How are you still standing? That’s the question everyone asks Janice Barnes—and for good reason. From surviving multiple adoptions, childhood abuse, and emotional abandonment, to weathering divorce, betrayal, and heartbreak, Janice has lived through more trauma than most could ever imagine. But somehow… she’s still here.

Not My Monkey, Not My Circus is a raw, real, and remarkably uplifting collection of stories that trace Janice’s lifelong journey from being the "hidden baby" no one wanted to talk about, to the powerful, resilient woman who finally found—and used—her voice.

Told with wit, grit, and unshakable honesty, this book peels back the curtain on a life filled with chaos, control, heartbreak, and healing. You’ll meet the girl forced to play piano instead of guitar, the teen kicked out with a sleeping bag and a pillow, the young mom doing everything to break the cycle, and the woman who finally said, “No more.”

Through her collection of heartfelt and sometimes hilarious personal stories—from a hospital stay after drowning at camp to the unforgettable “Can I swallow the raisin now?” meditation—Janice shows us what it truly means to survive, to rebuild, and to find strength in the face of relentless adversity.

This book is not just a memoir—it’s a beacon of hope. A voice for those who’ve felt voiceless. A mirror for those trying to hold it together. And a message that says: You are not alone—and you can get through this.

Whether you’re dealing with loss, betrayal, burnout, or just life’s everyday chaos, Janice’s story will make you laugh, cry, and most of all, believe in your own resilience.

🌟 Testimonials / Endorsements:
1. "Raw. Real. Remarkable."

“I couldn’t put this book down. Every story hit me in the heart—some made me cry, others made me laugh out loud. Janice Barnes has a way of sharing the heaviest topics with grace and even humor. Her strength is contagious. I felt like she was telling my story too. This book reminded me that no matter what life throws at me, I can stand back up.”
— Michelle R., reader & survivor

2. "A voice for those who have been silenced."

“This book gave me permission to stop pretending everything is fine. Janice’s story helped me realize I’m not the only one who’s felt helpless, lost, or invisible. She’s been through things I can’t even imagine—and yet, she still shows up, still laughs, still loves. This book is a must-read for anyone who’s ever felt like giving up.”
— Erin L., single mom & reader

3. "Like sitting down with your fiercest, funniest, most badass friend."

“Reading this book felt like having coffee with a wise, sassy girlfriend who’s been through the fire and came out stronger. Janice’s stories are inspiring and deeply human, filled with vulnerability, strength, and just the right amount of ‘WTF?!’ Her message is clear: you can survive. You will survive. And even in the chaos, you’re allowed to laugh.”
— Tamara D., counselor & trauma support worker

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We first started out as ?The Paperback Exchange,? a chain of physical bookstores where we would part exchange your beloved books for new stories to transport you to faraway places. However, as shopping started to evolve to online shops and marketplaces, we bid our stores goodbye to become ?PBShop.? This transition has only allowed us to blossom as we now ship thousands of titles to book lovers across the globe. We pride ourselves in being a community of local book lovers which allows our passion and devotion to shine in everything we do. In 2020 we not only celebrated our 20th birthday but our 1st birthday as being completely employee owned after becoming an E.O.T in September 2019. We are proud to be different and embrace standing apart on a book mountain by working from a virtual inventory which allows us to provide thousands of books that may be difficult to get for your bookshelf or your studies. Working with a number of different suppliers allows us to explore other avenues such as puzzles, sheet music and even stationery so we really do have something for everyone. Life is about being versatile in all realms of existence. If this is your first visit or you are a returning customer, we would like to welcome you to the PBShop family, for there is no friend as loyal as a book. We are a company who put our customers at the centre of everything we do as we understand the importance of reading because once you learn to read, you will forever be free. There are a whole lot of things in this world of ours that we are yet to explore, which is why we will forever inspire curious minds.

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