Home of the Unknown Soldier: How Coming Back Became the Other Ultimate Sacrifice

Our veterans were willing to die for freedom. Thankfully they came home. Families are grateful for the safe return of their heroes. Until they see the changes. Many couples struggle to stay together through substance abuse, mental illness, depression, PTSD, physical injury and illness.

Our veterans and their caregivers are paying "the other ultimate sacrifice" of learning to love each other again, finding purpose and joy in their new paradigm, and refusing to give in to judgment, shame and hopelessness. Jill married the man of her dreams, but thought something had gone terribly wrong. She thought the answer to their pain was to fix all his problems, and make him be the man she knew before the war. She learned that true love has nothing to do with similarities, chemistry or needing each other.

In her deeply personal account, Jill teaches: 1) Principles of emotional and spiritual recovery and health, 2) Self-care techniques that will get you from overwhelm to clarity, and 3) How to negotiate circumstances that are out of your control. Starting now, experiencing the "other ultimate sacrifice" can be your springboard to creating the life you want and deserve as you learn these tools.

Jill Armijo lives with her husband, Joe and two dogs in Lehi, Utah. They raised three boys and are the proud grandparents of a little granddaughter. Jill has been Joe's caregiver since 1997, when he became unable to work anymore, and landed in the hospital the following year. Their journey has been a roller coaster, when, as a mother of two young boys and the youngest on the way, she embarked on the yourneey of trying to get her husband medical and Veterans Administration help, neither of which were ultimately relying on God, family, friends and their boys to encourage them as they learn that the most rewarding experiences don't come easily or comfortably, but they're worth it.

Joe Armijo provided the strength and substance to the theme of "the other ultimate sacrifice" by refusing to give up on himself and his family through while dealing with self-criticism, shame, and hopelessness catalyzed by schizophrenia and physical illness. He was raised in a difficult environment where drugs, violence, neglect and abuse were commonplace. He chose to change his life - for himself and his future family. His plan for a happy marriage and providing better opportunities for his children than he had encouraged him to finish high school, the first ever in his family, to work hard, nurture himself spiritually, and eventually serve his country. He has accomplished his dreams, but it hasn't looked anything like what he thought it would. Well except that he now has a totally hot granny for a wife, and the cutest granddaughter ever. Joe wasn't a soldier; he was a sailor. He appeared whole when he came home from war, but he and his fellow shipmates all struggled with Gulf War Illness, and drifted apart, not trusting each other and gradually enjoying each other less and less. Joe never experienced combat, but was affected by sarin gas. The onset of delusions and a chronic GI bleed which has limited blood supply to his brain stumped us, and Joe struggles to maintain his footing in reality. This book has been a vulnerable experience for Joe, but he has supported me, read the manuscript over and over, and even contributed several pages. He has a generous heart and hopes his life can help someone else. He mourns the loss of who he was, but is thankful for who his is now (sometimes) and for our boys who have carried us, along with God, our families, friends, complete strangers, and my employers and co-workers, who sometimes had to let me hop on the phone or zip home to comfort or tend to Joe in his distress.

Gailyc Sonia Braunstein is a freelance writer and editor working with both fiction and non-fiction. She has always loved slipping into the worlds created by talented writers, and she's spent her life determined not only to tell her stories but also those of her clients. She earned a bachelor's degree in English literature with a concentration in writing, then went on to become an attorney. After a successful law career, she decided to use her writing, instruction, and counseling experience to create a less fractious and more creative profession for herself. Editing and writing was a natural progression of her enthusiasm for reading, writing, and helping others master the complexities of proper writing, as well as enabling her to provide a more personalized experience for her clients.