Once a Girl, Now a Woman
Rowe, Nikki
Sold by Greenworld Books, Arlington, TX, U.S.A.
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Add to basketSold by Greenworld Books, Arlington, TX, U.S.A.
AbeBooks Seller since 20 June 2025
Condition: Used - Good
Quantity: 1 available
Add to basketFast Free Shipping â Good condition. It may show normal signs of use, such as light writing, highlighting, or library markings, but all pages are intact and the book is fully readable. A solid, complete copy that's ready to enjoy.
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| Preface.................................................................... | ix |
| Acknowledgements........................................................... | xi |
| Introduction............................................................... | xiii |
| Chapter 1 Recognise........................................................ | 1 |
| Chapter 2 Understand....................................................... | 7 |
| Chapter 3 Control.......................................................... | 13 |
| Chapter 4 Listen........................................................... | 19 |
| Chapter 5 Cleanse.......................................................... | 25 |
| Chapter 6 Forgiveness...................................................... | 37 |
| Chapter 7 Heal............................................................. | 43 |
| Chapter 8 You and Yourself................................................. | 49 |
| Chapter 9 To the Future and Beyond......................................... | 53 |
Recognise
For so long, many of us have been on a journey to discoverour deepest truths. We all get tired of living in a world soroutine, where material possessions seem to win out over thepower of love. We often get so caught up in it all that we find ourselveseventually realising we are not fulfilling our true lives and that we areliving for others.
We so often live in fear of judgement; it is a fear that we will letdown all those who have ever loved us. We slowly allow these thoughtsand fears, as well as our egos, to change our own perceptions of whatwe wish our lives would be. We continue time after time to forget ourown worth. Many of us are raised to grow up and go to college, get ajob, marry someone we love, have children, continue a generation, andthen pass on. We don't take risks, and we don't redeem opportunities.
What kind of a life is this?
Will we one day look back at our lives and believe that we dideverything we were supposed to do, or will we realise we have reallybeen living for another?
So ask yourself, from deep within your heart, what is your truth?
What are your feelings? Are you feeling hurt, angry, anxious,depressed, nervous, impatient, insecure, misunderstood, unworthy, orashamed?
You are not alone.
Recognising these feelings allows you to grow. It will give youstrength that will help you to understand and gain a deeper knowledgeof yourself.
How can you ever discover who you are if you don't recognise thereal, honest truth of your feelings first?
You may be familiar with some of the feelings that arise; others, youwon't recognize. Many of us don't truly know what it is to be completelyhappy, to feel accepted, or to be in a genuinely loving atmosphere. Someof us are ten steps ahead at a very young age. Regardless of the journeywe wish to undertake, our background and are choices will all directthe path we wish to take in life.
Some of us go through life doing everything in our power to ignorethe truth and ignore the pain—to cover it up like it never existed.
To recognise why you are feeling differently than you wish to befeeling is to be on the path of self-discovery. When you are being honestand open with yourself, it will hurt; it will start to cause emotions deepinside your soul that you never imagined. This is good; living in truthnever came easy.
This feeling could be a deeply rooted loss of trust, faith, oracceptance from a childhood memory or a kind of dispute or maybeeven the breakdown of a relationship or friendship. Whatever its cause,recognising that you still hold any kind of resentment can unfold yourheart and open it to inner peace and true acceptance.
Our hearts cannot feel peace if we are holding on to bad feelingsstemming from memories that we need to eliminate from our minds;yes, memories are amazing. I believe they are the imprints of who weare and what we become. We must not let them overcome us, overcomeour minds, and change our future realities.
* * *
Only you can bring yourself happiness. You are the creator of howyou wish your life to be; others are only a part of the story.
You will never be who you are if you never let go of who you thoughtyou were.
I walked alone, not because I had to but because I chose to. The oneswho change the world do not follow; they make a path where the grassseems too long. The road is never too short, and their journeys, beforethey take them, are completely unheard of. Be different. Be daring. Bereal.
* * *
There is a difference between a glimpse of a memory and livingthrough the memory.
You will learn to recognise this difference in the journey—torecognise whether the feeling is from a memory you are reliving orfrom a memory you have not yet accepted and let go of.
If the situation you are remembering still brings feelings other thancontentment and peace to your heart, then you are still in the process ofhealing this negative energy.
By living through the memory, you are growing hate, anger, anddeep emotions of resentment and anguish. You are slowly closing yourheart to its true potential as you hold on to these lost feelings. You arechoosing your path of fate without realising it.
Someday, these emotions will come back in forms other thanthose they started in. At this present moment, I ask you to freely writeyour thoughts on paper including all your fears and negative feelingsregarding any situations you are still holding on to.
Remembering a memory is powerful; in any situation, no matterwhat it is, you should always embrace open communication and openmemories.
Talking about our memories helps us understand and recognise whowe are, what we have learnt, and what we accept for our future lives.Memories are in the past; they are the purest reactions of you.
