CHAPTER 1
THE AWAKENING
It was during September and October 2011 also the year my Dad died, which was a few months prior. I remember lying in my bed after waking up from a nap. I was in a very depressed state of being. I heard the voice, "Get up my child" which was the voice of God. I immediately got up and sat up on the bed. I was not in shock from hearing his voice but the feeling I got was I knew it was something very serious that was being asked of me and now it was my time to get it done. Also referred to as a "Walk-in" when the higher self (true spiritual being) steps into the body (physical reality) and the lower self (old self/lower you) leaves the reality because the higher self knows the direction and the path to where it is going. I had experienced a death and rebirth and was divinely awakened to the real me who would soon begin to remember the journey through many lives and the promises and the love of who I am would soon become reality. My life began to shift and change drastically the year of my awakening and there was no escaping it. They were literally after and "Coming for me". I remember asking God, "Why me"? He said, "Why not you"? This was also during the year my dad (transitioned). I noticed the rapid changes and things began to fall suddenly from my life and all at once. Most family members who saw the changes happening in my life as well but they could not relate to what I was going through and the intensity of the changes I endured. I felt no one was here who really understood me except my dad who was no longer here. Although being raised with him ended when I was 5yrs old when I went to live in a foster home until my aunt picked me up along with 4 of my other siblings, we shared a close bond together and he protected and guided me throughout my life in his own special and unique way. He always knew our whereabouts throughout my entire life up until the day he became ill. I did not know it until his memorial service that he told one of his brothers at the age of five that I was special and would grow up to be someone great. He also protected me as such. This brought heavy tears to my eyes even as I write this because although he was a man of few words my dad knew me all along and was here to protect me. My favorite aunt Christine said to both my mother and father when I was born she saw a special mark on my forehead and that I would grow up to be a missionary or someone huge (in her words). My dad was a very strong but sensitive man with the physical strength of about ten men literally and I felt completely safe and protected with him around and as long as he was alive I felt completely safe. As the oldest of eight brothers and sisters and growing up in the very tough urban streets of Watts, (the projects) in Los Angeles, California, Dad had to be strong. He never showed fear and was known throughout the neighborhoods and was looked at as "Big Joe" or the "Big brother" to everyone who knew him. My Dad was not only our protector but as the big brother he was also known to defend, protect and discipline those in his family as well as friends who knew and accepted him as their "Big Brother". He kept his physical appearance immaculate and his physical body in top shape. He was superior and indeed "One of a kind". Growing up in his era, he was known to fight for equality in the community during the "Black Panther Movement" and during the "Watts Riots" which was a fight against a lot of injustice in the neighborhoods he grew up and where I was raised as a young child. I am the firstborn to him and my mother and the fourth oldest of nine of his children and I have always been known to be his favorite and as a "Daddy's girl" because that's how he treated me. I always felt even as a little girl he was put in my life for that reason. When he left, I wanted to go with him. That's how close my love is and will always be. Our bond became stronger when he came to live with my family and me in 2008-2009. I took good care of him for over a year. I felt he was saying good-bye ahead of time. I was so proud to have him live with me and after a yearlong battle he was diagnosed with gastric cancer (cancer of the stomach), which he did not recover from. The disease suddenly degenerated his health along with his on and off battle and prolonged use of heroin. Prior to this I remember him calling me on the phone and saying, "Hi Baby, how you doing"? He said, "I want to come back up there and live with you. I want you to take care of me". I said to him, "Daddy, I'm not keeping my house. I'm leaving". He insisted upon coming and I maintained the fact that I was leaving my house and everything behind. Okay he said. I didn't realize until afterwards that he wanted to die around me and after I said no he contributed to taking his life because he was in so much pain both physical and emotional. That left me completely devastated and I don't remember much after that except everything was leaving my life in a hurry. No matter what, I did not judge either of my parents for the life they lived. I loved them both no matter what. Today, most kids raised without their parents are quick to hold resentment, anger and an unforgiving heart towards them causing further issues, hang-ups and set-backs within their own lives and making it difficult to move forward especially without knowing the facts of what the parent had to endure in their own life either after or prior to conceiving them. Most times they themselves are in abusive relationships and maybe tried to hold it together and some may needed help or support from family members or others that they never received because of pretentious behaviors from those family members. It is very hard to perceive this at the time you endure the abuse and struggle, however the universe will quickly open up your eyes and at some point in life after you've reached the right age of maturity and can understand better. Which is why and while on the earth when referring to the scriptures God tells us to "honor" our mother and father and it will go well with us. He did not say provided they do the right thing, he said to "honor" them in other words it