Magnetic Partners: Discover How the Hidden Conflict That Once Attracted You to Each Other Is Now Driving You Apart
Language: English
Published by Free Press, 2010
- Hardcover
- Used

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- Title
- Magnetic Partners: Discover How the Hidden Conflict That Once Attracted You to Each Other Is Now Driving You Apart
- Author
- Betchen, Stephen
- Publisher
- Free Press
- Publication year
- 2010
- Condition
- very_good
- Binding
- Hardcover
- Language
- English
- ISBN 10
- 1439100209
- ISBN 13
- 9781439100202
In this breakthrough guide to repairing romantic relationships, therapist and marriage researcher Dr. Stephen Betchen presents a powerful new explanation of what leads to this kind of escalating conflict in couples and how you can repair your relationship and find a whole new level of happiness. Based on his extensive experience as a couples therapist, Dr. Betchen has discovered that the prevailing idea that opposites attract is wrong. Instead, one of the strongest forces that attracts people to one another is that they share a hidden, inner conflict in their livesan unconscious struggle within themselves that each of them developed growing upwhich he calls a "master conflict."
The fact that a couple shares a master conflict acts as an almost magnetic force of attraction, but, over time, master conflicts often begin to push a pair apartmany of the very things you most appreciated about each other start to grate on you, producing increasing hostility. The good news is that by identifying the master conflict that you share, you and your partner can take the steps to break the cycle of fighting and come to a new place of understanding and happiness in your relationship. Often, just the realization that you have this hidden conflict acts as a powerful cure, allowing you to appreciate each other once again and to be empathetic about the things that have been irritating you both.
From his years of work with couples, Betchen has identified the nineteen most common master conflictssuch as getting your needs met vs. caretaking; giving vs. withholding; commitment vs. freedom; power vs. passivityand for each he provides vivid stories of couples who have struggled with them, as well as simple tests that help you to:
Identify the core master conflict that is causing your relationship problems
Understand the origins of your conflict and how it drew you to your partner
Diagnose how the conflict is now pushing you apart
Come to new terms with the conflict to save your relationship
As Dr. Betchen writes, knowledge of a master conflict is power, and Magnetic Partnersis an empowering guide that will help you not only to identify and control your master conflict, but also to bring your relationship to a new level based on deeper understanding, ultimately leading to greater fulfillment and long-term resilience.
Partners
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Review
Dr. Jay Lappin, M.S.W., LCSW, Family Therapy Director, Centrapc
"In this wonderfully accessible book, Dr. Betchen unravels the paradox of romantic attraction- if opposites attract, why then, can couples who start with loving similarities wind up repelling each other with such force ? Here is a clear, compassionate instruction manual for couples who want to move beyond being stuck. Through illuminating the hidden power of "master conflicts," couples understand themselves and their partner through fresh insights and growth that makes a lasting life of love together both possible and, dare I say, enjoyable."
--Dr. Jay Lappin, M.S.W., LCSW, Family Therapy Director, Centrapc
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Zoom Books East
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