I Never Said I Loved You

'I Never Said I Love You is one of the most electric, enchanting, engrossing and energising memoirs of self-harm, self-loathing, grief, eating disorders, suicide - and sex - that you will read.'
The Sunday Times

'Indecently entertaining... one of the most uplifting and eccentric memoirs I have ever read.' Observer

'Brutally honest and relentlessly funny.' Adam Kay, author of 'This is Going to Hurt'

'A brilliant memoir full of gasp-inducing honesty about depression and family and taking control of your own pain. Funny, sad, hopeful, I Never Said I Loved You is an irresistible, strangely empowering read.' Matt Haig

'This mind-blowingly wonderful memoir had me convulsing with laughter even while my heart was breaking. It's utterly effing BEAUTIFUL.' Marian Keyes

'I found myself blindsided by this extraordinary book ... I was deeply moved by its capacity both to depict pain, and offer consolation. I loved it, and won't ever forget it.' Sarah Perry

'Both touching and funny' the Telegraph

On an unlikely backpacking trip, Rhik and his mother find themselves speaking openly for the first time in years. Afterwards, the depression that has weighed down on Rhik begins to loosen its grip for a moment - so he seizes the opportunity: to own it, to understand it, and to find out where it came from.

Through this begins a journey of investigation, healing and recovery. Along the way Rhik learns some shocking truths about his family, and realizes that, in turn, he will need to confront the secrets he has long buried. But through this, he triumphs over his fears and brings his depression into the light.

I Never Said I Loved You is the story of how Rhik learned to let go, and then keep going. With unique humour and honesty, he has created a powerfully rich, funny and poignant exploration of the light and dark in all of us.

A vital, moving and darkly funny memoir by a powerful new voice in non-fiction.

'Both unputdownable and beautifully-written, bracing and consoling. A book that tackles mental health and the darkest things with razor-sharp wit and mordant laughs aplenty ... read this.' Sharlene Teo

'Touching, funny, wildly readable ... Look out for it.' Sathnam Sanghera

'No one writes better, or more sweetly, about how it feels to feel. Even the darkest times are shot through with glorious, bright beams of wit.' Janet Ellis

'It's honest and funny (and beautifully painful and brutal at times), but also - oh goodness - it's so elegant. The writing is graceful and kind, even when it hurts a little to remember it's a memoir.' Joanna Cannon

'Equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking. What an absolutely riveting read.' Nikita Gill

'Heartbreaking, funny, raw, brave and - yes! - even better than the egg thing.' Erin Kelly

'I have always loved Rhik Samadder's writing. And now there's a whole book!' Jessie Burton

'A sparkling, thoughtful memoir. It manages to be witty, charming, brooding and devastating all the same time.' Justin Myers, The Guyliner

Rhik is a writer, actor and broadcaster. He has a regular column with The Guardian and created their cult 'Inspect a Gadget' feature. He has written for The Observer, Men's Health and Prospect magazine, as well as being a guest, presenter and host on various radio shows. Rhik studied acting at Drama Centre London and appeared on HBO, BBC, ITV, C4 (credits including Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Doctors) as well as a lead role with the RSC.