Memories are beautiful; cherish them.
If you meet a soul who gives you problems as you relive memoriesabout him or her, that person doesn't deserve you.
We are born pure, content, and loving. We are all the same—filledwith acceptance, harmony, and grace.
Each one of us has different lessons and guidance embedded into ourminds and thought processes. So as we age, we all deal with differentexperiences in such different ways. This is no reason to give up on ourfutures or to use a tough past as an excuse. Everything that happens toeach and every one of us is a lesson—either a karmic rebirth or a lessonthat will change our minds and help us reach a higher consciousness.
We are all on this earth together—not in competition with oneanother, but to congregate together as one with the loving energy, weall need to heal in this life.
We are all on a journey to complete our souls, to recognise that weare here on earth to feel pure and loving.
There are many ways to start to recognise your emotions and feelings.(Must I state that it is okay to know how you are feeling? Who are youto ignore your own emotions? Always remember that we attract whatwe are.)
Art is one of the many ways to tap into self-discovery; it allows yourconscious mind and your subconscious to work as one.
Write a dream on paper and imagine optimism in the now and forthe future.
What has come of your past and all the lessons you've encountered?Moreover, how much have you grown from these experiences? Onceyou start recognising your emotions from a higher perspective, steppingoutside your own mind, you can get a clear indication of what needsattention and what you should dismiss. The key you hold will now openyou up to many deep discoveries.
* * *
All of us would succeed in lifeif we lived through our hearts filled with love.Escape the hate that fills your state of being, your mind, and your soul.Live in freedom and peace, and create who you wish to be.
* * *
Task 1: Dream Board
In this first chapter, I want you to start a dream board. If you havenever heard of a dream board before, it is a paper design onto which youplace images of your heart's desires, your dreams, and the things thatfulfil you. It is like a bucket list without including possessions you mustacquire. It is a tool you can use in order to enrich your soul and imaginewhat you want to find within yourself.
A dream board can be any size, shape, or colour, as long as it issomething you love.
In each chapter, I will be asking you to complete a task to put onthis dream board. At the end of the book, you will have not only theknowledge the book offers but a beautiful board as a reminder that youare heading toward your destiny.
I also wish you to write a board on your feelings—all the feelingsinside you. Please be honest with yourself; you can never truly heal ifyou deny the fact that you are not perfect.
No one is. Perfection lies in the ability to see through our weaknessesand faults and to love ourselves entirely.
Finish this board with one saying. You might consider starting ajournal. So that each chapter helps illuminate the past, you can writedown the truest emotions you felt at the time so you can look back onthem.
* * *
Recognise
When you recognise an emotion deep within your soul,
Nothing can take the pain away, and you start to feel lost.Remember, you are already winning by seeing the emotion as it is.
No more denying your truths; you cannot run from this.
Seeing all your feelings and recognising them as they are,You are already on the journey of self-discovery, so congratulateyourself on your efforts so far.
Understand
When you have come to recognise your emotions and whereyou stand within yourself, you can slowly unravel the manylayers of who you truly are.
Understanding does not stop at knowing why you got called intowork today when you have just worked ten days straight, or why youwere just involved in an accident that was caused by another party yetyou have to foot the bill.
Understanding is a deep connection to our minds, bodies, and souls,in which we lie centred and pure throughout all our circumstances.
When you have an understanding of why you are feeling the wayyou do—why you are angry, hurt, or sad and life is not working out theway you want—right there is where you will stop!
By trying to understand why you feel the way you feel, you are alreadytwo steps ahead of yourself. Ask many questions until you come to anunderstanding of why. Maybe the answer is to take yourself away from thesituation and realise that everything happens in its own divine timing.
Sometimes this process can take weeks or even years to fulfil; butalways understand that you are already on the journey by picking upthis book.
* * *
You know, when I was sitting here writing this, I slowly had adisbelief in myself that I would never be a writer, even though writingwas the only thing that flowed so naturally from the tips of my fingers.Many nights I would sit and write and write, until one night came; Iopened my computer screen. I had no idea what I was about to write andlet my fingers do the work. Now here you are reading my dream.
* * *
Self-discovery is a challenge; it's a challenge that involves self-understandingand self-love and feeling a sense of contented peacewithin yourself.
When you reach the point of peace and unity with your mind, body,and soul, you will understand that you have a choice in every aspect ofyour life. Yes, negative influences will always try to nibble their wayinto your light. But in the end, what matters is how you react when thesituations unfold. We all have the option to choose to understand life alittle more to its core, a little more towards ourselves, and a little morewithin the earth.
Understanding is more about realising who you are than realisingwhat you want.
Understanding is one step closer to acceptance. When we have adeeper understanding, we choose to react less and less to the negativeimpacts in our lives. We create our own beings. We can enlighten ourown knowledge as to what we wish our lives to be.
