The Battle Within

To set out boldly in our work is to make a pilgrimage of our labors, to understand that the consummation of work lies not only in what we have done, but who we have become while accomplishing the task.

—David Whyte, Crossing the Unknown Sea

Your success as a CEO depends on your ability to make good assessments of situations, develop sound plans and strategies, move decisively to actions having positive outcomes, effectively deal with people—and do so over extended periods of time. You must focus on what is crucial while faced with the flow of huge amounts of information and multiple often-competing business, interpersonal, and personal pressures.

To consistently pull this off, you must excel at being able to have your wits about you so you can be focused, in command, and able to make wise decisions at any moment. Psychologists call this being in your ideal executive performance state. You may find it more useful to think of it as being able to stay cool in the executive hot seat. In order for you to do that quickly and reliably, you need to master the most important and greatest challenge you face every day: managing your mind-body operating system—with its biological, psychological, social, and spiritual needs.

The importance of your mind-body operating system is obvious. As the source of all functional capacities, the mind-body needs to be performing optimally to produce the best output. What makes this the greatest challenge? The short answer is that there is an inherent conflict that exists for most CEOs: on one side is their inclination to be focused on the demands of leadership and the pressure to take action, while on the other side, there is the need to monitor and manage their fundamental human needs in order to function at their best.

The struggle that ensues is dramatically captured in the movie The Defiant Ones, starring Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis as two escaped convicts who are shackled together. Both want to be free, but each wants to dominate the other. So their arguments with one another undermine their forward progress. Eventually they come to the realization that in order for them to succeed in their primary goal, they must find ways to cooperate. Once the chains are removed, their efforts to dominate have been transformed into partnership and respect.

In the business world, we often think of this struggle in the context of a supervisor and a staff member, where there may be tension between the work expectations of the former and the personal needs of the latter. However, when you are the CEO, the struggle takes place within yourself. In your "inner drama," the supervisor side of you is putting pressure on the worker side to work faster-harder-longer-better to meet various company goals. The worker side may need:

• more time for all the work that goes into leading well (to get additional information, to thoughtfully consider options, to manage the various competing demands),

• time to rest when you are mentally or physically weary,

• a reduction in hours to deal with a pressing family matter.

The tension between these two facets of yourself will never completely go away. Left unmanaged, this is by far the greatest source of distress there is. Yet by coming to terms with that reality and accepting ownership for managing it, you can direct your efforts toward mastery. Then you can expect to perform optimally and do what it actually takes to have a good life.

Here is how David Whyte, whose insightful writings about the challenges of integrating one's soul into the workplace and managing the interface between self, work, and relationships, eloquently captures the challenge.

Work is a constant conversation. It is the back and forth between what I think is me and what I think is not me; it is the edge between what the world needs of me and what I need of the world. Like the person to whom I am committed in a relationship, it is constantly changing and surprising me by its demands and needs but also where it leads me, how much it teaches me, and especially, by how much tact, patience and maturity it demands of me.

To help your conversations go better, you need a working understanding of the two sides. We start with a synopsis of what it means to function well as a CEO (your output) and what it takes to function optimally (your input). As the book evolves, you will learn specific skills that are keys to your mastery of the challenge.

Becoming a Wise Leader

The CEO's Performance

The frame of reference for the guidelines I provide is based upon a vision of the CEO as a wise leader—"doing the right thing, in the right way, and against the right time frame." To accomplish that, the CEO's overriding task is to determine "what is happening to and in the organization, apply appropriate perspective and planning to decide what to do, and then to act in an appropriate and determined way."

The CEO's Mind

Not surprisingly, the basic brain functions that enable the CEO to achieve these outcomes are called the executive functions of the mind (see figure 1.1). They are neurologically based mental skills that enable you to supervise yourself and to coordinate and direct your efforts to achieve a goal.

