CHAPTER 1
A
ALWAYS
Always Do What Is Right For You
Doing what is right for you results in being in control, setting boundaries, acting from the heart, and living well. By doing what is right for you there should be no regrets, for many times it's not the things that you do in your life that cause regrets, it's the things you don't do maybe because of fear or failure. Always check your motive by asking yourself if your actions are being done with good intentions, and act in the best interest of bringing goodness into this world. Even if you don't like the outcome of what you acted upon, there is a lesson to be learned. Try to find the lesson at hand.
Be true to yourself and trust your intuition. Act on your inner voice, all answers are within you. Once while driving to the university library, which is a 35-mile ride, I was traveling in heavy rain and strong winds. My inner voice told me to turn around and go home. I desperately needed to do research that day, and thinking that my inner voice was telling me not to go because of a traffic or road safety issue, I took a different route and drove slowly. When I arrived at the library I found that all of the computers were down and I could not do my research. I had not listened to my inner voice and wound up on the road back home. I could have spent that travel time doing other things, but it was worth the experience. From then on I began to listen to my inner voice.
You can begin to use your inner voice by once a day asking a question and listening to a message from within. Develop practice using your inner voice and as you experience the outcomes, you will begin to trust and have confidence in it. Practice makes perfect.
To practice positive holistic living, you need to address the body, mind, and spirit. For your body, live well with good nutrition and exercise. Learn when to say "yes" and don't be afraid to take a stand and honestly say "no" as integrity is one of your most important characteristics. Again, be true to yourself and also address situations immediately with words such as "I prefer you to," instead of "You shouldn't have done that." "I appreciate your offer but now is not a good time." "Thanks for having faith in me, but my plate is full."
For your emotional well-being, stop comparing yourself to others. Know that there will always be those with less than you have, and those with more than you have. People will always be thinner, richer, or more educated. Realize that you are unique and have special gifts to offer the world. Just be the best that you can be and treat yourself and others with kindness and respect. Listen to positive uplifting music, surround yourself with beauty and things of nature, walk outdoors, accept compliments graciously, and meditate daily.
To help you be in control, you need to set boundaries. Setting boundaries on what you give or take from others is an important step in a positive way. You must realize that you have choices and should take responsibility for the choices you make. You need to make healthy choices for yourself by changing old habits and taking charge of your life. You can do this by not trying to please others and learning to please yourself. This makes you better able to help others because you are no longer trying to fulfill their needs; you are investing in yourself. For your spiritual growth, remember that you are responsible for your thoughts and actions. You can choose faith, hope, and love; and you can choose to let go of others' negativity toward you.
Assignment:
Set three goals in each area that for the next year will help you do what is best for you.
Physically
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
Emotionally
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
Spiritually
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
B
BALANCE
Find a Balance in Your Life
A balanced life is rich with rewards of good health, positive thoughts, and stress-free living. It is about less material things and more gifts from within. For example, it is about showing gratitude and making choices that are important to your holistic well-being, that of body, mind, and spirit as opposed to your material well-being. The quality of your life comes from peace of mind, high self-esteem, and relationships with others. If you focus on your inner growth, you can discover the diminished importance of material things, as material things come and go, styles change, and objects wear out. But health, happiness, and peace of mind are lifelong gifts to you.
To maintain order and make room for the new, begin to clear clutter from your home, closets, and cupboards, as cluttered homes mean cluttered minds. Dispose of anything that has not been used or worn in the past two years by giving away, selling, or bringing to charitable organizations. Discard items from the fridge and then attack the garage and your office. Develop a file system for your bills and begin to pay off debt. Debt causes stress and worry so change your spending habits by eliminating impulse buying with credit cards and pay cash for what you need. Charge only for emergencies. By freeing up your debt you will be freeing up your mind. Put a freeze on spending by keeping your credit cards in the freezer.
Keep your wardrobe simple and choose colors that coordinate well. Buy a few basic pieces such as slacks or a suit, and alternate with different tops and accessories.
Eat three meals a day having a portion of protein at each meal, and eat more whole foods and less processed foods. Use less fat in your diet, resulting in fewer calories, and think of what you can have to eat rather than what you can't have. Otherwise, you may begin to crave the things which your mind thinks you are being deprived.
Begin by walking 20 minutes a day, and if that is not feasible try three times per week. Go to the gym or a yoga class, practice tai chi, or get involved in sports. Strength training can help to improve bone mass and make you physically stronger thereby bringing about positive emotional benefits. People who participate in strength training tend to have more energy, confidence, and therefore are happier. If none of this is possible, purchase an exercise DVD for home or spend one hour with a trainer who can assist you in setting up an at-home exercise program. Being flexible, having confidence, and staying healthy are the benefits of exercise and of a balanced life. Exercise, get regular medical check- ups on your body, and think thoughts of happiness and good health.
Also, you'll need to begin to let go of your judgments of others and try to accept people and situations as they are. Act from the heart, always do good things for yourself and for others, and take responsibility for your actions. Remember that you create your reality thorough your thoughts, so begin to take charge of your life through positive thinking and a balanced life style.
Assignment:
List five positives traits that you have in each area:
Mind
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
Body
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
Spirit
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
Begin to balance your life by adding one more positive quality to any area each week.
C
CREATIVITY
Become More Creative
Most of our experiences are understood through words and we frequently use an analytical thinking process to attempt to understand others, the world, and ourselves. Scientists speak in terms of brain hemispheres where in general, the left side of our brain deals with language, numbers, and analysis, while the right side deals with creativity, music, color, spatial awareness, and imagination. In order to reach your full potential and to maintain optimal physical and emotional health, everyone needs a balance between right and left-brain activities. Since most people are left-brain dominant, becoming creative allows you to develop your right-brain hemisphere.
The right side operates by processing information in a simultaneous mode and it specializes in intuitive perception. If you were to watch a parade on Main Street in your town, you would observe the parts of the parade such as floats, marching bands, and other components in the order they passed by. If you were to see that same parade from a helicopter above, you would see the parade all at once and not one segment at a time. Just like the view from above, the right side sees the "big picture" and without its use, you would not reach your full potential. Developing your right-brain hemisphere enables you to discover your own inner resources and operate on an intuitive level rather than an analytical level.
Let's first see how well developed each hemisphere is:
List 10 satisfying activities that you do on a weekly basis and decide which are more right-brain dominant.
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
6. ____________________________________
7. ____________________________________
8. ____________________________________
9. ____________________________________
10. ___________________________________
This list may have included left-brain activities such as reading informational documents, working out at the gym on machines, cleaning your home or condo, writing checks, or making phone calls. By checking your right-brain activities such as listening to music, dancing, singing, painting, drawing, imagining, reading fiction, gardening, meditating, doing yoga, or making jewelry, you are aware of some right-brain activities that are a part of your repertoire, and you can now work to increase that number.
Assignment:
Make a list of ten activities that are right-brained.
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
6. ____________________________________
7. ____________________________________
8. ____________________________________
9. ____________________________________
10. ___________________________________
From this list, choose five activities that can be done on a daily basis and use these activities to strengthen your right-brain hemisphere and enhance your creativity.
D
DO RESPOND
Do Respond; Don't React
Stress as we know it can be a major contributor to illness, and we must remember that it is how we respond to our everyday situations that increases stress. I say respond because many people react. If you react to everyday inconveniences your body will overreact as well, thus producing unnecessarily large amounts of stimulating hormones. To help you get the concept of responding and not reacting, consider the following thoughts:
Reacting Responding
"It shouldn't have happened." "I'd prefer it to be another way."
"I made a mistake." "Nobody's perfect."
"That gets me so angry." "I can choose how I respond."
You know that there will always be frustrating situations in your life, but if you can begin to accept these challenges as part of the pattern of living and work to improve them by responding and not reacting, your stress will be reduced. You must remember that everything happens for a reason and some good will come out it. All that happens to you is part of a bigger picture. You can find ways to turn stumbling blocks into stepping-stones by how you view your circumstances. The loss of a job can lead to another career or the start of a new business. A divorce may force you to make positive changes such as reaching out to friends, going back to school, losing weight, or seeking counseling.
It is important to be proactive rather than reactive and with practice comes conditioning. Nothing is a problem in your life, just a challenge. Start searching through the rubble to seek that golden opportunity. Use your mistakes as opportunities for growth. If you have a need to have perfect standards for yourself and others, it is time to let that go, and stop trying to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Do not focus on negative thoughts or negative conditions, but rather take inventory of what you do well and look at the positive circumstances around you. Remember that you are responsible for how you respond to what happens in your life. Therefore, look for the best in everyone and in every situation, and take charge of your life not by reacting, but by responding to situations.
Assignment:
List 5 challenges presently in your life.
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
For every challenge list the opportunity that is present.
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
Then for every challenge, describe how you will positively respond to it.
1. ____________________________________
2. ____________________________________
3. ____________________________________
4. ____________________________________
5. ____________________________________
E
ENERGY
Bring Positive Energy to Self and Others
To reach out and help others attain a positive way of living, it is important to begin by addressing your own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, or that of body, mind, and spirit. Through your actions and interactions you influence others.
Physical refers to the environment and your very own presentation to the world. First, you can look at your body and accept it as it is or you can change how you treat your body through exercise and wholesome foods. Next, you can take care of yourself by scheduling some private time into each day and getting adequate rest each night. Then, you should have an awareness of the clothing and colors that you wear and make sure that they look and make you feel confident.
It is also necessary to become more aware of your home and work environment and make it harmonious and balanced through fabrics, placement of furniture, plants, and pictures. When feeling stressed, turn off the phone and the computer and do yoga stretches, meditate, or read a good book to help you relax.
For addressing your emotional needs, meditate each day, cancel all negative thoughts if any occur, show gratitude for what you have, and believe that you already have what you want. And to address your spiritual side, take time each day to connect with whomever or whatever you choose. This can be done at home by setting aside a space in a room and surrounding this area with nature by having plants and pictures. Use candles while meditating for enlightenment. Have self-improvement books or inspirational reading materials on hand and just open to a passage and know that the passage is a response to assist you at that time.
In order to bring positive energy to others you can model your positive thoughts out loud, keep your life simple, and speak only the truth and only if it is positive. Encourage others to forgive and let go by the way in which you forgive and let go, and assist others in setting priorities and help them focus on all the good things in their life. Suggest that others work to improve their lives by taking a short walk daily, eating an extra fruit or vegetable with each meal, reading inspirational material, or through positive affirmations such as: "I am filled with positive energy." Support others in reducing stress in their lives by helping them monitor how they respond to situations rather than react to what happens to them.
