CHAPTER 1
How can I be male and female?
You came from a man and a woman
Even though I received what I share with you in this bookas a vision, I was always looking for information that wouldvalidate it more physically.
About seven years ago, a series of events drew me to theBible. As I opened my mind to the Bible I was amazed tofind truths that had been detailed there all along. The Bibleunveiled its cover as the most profound self-help tool everproduced.
A point in the making is my irritation at something Jesusconstantly says. I often felt irritated that every time Jesusspoke about a person, regardless of a man or woman, healways referred to them as a 'son of God'.
As a woman I felt very invalidated.
Though irritated, wisdom prompted me to reconsider thatGod made woman and he loves every one of his children, sosomewhere there was something I was missing.
In time, I came to understand how vital God valued thefemale. His creation started with plants, progressed toanimals, and then to male as he created Adam. God himselfconcluded this wasn't enough and went on to create thefemale, Eve. It was then that he concluded his creation wascomplete!
I looked at the process in which Adam and Eve were created,and this is what it says in Genesis 2:21-23:
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall uponAdam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or apart of his side and closed up the place with flesh. Andthe rib or part of his side which the Lord God had takenfrom the man, He built up and made into a womanand He brought her to the man. Then Adam said, thiscreature is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;she shall be called Woman, because she was taken outof a man.
As woman came out of man and is part of man (and theynow produce children) it is evident that every child containsmale and female.
Regardless of the fact that we manifest physically in onegender or the other, we are still both energies. As Godcreated it that way, it must be for a very important reason.God never created anything without it being necessary to thesuccess of his plan.
If we look back in Genesis 2:18, God says:
It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man shouldbe alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted,complementary) for him.
God (our creator) makes it clear that if operating under maleenergy only we will start to feel alone and that the female inus suits the male side of us and is a complement and a helper.
That said, we can see that the female will not only help usto bring our power (which you will learn is male) into forcebut the female is also a complement. The dictionary defines acomplement as 'something that completes or makes perfect'.
The true dynamic of how we prosper starts to reveal itself.
Why do we manifest as only one gender?
Earth is a physical reality. In order for us to fully understandthe science and nature of how everything works together,everything has a specific function which can be seen. Wecan see the behaviour of everything around us as a physicalmetaphor showing us the pattern of how things thrive,evolve, and change.
Our instincts as humans drive us to create things whichmirror how we have been designed to experience things.
Our home is a perfect example. We instinctively start toseparate rooms for specific experiences because our mindworks that way. Sleeping, eating, and releasing waste areseparate functions within our body; therefore, the physicalworld naturally dictates that we separate them. Hence, wehave a bathroom for relieving waste and cleansing, a kitchenfor preparing nourishment, a sitting room for centringourselves and relaxing, etc.
The same can be said for man and woman. God wanted tohelp us understand the unique qualities of each. Having usborn as one gender or the other enables us to understand themmore literally and in detail.
You have probably observed that it is easier to see somethingor validate it when it is happening to someone else or inessence outside of yourself primarily because we are devoidof the emotional attachment which can cause resistance.
The separating of the male and female is designed accordinglyto enable us to see the nature of our characteristics and helpus relate to them more effectively.
As we operate under the law of attraction we attract to us aprecise reflection of the energies within us so we can see therelationship being played out; men and women play out therole operating within us. The intensification of one gender orthe other enables us to see the attributes in a focused, moreclear way.
You don't have to have lived long to observe the diversitybetween men and women. If you are in a relationshipwith your other gender, you have probably cried out indesperation, wondering why you are so different. However,it is essentially our misunderstanding of the other genderand how we are to interact with them that is leading to somuch pain and frustration.
The best way to simplify the power and the purpose of eachand why it is there is to use a simple analogy of life as ajourney.
CHAPTER 2
Understanding how your genders work
The manifestation of your highest fulfilment will require allof you. There is a vision for your life (potential) and that willrequire action (physical power).
Simply put, female represents potential and male representspower.
To explain how they can work together despite how differentthey are, let me explain the analogy.