Six Essential Resources for the Executive

With these executive brain functions in place, you have the basic tools needed to be fully functional. In order to optimize the use of those capacities, you must have the resources summarized below. You also need reliable methods to monitor and manage these essential resources, the subject of later chapters.

* Efficient Operating System. You must keep your basic machinery functioning well, and this requires you to have reliable and efficient strategies to regulate and replenish your energy stores. Despite being under continual pressure to expend energy, you can only function at your best if you are attentive to the core biopsychological necessities of your mind-body operating system. To maintain your operating system, you need to effectively set limits on the demands made of you and have good ways to restore your energy.

* Executive Cool. You must maintain your composure in the face of the often overwhelming pressures you face as CEO. You must be able to gather information and deliberate on the best course of action, even in the face of pressing demands. This requires being able to stay aligned with your role functions, contain your emotions, and make a quick recovery when you lose your cool.

* Mental Prowess. You must work effectively, be creative, and use good judgment when making decisions. This requires the ability to disengage from the pressures to get perspective, including input from others, and necessitates having systems in place that allow you to keep your brain and body fully charged.

* Supportive Relationships. You must create an optimal work environment with others in order to achieve your goals and maintain a sense of well-being. To do so, you must master interpersonal and communication skills, know how to develop key supportive relationships, and have strategies for getting the most from your relationships while setting appropriate limits on interpersonal demands.

* Workflow Management Skills. You must engage your daily work pressures in a manner that enables focus on those leadership functions that only you can do. This requires a mindset and a set of skills that guide you in your efforts to prioritize tasks and plan for who will accomplish them and when.

* Sustainable Practices. You must be able to manage your resources with a focus on functioning consistently well over time. To do so, you must have the self-wisdom to know your own needs and you must reliably use the self-care practices that meet them. It also necessitates that you conduct yourself in a manner that is congruent with your most important values.

Malfunction Junction

Most executives proclaim that they value taking good care of themselves and their resources, yet many tend to lose sight of this perspective. There are many reasons that this can happen.

Blinded by Ambition. Think about the traits that define most CEOs. They generally share a deep belief in their capacity to get results, a strong capacity to focus, and the determination to do whatever it takes to achieve their objectives.

Often referred to as having a type-A personality, most people who become CEOs are so driven to achieve their business goals that they neglect the cost of their highly driven behavior. The light shines so brightly on the road to business success that they neglect to take the car off the road long enough for refueling and basic maintenance. At some point, the neglect catches up with them and they end up at malfunction junction, surprised their vehicle has broken down.

This all makes sense when you understand the experience of such people. For most CEOs, work is a career, not a job. They get a deep sense of fulfillment from their careers. In fact, many find their job energizing and often prefer career-related matters to other activities in life, including rest. This makes them chronically vulnerable to depletion of their resources.

For many people striving to become a high-level executive, or for those new to the role, self-care and self-management are too often matters for which they do not have time. The experience of absorption into their work is deep, powerful, and compelling. With work as the center of their focus and the domain in which they spend the bulk of their time and energy, other aspects of life naturally get less attention. Often this is not so much a conscious decision but an omission that happens naturally and insidiously. They do not realize the needs they are neglecting are taking their toll. By the time the neglected areas reach their awareness, they are forced to deal with them because of a breakdown that causes an unplanned and significant interruption in work. This contributes to the misguided notion that managing one's needs and pressure are energy hogs!

Lack of Skills. There is a paradox that often exists for people who are good at managing business matters: they are good at taking charge of external problems but weak at managing their own needs. They are so results-oriented and focused on the bottom line that they do not want to be bothered by self-care. What they really want is a maintenance-free mind-body-spirit-relationship system that is reliable, efficient, and maintains a low profile.

Drawn to the Familiar. For many executives, the more they are drawn into the business world the further removed they become from nonwork aspects of life. They are prone to overvaluing the benefits of business, where they feel more competent and in control. Their greater sense of comfort, familiarity, and mastery within the business domain can set up an even stronger drift away from their other needs. Even when they sense something is troubling them, their tendency is to do what they do best, which is to focus even more on work. Downplaying the role of personal and social needs, they tend to override personal sources of frustration.