Do you find yourself often wondering why we do things that bringforth many different emotions from our souls? Why do we have to hurtwhen we could love? Why do some smile when there's nothing to smileabout? Each soul on this earth is different, yet we have one capabilitythat is identical—love, and through love, we can be contented with life'sraw triggers and tests.
As we understand, we learn never to regret our actions but rather toaccept all wrongdoings as a lesson. So often, our actions are misguided,and this world can be too black and white.
There is no wrong versus right in this world, only ego against soul,war against love, and truth against deceit. Every choice we make leadsus to our destiny; whether you're on the long road or the short road, youare always where you're meant to be at that exact moment.
Where would we find any rhythm of true peace that resembles theegotistical, impatient side of most of life's occurrences? So often, we sitand misjudge before we give ourselves the opportunity to understand. Weare forever going back and forth within our egos and souls, whilst goingthrough cleansing in our life. But has this happened many times? Trustme, I understand. I know exactly the pain you are going through. Life wasnever meant to be easy; it was always only meant to be worth it.
Understanding is slow, and it is patient; it is also truthful and loving.When you understand yourself and why you cause actions and reactionsto outside occurrences, you can understand how to better your existencewith love, to free your mind, and to allow the true essence of your soulto excel.
There is always a deeper knowing—an understanding of destinyright before our eyes. I give my blessing for you to use this tool wiselyin life; let it be your true best friend.
* * *
Understanding others may feel a blessing, but understandingthyself brings contentment.
* * *
Let the sun rise again; let the moon whisper your fate.Let the sea wash its waves among your gate.Time is too short, the wind so strong;Allow your truth to guide you to where you belong.
* * *
So many situations arise that cause us to sit and ponder for hours,replaying circumstances over and over in our minds, trying to understandwhy this has occurred. The sooner we learn the patience we need to bein the now, the sooner we will understand ourselves. We open ourthoughts to a higher knowing—a knowing how to understand situationsand accept them without judgement. We accept that, sometimes, lifehas its own way of knowing what we should be doing with our lives andhow. Open your heart; you will hear!
By learning to understand yourself, you are reaching into the coreof knowing, and this can allow you the healing time you need in orderto come to terms with what is occurring inside your soul.
At this time, allowing others to have an input is wise; All you needto remember is that your heart is your truth. You are in control of whatyou understand and how much you wish to deserve in life.
* * *
My intuition keeps nudging me to add this part in. Something verymysterious happened as I was writing this chapter. All I could think about waswriting. I was going through yet another drastic change in my life, and suddenlymy laptop charger was nowhere to be seen. This was a lesson to trust my ownabilities to make a better future. I am strong, I am grateful, and I am beautiful.
As the week went on, my charger was still missing. I was anxious forthe week ahead, unsure as to why my charger had gone missing at that exactmoment. Following the consistent guidance of circumstances, I now sat thereand understood.
Life hurts us, it rearranges us, and it tears us down and lifts us up.There is a deeper knowing to everything that occurs in your life—adeeper knowledge about the lessons you are learning over and over againor the lessons that are new to your world.
This journey of understanding yourself is one of the trickiest voyagesyou'll ever come across. You can control yourself and learn to accept whatyou can't control; you must be patient. Walk toward your dreams; don'trush for the finish line. Finding the answers doesn't involve rushing. Ifwe look closely enough, we will see the answers slowly unfolding beforeour eyes. To understand this is to feel that your life is blessed by yourpresence.
* * *
Yesterday was clever; I wanted to change the world.Today I am clever, so I'm changing myself.
* * *
Task 2: Journal
For this chapter's task, I want you to write to yourself. Start ajournal, as well as your dream board. I want you to write and drawanything and everything that comes to mind about the hardships thathave occurred in your life so far. Then I want you to write down a singlereason why you should have given up when you were enduring thesehardships. Some of your answers will be quite confrontational. Someyou will want to hide from yourself. You will never heal completely ifyou don't love yourself entirely.
* * *
Understand
If you want to awaken happiness in your world, you must start byliving a life that makes you happy and then radiateyour happiness outward.If you want to eliminate suffering in the world, you must start byeliminating the negative parts of yourself and thenradiate positivity outward.Truly, the greatest power you have in this world is the powerof your own self-transformation.It all starts with the man or woman in the mirror.
Control
Control, freedom, and inner peace
I have come to a realisation at a young age that nothing outside ofourselves is within our control. We can allow or deny another'swords or actions to create us or destroy us. We can allow anotherthe ability to change us or make us. Whether or not we give others thispower is our choice; it is under our control, and it is a decision we mustmake.
Many must go through a darkness of truths. Many give up beforethey have learnt the lessons a situation has to offer. And many believethey have found their potential and there is no more to learn. There isalways more to learn, always more to realise, always more to know aboutthis dimension we all call life.
The truth is no one will ever stop growing. The moment you feelcontent with everything around you is the moment you will stagnate.Life is evolution, and evolution is life.
Excerpted from Once a Girl, Now a Woman by Nikki Rowe. Copyright © 2013 Nikki Rowe. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
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