A journey requires the use of a car and a map to reacha destination. A car and a map are completely differententities. Each functions differently; however, when usedtogether on a mission, they are a great success, just like themale and female within us. We need both sides of ourselvesto get where we are destined to go.
Any experience you want to achieve in your life will requirea desire, a vision (map), and a means to achieve it (vehicle).
In practical terms of course, the destination we are usingin the analogy is an experience, i.e. more money, satisfyingcareer, healthy body, happy marriage, etc.
Using this analogy, the male mirrors the characteristics ofthe car and the female mirrors the map.
Like any journey, a powerful car with no destination is asfruitless as a map (or more currently, a GPS system) and notransport!
If we look a little more closely at this analogy you can seethat:
• the car represents the POWER (physical transportation)and
• the map represents the POTENTIAL (experience orfeeling) in the situation.
In conclusion, the most important point to retain is this:
• your male determines whether you will make ithappen (or not) and how fast, and
• your female determines what kind of experience/feeling you will have.
In any given situation you have the power to make it happen(male/power) and the ability to have an extraordinaryexperience (female/potential).
Think male (physical), female (non-physical)
Note: I encourage you to read over what I have just said untilyou naturally see male (as the power to make it happen) and thefemale (as how it will all feel).
Let me give a quick example of this in practical terms, usingmale and female.
Example—your career
The male drives your actions to get the job whilst how you feelin the job is a reflection of how the female is behaving. It isimportant to break these roles down because when you wantto pinpoint a problem you will always need to know, 'Is theproblem that I am unable to make it happen or that now I havemade it happen, the experience is lousy?'
This dynamic is present in everything you do already, butprior to reading this book you probably had no idea thatdifferent aspects of you were pushing the buttons.
Perhaps you are feeling out of control and disappointedby your lot in life; that's because the relationship within isin some kind of distress and confusion. I believe once youhave finished this book, you will feel so empowered. Youwill come to realise that most of your disillusionment andfeelings of powerlessness were anchored by a misperceptionthat people were separate, and therefore, any hope of controlover them was futile.
I do hasten to add here that life is never one long picnicno matter how much of your destiny you fulfil; there willalways be a period of deconstruction as the old reality breaksaway, making way for a new experience. That renewal canseem like failure as things look like they are falling apart, butthe renewal (if based on behaviour using the spiritual laws)will thrive again and no doubt more abundantly (if that iswhat you have been fostering in your imagination and yourspeech).
Let's take another example, making a dental appointment.
• Whether you actually make the appointmentdetermines the condition of your male aspect, and
• What kind of experience you have and how you feeldetermines the condition of your female.
The beauty of understanding this relationship and the powerin your hands is that while this is happening inside, you arenow able to see everything about this relationship on theoutside so you can make adjustments. You literally get tomeet your man and woman inside through other people; Iwill explain how you process this information later but fornow think, Men give me a status report on my power, and womengive a status report on my potential.
Note: Should your imagination run away with you for amoment such that you start make assumptions that if yourpartner or people around you aren't changing that you arenot changing, please stop and relax. People do not determineyour destiny, and I will put your mind at rest in the nextchapter.
The next important step is to recognise how to read theimpulses from your male (power) and female (potential) soyou can see your consciousness and where any conflict lies.
CHAPTER 3
Harmonising the male and female within
Now that you understand that there is a man and womaninside of you, the need to understand them and get alongcan't be so easily dismissed as it might have before. Whilein the past you may have given up trying to understand theopposite sex or even believe they can be understood, now yourealise that you need to understand and discern them in orderto help you live happily; you now have a new perspective onhalf of you that you didn't even know existed!
The most important question needing to be answered is,How do I see these sides of myself and have them worktogether? How can I actually harmonise what I can't see?
Seeing your power and potential in action
The exercise that changes your life and manages your maleand female to win daily
I am now going to arm you with an almost x-ray vision ofyourself. This is a switch in your perception that will releaseyou from most feelings of helplessness and disillusionment.The bottom line is that you are the one with the truth insideyou; you hold the keys to the truth in your heart. Nobodyknows this but you, and nobody knows your destiny but youand God. This exercise helps you follow the dots; it's yourunique guidance system.