Poor Models. The challenge is further complicated by the fact that many CEOs lack good models for coping with pressures, either from the business world or in their personal lives. Even in the media, the images of public figures and successful high-level CEOs are often of those who are driven by ambition and the need for power, arrogance, and entitlement. The not-so-public costs of ambition-gone-awry show up behind closed doors. That is where the erosion of marriages, families, health, and life fulfillment happen—while the neighbors envy the appearance of success.

Hidden Costs

There is a price that must be paid somewhere for neglecting self-care. People who are blinded by ambition unwittingly create the conditions where they are operating on an ever-increasing deficit of personal resources. As their energy becomes depleted, the executive functions of the mind are compromised.

Typically, this process and the price is hidden until it shows up as an erosion of an individual's usual mode of operation. As a person's resources run low, you may see deteriorating work performance, difficulty concentrating, poor decisions, and irritability. Work and personal relationships, as well as health, suffer. Determined to succeed, a person who is depleted is more vulnerable to quick fixes that are harmful in the long run, such as an overreliance on food, alcohol, medications, and other substances. The conditions gradually ripen for an intensified conflict between the work pressures and personal needs. As matters deteriorate, the individual unwittingly precipitates a serious mess up at work, or a personal health or relationship problem—the proverbial wakeup call—which then must be given attention. The worst-case scenario is burnout.

The tendency to need the wakeup call is an interesting side of human nature. It is especially notable when you contrast it with how much more mindful people often are of the maintenance requirements of their automobiles, which have replaceable parts. Expensive? Yes, but replaceable nonetheless. The machinery of our mind-body-spirit system, though somewhat resilient, does not have replaceable parts. The cost of breakdowns? Often immeasurable! And what of the erosion of primary personal relationships with life partners and children? The antidote? Make self-management high-level priorities.

Prioritizing Self-Management

Neither business experience nor traditional business education offer the training you need to master the art of managing yourself. This book is designed to help you learn to manage and care for yourself so you can operate from a position of inner composure, strength, competence, and health. Stephen Covey put it well: "This is the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life—investment in ourselves, in the one instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute. We are the instruments of our own performance, and to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking the time regularly to sharpen the saw."

Valuing Your Most Vital Employe

Successful CEOs are deeply invested in performing at their best each day and over the long haul. They know they must be able to sustain optimal functioning over the ever-changing landscape of their careers and life. They do not tolerate functioning poorly and certainly have little patience for repeatedly making the same mistakes or for putting up with things that distract their attention or drain their good energy. Consequently, they actively seek better ways to take care of their basic needs and to manage the pressures of their work and personal life.

The smart way for you to develop your career is to make self-management a high priority early in your career so it becomes a natural and routine part of your lifestyle. Once it becomes your new default mode, you will automatically apply the skills presented in this book at times of increased pressure. In this way, you both buffer yourself from the downward spiral often associated with stress and increase your capacity to handle it better.

Mastering Your Greatest Challenge

Your greatest challenge, is, like Max in Where the Wild Things Are, to become the master of your inner wild parts—you must learn to tame the part of you that threatens to go after work goals with such abandon that you neglect the signs that your personal resources are running low. Mastering the challenge offsets the risk that a neglected need will become dominate over your ambition, such as a medical or relationship crisis. It also improves your work performance by the augmented energy from the synergy amongst the key aspects of work, self, and relationships.

For you to take on and sustain the challenge, you must be convinced that your current level of performance and satisfaction are at risk of suffering due to inadequate resources; you can integrate the methods in this book into your lifestyle so they become a natural part of how you conduct yourself; and the resulting synergy will prove to be a high return on your investment. You will need to read on and apply the methods to accomplish that.