Never Say Never, Never Say Always : Reflections on Love, Loss, and Loving Again

“Moving Forward, But Not Moving On”

Susan S. Warner had a storybook marriage of 38 years and two magnificent children. She existed in the comfort of an extraordinary cocoon of family and friends. And then the unimaginable happened—the devastating suicide of her 32-year-old son, followed six months later with the death of her husband to a virulent cancer eight weeks after his diagnosis. How did she survive this catastrophic loss and find happiness again?

Susan’s story takes you on her journey to acceptance, pushing on and not being defined by societal norms. It’s a journey of self-discovery, self-actualization and ultimately working to live her best life, her way. And while she has moved forward, she has not moved on from her son and husband, who are part of this journey — keeping their memories alive has helped her heal.

By sharing her story, she hopes to help others who have suffered loss – loss of a spouse, a child, a friend, a parent, a sibling—understand that with loss, life doesn’t have to end, and it doesn’t need to define them. Everyone deserves happiness. However, happiness is not to be found, but to be made. The path to the next chapters of life can be empowering and exciting.

Praise for Never Say Never, Never Say Always

We all experience loss at some point or another, but each experience of grief is as unique as the person who died and the person grappling with that death. This is why stories of loss, like Susan S. Warner’s “Never Say Never, Never Say Always,” are so important. In struggling through the shocking and criminal death of my sister, I pushed the many offered platitudes aside and found meaningful comfort in the other people’s stories of dealing with loss. Knowing that other people have also felt lost themselves in that deep well of sadness–that’s where the comfort is. It’s knowing we’re not alone as grief challenges and changes us.

Warner so generously shares the raw emotion of her journey after losing her son and then her husband in devastating succession. Hers is the type of scenario that we might imagine we would never recover from. And yet, she does. She describes so clearly how the grief process is not about learning how to move on but learning how to move with the loss. She says, “I am comfortable accepting that great love affairs never end. Although they may change in body and structure, they exist all time… Understanding that I don’t need to erase my past, but find a comfortable place for it, keeps me whole.”

“Never Say Never, Never Say Always,” is a beautiful and brave read in which Warner offers help, healing, and hope for anyone grappling with loss.

~ Jean Brown, co-author of “This Sweet Life: how we lived after Kirby died”

Susan Warner knows all too well the truth that bad things happen to good people. Jewish tradition has forever faced the reality that this is not a matter of if, but when, for each of us. You do not have to have faced the tragedies that Susan has, to benefit from her grace and wisdom. Anyone interested in living a full and expansive life should read her story. She has increased my capacity to face the morrow with humility, joy, and hope.
~Rabbi Maurice A. Salth, Central Synagogue, New York City

There are no words to describe the monumental challenges Susan Warner has overcome. Never before have I seen a person handle a double devastating blow to the heart, and push through life as though she was chosen to live this. My admiration for this family goes beyond words. I encourage you to dive into this story simply to realize there is a way through anything, you just have to believe.

~Stacey Griffith, master Soul Cycle instructor, author of Two Turns From Zero Energize