I must add a disclaimer here about your dreams and the lifeyou were created to live. When we embark on marrying all ofourselves we break into unchartered territory. Life presentsexperiences we didn't anticipate, and we may also argue thatwe didn't want them. However, keep in mind that you aremaking decisions based on your relationship with your currentself, and so it is wise to accept that things need to be different;if they stay the same, then you will live more of the sameexperience, and whilst the experiences may not have beenanticipated in any way you recall, have faith in the process.
Trust the creative process, trust yourself.
Self-discovery is like baking a cake; we must stick with theingredients and the recipe UNTIL the cake is ready. Whilstin the process, things can look quite messy.
Life is a work in progress however it is being driven byenergy forming itself into situations and experiences. We arethe guiding force of those instructions. Everything on earthis magnetic in that we attract that which is going on within.
If you have ever held two magnets and tried to push the twonorth ends together, you will have felt how they repel eachother; no matter how much you try to get them to attract andcome together, they push each other away.
This is the dynamic which is happening in your life whenyour power and potential repel each other, but you probablydon't quite remember where and how you are doing this.
The only force able to alter the power and direction of thatforce is God; outside of prayer, the natural laws will workthe same for every person, every day.
Men and women in your life are merelyactors
Each man or woman is attracted into your reality by you.
Working on the premise that you're the scriptwriter in yourmovie, every person you meet in life, no matter how brief itmight be, is playing the part of an actor in your movie. Theyare gifting you the opportunity to show you how you arerelating within yourself.
All men will be playing out a role to teach you about howyou make things happen, and each woman will be teachingyou about the quality of your experiences.
One very important point to take on board is that thepeople in front of you are not you but what you emotionallyreact to is you.
The genius of creation allows people around us to live theirlife and yet still be part of our play and help us out.
Here is a demonstration. You may be on Facebook, postingsomething that is full of passion and love; however, someoneelse may see something else in your post. They may evenunfriend you, but it was not you they were unfriending; itwas what they saw in themselves that they were irritated by!
The way I have received what I see is an image of my cellsjumping out of my body and jumping into another person toborrow their body. The cells play out thoughts and beliefs soI can see it on the outside.
In short, what we are all witnessing in men and women isessentially our own emotional and physical abilities as theyexist at the time.
Another important point I want to note here is that I haveobserved people being frustrated because they think if theycan't change the irritating behaviour that they see in thosearound them, then they don't change themselves. Keep inmind that people on the outside are not you, only a way ofappraising what kind of energy is going on right now andwhat your spirit is trying to alert you to.
Let me give you an example. If you are irritated at a manaround you because you feel they are always distracted,then your power is telling you that your ability to make thingshappen is distressed because of distraction.
Whether that particular man continues to be distracted ornot is irrelevant. What is relevant is only your emotionalreaction. Therefore, if you are still upset, then the spirit ofyour male is still alerting you to distress in the domain ofyour male. When you have made peace either to changesomething or acknowledge what your spirit is telling you,then your spirit lets it go and releases the actor ready for thenext message.
Your spirit only alerts by way of an irritation when it is vyingfor your attention. It doesn't mean every time you observesomeone being distracted you will get upset. Your emotionsare the key guidance system and the way your spirit makessure it gets your attention.
Now we have established that a man plays out your maleand a woman plays out the role of your female, let's look athow you know precisely how to recognise when they are outof balance and what you can do to harmonise them.
Harmonising yourself: Three steps
This harmonising tool requires three steps:
Step 1. Listening for a distress call—emotionally upset.
Step 2. Where exactly is the problem? Is it my power orpotential?
Step 3. Taking action to counteract and harmonise.
Step 1: Listening for a distress call—why exactly am I upset?
A distress call is when you feel upset with someone.
Take a moment, step back, and ask what exactly do I feel andwhy?
It is really important to listen to your precise words. Youare looking for an emotion, not really what somebody did.Keep asking why until you find out what emotion you areexperiencing.
Let's start with an example.
'I'm angry with my wife. She has emptied my trouser pockets againwhen I told her not to.'
We can see the emotion is anger, but why precisely is ithurting?