will go well with you and whatever you do in life you will be supported. In my opinion this was one of the most important commandments he attached a blessing to because when they are gone, you will miss them. It will always be something you wish you could have done differently. The universe will make sure of that and will serve those lessons to you on a silver platter. The love I had for both of them was natural and I could not see myself reacting any other way even through the trauma, hurt and abuse that they had no clue I endured while out of their care. Emotionally we all experience hurt in many different ways and my hurt was felt the same as anyone else. After we were taken away from them I remember being affected the most growing up. I was always the one crying all the time in foster homes and although being taken to my aunt's house to live, my mother's sister, I still cried. I would hide in the closet and cry my eyes out. While in a foster home, I remember my oldest sister would try to stop me from crying because the foster mother couldn't understand why I could not stop crying and no matter what I just wanted my mom and dad. It hurt both my parents and after we were taken I remember one night I went to visit him. I was around 5 or 6. I got out of the car and ran to the door. He opened it. I gave him a big kiss and hug. Tears fell from his eyes and if you knew my father he was known to be a very sensitive man and crying for him was "Huge". I remember saying, "Daddy don't cry". Being the firstborn, I was conceived from their love for each other and considered to be "A love child" who was in for a great surprise of life-long hurt during my early years. When I was about 7 or 8 years old while visiting my mom for the weekend, I remember her taking me to the hospital after complaining of pain in my chest near my heart. She rushed me to the hospital where I was seen at the emergency. It was then when I was diagnosed as having a heart murmur, an extra or double beat in my heart. I remember the doctor telling my mom it was nothing to be worried about and it was completely innocent. Some people have it and some don't. He said when I become an adult it would be less traumatic to deal with in other words, and I would "Grow out of it". These murmurs are considered to be unusual and uncommon sounds with irregular heartbeats. During that age into my teenage years I could literally feel my heart beat outside my chest and it felt as if there were two heartbeats together inside and sometimes it would pound hard. It happened spontaneously and last about five to ten minutes at a time and was very unsettling until it stopped and went back to normal. I remember not being able to run extremely fast for long periods of time because of it. Now at the age of 41, the beats are profound and last about 30 minutes at a time or longer and no matter what I do I can't get it to stop. I am much more aware of why this is happening which I describe in full detail below about the "Twinning" aspect of it all.
One year later on October 18, 2012, I was driving on the freeway as I normally did and while driving I felt the presence of God the father swirl around my car and right above me I heard his voice say the words, "You belong to Me". I was overwhelmed with emotion! I can't describe the feeling I felt to hear his voice say those words to me. I pulled over and wrote the exact words he said to me including the date and my response to him. I did respond to what he said. I go into complete detail about the entire awakening process and more ways to help stay grounded within the body during the process. This will help to stay on the planet throughout all the negativity we face on the earth in my up coming book, "My Divine Spiritual Awakening" but for now I want to focus on the Twin-Flames awakening. From the beginning of the awakening I didn't start to feel unusual or foreign all at once but it was certainly imminent. I guess the shock to my mind couldn't handle the initial pressure. The truth to who I was becoming gradually began to unfold and it all began to open up over a five-year period.
After the awakening it was a total misconception that things were going to happen right away. I tried to force them but my twin had a lot of growing and maturing to do. It was a slow and gradual process. I also was the one who had learned the lessons I needed to move further along on my journey. He also needed to learn lessons on his own to move further along on his path. Twins are here to fulfill the mission together but ideally goals and dreams maybe very separate but with true bona fide genuine twins the goals and dreams are the same. So I decided to take the lead and begin walking in my true path and purpose. Although the destinies are inevitable we must be fulfilling our "higher life purpose" and walking in our true destiny in order to get them to notice us or even for the connection to come together and take place which is the main reason for being here at this point in time no matter what any one else may be telling you. Find out what that purpose is and start walking in it. This may be the reason why most of us may feel stuck and unable to truly connect to the life we want. Since the awakening I know who I am in the spirit and where I am returning while others might be lost or have no clue and will continue to go through life after life to get certain lessons they need to ascend. As the Goddess, I am the conduit for my male counterpart "The God" therefore his ascension is taking place through me together as one. This is why engaging with certain people, sexually, or casually may have us feeling stuck or in a stagnant rut because they have "no clue" where they're headed spiritually or in their own physical realities. The messages I received about my twin were far ahead into the future after he & I had accomplished and experienced more along our paths through separate journeys. At first I did not like it and became in a rush to unload everything from my past and all I was no longer attached to for a chance to be in union again together and to ascend in a closer more intimate love but this only begun the process.
