieked, ran home and called up some friends. "I got it," I pronounced into the phone, laughing and crying all at once, "Yes, I would LOVE to help women FEEL beautiful. I'm going to be the Closet Guru in Paris."
Doubts continued, but I kept meditating, asking the Universe only for my highest good; my prayers were answered with blessings every day. Word got out and Closet Guru was born – I had four clients in the first week!
Soon I was redoing four closets in a month, bringing joy to women's spaces. I replaced their clutter and confusion with confidence and grace.
Today, I am out of the closet, and have given myself permission to experience the joy of playing in closets again. My perspective has changed; I'm not trying to be anything other than myself, and I'm thankful for who I am.
I'm also thankful for my family. For most of my life they gave me financial freedom. I was never hungry. I always had a beautiful home. I could always go where I wanted to go and start a business without a loan. In exchange, I thought I had to be something that they understood, to make them proud.
I used to be embarrassed to lead a "charmed life". I felt so "lucky" not to have the challenges other people faced. I crippled myself with feelings of guilt. I tried to do what I thought I "should" do, instead of what I wanted to do.
Finding style in chaotic spaces may not be something everyone understands but my family has always supported me in their own way. I spent many years trying to prove to them that I could thrive despite what I saw as their lack of faith in me. I now see that it was my faith I needed more than theirs.
It has taken me forty years to recognize that it was me who neglected my childhood dream. My parents may have not understood my passions, but I was the one living in denial. They gave simply because they love me. I now see that real gratitude would be to use my gift s in service precisely because only I can.
They never asked me to prove myself. I gave myself that burden and it is something I have been unlearning, one second at a time, over the last two years.
* * *
My business is small but growing. I meditate daily, nurturing the inner child that I shushed all those years. I help women free themselves of excess and encourage them to get in touch with their dreams instead of neglecting them. Women trust me with their vulnerability, humbling me with that awesome responsibility.
