Synopsis:
Being A Better Friend to Those Experiencing Loss. Knapp draws on his own experience of losing both his first and second wife to cancer to provide insight into some of the unhelpful responses we often make, and presents a repertoire of ideas on how to be a genuine friend and helper to a grieving person.Various chapters in the book deal with different kinds of losses, including the trauma of losing a spouse or child, divorce, loss of pets, and other losses that we sometimes fail to recognize need to be grieved over if healing is to occur. A veteran teacher, Knapp supplements his chapters with practical lists of responses that may be helpful at different points in the grieving process. His book is a wonderful tool for preparing ourselves for the inevitable human experience of dealing with others' grief, or our own.A student of life and processes, David Knapp "leans into" the situation at hand. Whether raising four children, or blending a family with eight teenagers, running a small business or teaching fresh-faced college students, he knows how to communicate effectively. He does not write from theory, but from experience and study.
Review:
David Knapp has put together a valuable and much need manual on how to help friends and loved ones as they journey through the grieving process. Especially helpful is the section at the end of the book that details what one can do to comfort and help those who experience the loss of a loved one at the time of death, one week later; and at intervals from 3 weeks, 3 months, six months and up to a year after the time of loss. There are tips covering what to say and do at the holidays; and how to help when those missing anniversaries and birthdays come around. Especially useful is the short guide at the end on what not to say when someone is grieving and what can be said instead when words are appropriate. This book will be a welcome resource, not just for ministers and counselors, but in every family's bookshelf. DG Spillman Spiritual Counterfeits Project Access Director & Author of "The Godslinger" Series "David Knapp hits a nerve with his book, I Didn't Know What To Say. Whether you've been there or not, the loss of a loved one is never easy. David takes a candid and vulnerable walk through all the dynamics of grief and loss. He speaks from an uneasy vantage point, when it comes to the death of loved ones. Sadly, grief can be experienced with the loss of pets, job loss, and divorce as well. In each situation, we need to know what to say, as well as what not to say. " Steve Vandegriff Professor of Christian Leadership and Church Ministries Liberty University "Have you ever felt uncomfortable in trying to help someone who is grieving a loss? Did you ever "shrink back" because you didn't know how best to be a support and didn't want to make it worse? Few of us know what to say or do to offer real comfort, that is, until now. Through his own heartfelt grieving, David has overcome, breaking down the process for us and providing a roadmap for anyone who wants to "be there" for a hurting person. Since loss affects us all at one time or another, this book should be a very helpful tool." Brenda Terpstra, retired teacher (Minnesota) Congratulations! I really enjoyed your book, David. It is a wonderful, heartfelt, helpful book. Thank you for guiding us to the most loving and helpful ways to comfort our family and friends in their times of grief. It is refreshing to see acknowledgment that grief should not have to be hidden or suffered alone and there is no set time limit working through sadness and pain. You show us that it is a journey that can become bearable with time and the help of family and friends. You give hope, and you are an example to all, that the joy of life will return. Your book will bring healing and comfort to many hearts. Sincerely, Martha (Iowa) "How many times have I said to myself, I hate funerals because I just never know what to say to that friend or family member who has just lost a loved one? Saying 'I am sorry for your loss' just never seemed to be enough. I heartily recommend this book as David Knapp has given me a whole new insight on how to talk with a grieving friend or family member experiencing grief." Carolyn A. Walker Former Arizona State Senator David Knapp eloquently captures in print the journey into and through the loss of significant persons in his life. He does not side-step the thorns of a relationship that draws to a close brought on by forces outside either partner's control. Thanks for the opportunity to be embraced by the wisdom and affirmation of our humanity in and through the process of loss. My copy is already full of notes and comments. Bill Steinke Hospice Chaplain
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