My relationship with God and the Goddess is deeper now. He calls me his child and I refer to them as Father and Mother throughout the book.
The Twin-Flames is the reality to every book, story and movie ever created by anyone within the last decade. It is our "Reality" and true genuine "Love Story" created in the light. Our reputation exceeds far beyond what others may feel they know about us.
-Seeing the face of God and visits from the Goddess
During the beginning stages of my awakening and while on the journey to remembering who i am and what i came here to be. I received profound visits from the god and goddess. The goddess ascended from the heavens down to the earth realm. She was very beautiful and was wearing the finest of jewelry. I could only see glimpses of her beauty along with her features but i could feel her presence very strong. However, i had the feeling that she was not welcomed here on the earth realm by the dark spirits who dwell here in space and on the planet. She was looking at me while i was asleep in other words she was watching over me the way a mother watches over her child while they sleep here on earth. I felt a real sense of comfort and peace throughout my entire body. A few years later, her presence is still felt even stronger and the physical bond we share is indescribable. She reminds me she is here with me to help me along my path. The love I felt surpasses all understanding of lack thereof from receiving and having the love of a mother who was giving and has everlasting love for her children upon the earth.
There were powerful events beginning to take place at the start of the total lunar eclipse tetrad cycles also known as the 4 "blood moon" eclipses (#1 april 15 2014 lunar eclipse, #2 october 8 2014 lunar eclipse, #3 april 4 2015 lunar eclipse, and #4 September 28 2015 lunar eclipse the last of the four lunar eclipse cycle). These eclipses are known to be very rare occurrences but is gods way of coming through powerfully upon the earth. During each one of these eclipses there were major shifts, magical occurrences, revelations, angel appearances and guidance, dreams of yashua aka jesus's return and other major events dealing with twin flames were all shown in a powerful light. In march 2014, which was a few weeks prior to the first blood moon cycle, i remember being in my bedroom closet. I was shown a vision of god's face. It was distinguished from a man's face. It was like looking at both man and woman at the same time blended within the same body. His face is full and complete and he is merged with the goddess. I remember jumping back in shock because my spirit or physical body could not behold such beauty. This is why he does not allow everyone to see his face. The average human could not handle it. I honestly felt i was going to die or exit my physical body. His power, spirit, essence and beauty engulfed my entire being. They are truly the most powerful force in the entire universe. Since then, my awakening skyrocketed and i became highly in-tuned and extremely sensitive. I became a direct channel between the heavenly realm and the physical realm. Prior to these occurrences in or around late spring of 2013, i took a picture of a beautiful rainbow in the sky. After looking at the picture of the rainbow, his eyes appeared in my rainbow with his right eye very visible. In the picture is literally a thousand words. I saved it to my computer background and is displayed as my screensaver so each time i load my computer his face is the first picture i see.
"there are no words to describe the amount of love i have for you both. My soul yearns to become complete and return back to the love i once knew which comes from you ... "i love you father and mother".
-The angels are here
My first encounter with her was the year my dad died. I was raising two kids and in the middle of a divorce. My oldest son then 18 and my daughter 13 was considered a minor at the time. I had to make real tough decisions fast and all on my own. One of which was to leave my home that i'd built and became accustomed to while raising my children in what i thought was a strong and solid foundation. I was now being asked by the universe to surrender and give it all up. Later i found out what the universe takes away it replaces with much better. I have to admit it was very difficult to see it at the time and i didn't know what i was going to do. Not to mention i was being asked to leave a 23 year government job that paid $50,000 a year i'd worked over half of my young adult life. There was no one around and i was sitting alone in my room crying my eyes out. I never cried so hard in my entire life. I didn't think i was going to make it. Suddenly she appeared. I saw her with my mind's eye (third eye). She was a beautiful and gentle angel wearing all white. She appeared in the bright light and she said to me, "i'm going to give you everything you want". I looked up at her. She showed me a vision of christian & i getting married. He was wearing a beautiful tuxedo and we were standing together staring face to face in each other's arms and filled with so much love. I couldn't believe what i saw. I went outside my house the next morning and looked into the sky. To my amazement were the prints from her perfectly shaped wings in the form of the clouds as confirmation she'd visited me the night before. Wow!
