The Poetry of Emmett Lee Dickinson, Emily Dickinson's Third Cousin, Twice Removed (at her request) "Cummings Around Again" Parodies of some of Cummings' Most Well-Known Poems "Frost in Translation" Classic Frost Poems Updated for the 21st Century
Great American Poems – REPOEMED Volume 2
A New Look at Classic Poems of Emily Dickinson, E. E. Cummings, & Robert FrostBy Jim AsherAuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 Jim Asher
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4772-2412-0Contents
Emmett Lee Dickinson Emily Dickinson's Third Cousin, Twice Removed (at her request).....................2-8Poetry Of Emily & Emmett Lee Dickinson...................................................................9-55Cummings' Around Again A New Look at Some Cummings' Classics............................................56-107Frost In Translation Robert Frost's Poetry Updated for the 21st Century.................................108-116
Chapter One
Who was Emmett Lee Dickinson? Emmett Lee Dickinson, Emily Dickinson's third cousin, twice removed (at her request), was born on October 12, 1803, in Washerst (pronounced "WAS-herst"), Pennsylvania.
Known as "the Boor of Washerst," Emmett Lee was the thirteenth of thirteen children. His father, Emery Dickinson, was an ice delivery man in Washerst (and is thought to be the inspiration for a title of a Eugene O'Neill play). His mother, Emalee Incross, was a cosmetician at the Perish & Begone Funeral Parlor, owned by brothers Eberhard and Egan Perish and Caldwell Begone.
The Dickinson family lived in the basement of the funeral parlor, and this is possibly one reason why Emmett Lee developed an intense fear of the light (heliophobia), became a recluse, and dressed almost exclusively in shades of black. His reclusiveness might also have been brought on by a sluggish liver and biliousness.
Emmett Lee Dickinson was a prolific writer of poetry, and penned such classic poems as, "After Formal Feedings, a great pain comes," "Because I could not stop for Debt," and "There's a certain slant of Art." His poetry very likely motivated and inspired the work of his third cousin, Emily.
Inspiring Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
While spending one summer in Maine, Emmett Lee Dickinson worked at a lumber mill with Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. During an unusually humid day in July, Dickinson saved Holmes' life from a freak lumber accident as the result of some indolent workers cutting trees without a properly sharpened saw. Following the mishap, Dickenson declared, "The life of the saw has not been logic; it has been experience." In other words, the tree cutters' productivity waned and their risks increased because they did not take time to sharpen their saw.
Holmes remained grateful to Dickinson throughout his life for the quick and decisive actions that saved his life. He also credited Dickinson for shaping his career and his philosophy regarding the practice of law. He cleverly paid tribute to Dickinson throughout his tenure on the bench with his thoughtful mantra, "The life of the law has not been logic; it has been experience."
Coincidentally, the story of Dickinson's heroic deed in saving Holmes' life inspired Stephen Covey to write the self-help book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
A Barroom Blitz
At one point in his early twenties, Dickinson met Henry David Thoreau in Mashpee, Massachusetts. Thoreau was a pool hustler there, working all of the pool hall tables on the lower east side. Dickinson was unaware of Thoreau's reputation, so he agreed to play him in a series of games. