Luther's War: A Different Civil War Story

From Ed.

One day, Ed and me was cutting up side meat for grinding sausage. Any more boys around leaving for the army?

Yeah. Two left week ago. There's more going after Christmas. Or talking like they will.

What are you going to do?

Go. Maybe after my birthday in January. I'll be 16.

Want to tell me which side?

I knowed this time was coming, when I'd have to tell somebody 'cept Nadine what I was going to do. I'd told her. Me and her was seeing each other regular that fall and talking about most everything in our life. I suppose I should say that I was pretty hot for her. Them were the words boys and me said then for the feelings about girls. But the more I seen her, the more I liked to talk with her too. Anyway, so here was Ed, asking me the question.

Join the South. Up to that time, I hadn't been for sure. But oncet I said it, I knowed it was the right thing for me to do. I was turning the sausage mill. He was feeding the hunks of meat to the hopper. He was quiet. Care to tell me why?

I wondered why myself. I'll try. It's hard to say, hard to put it into words. First off, it seems like I ought to, at my age. Everybody else of age is doing it. Everybody's talking about it, Fort Donelson and all. I guess that I want to go, see what's it like to be a soldier. I want to see something 'sides Bumpus Mills and Stewart County. I know my goin' will be hard for Uncle Gray. He needs me on the farm. But Sam can help now, long as he's here. But the fact is, I want to go.

That don't explain which side.

That was just like Ed, pushing in his questions. I know that.

That's harder to talk about. Some of the boys have been talking up the North. Aunt Polly would be for the South, I guess. Uncle Gray hasn't out and out said which side he favors, but the worry about Fort Donelson kind of pushes him to the South. And you must be in the middle.

He stopped putting meat in the hopper. He reached over for the salt sack and the sage. He put 'em in the wash tub with the ground-up meat. I watched him put in his hands and started mixing it all up. Help me do this new job. You want to mix it up good. He was quiet for a minute. You're right. I am in the middle. What about slaving?

I ain't changed my mind about slavin'. I wouldn't do it, even if'n I could. But I guess people ought to be able to make up their own mind about that, and not be told what they had to do, or couldn't do. We was mixing up the meat with our hands in it up to the elbow. Ed quit, and got the sacks to put the sausage in. Aunt Polly had made them sacks. It made me feel sad and glad at the same time, to think about that. And 'sides, I'm a Tennessee boy. And Tennessee is for the South and I am too.

He put the sack already stuffed on the table and picked up another one to stuff. I guess that's a good enough reason. If'n I was your age, I guess I'd feel the same and do the same. It sounds funny but hearing him say that made me feel good about what I decided. He reached over and shook my hand, both of us covered with sausage. It was a good hard shake. I felt real good. Uncle Gray had never done that with me. But I knowed what a handshake between two men meant. And I felt right then like a man. Somehow Nadine and him had made me feel like a man, in different ways. The next sausage sack I stuffed. He watched, telling me how to stuff it right.

From Ridin' with the Cavalry.

It warn't always that easy. I recollect one big battle somewheres with more men down than I'd ever seen afore. Men was layin' everywhere, in the blood and the stink. You couldn't see for the smoke. Horses down ever'where. It was a terrible picture to look at. So many men down, I didn't hardly know where to start. The doctorin' tent hadn't been set up yet or not that I could see. I come around a supply wagon turned over and afire. And right by it there was a soldier in a Yankee uniform been shot in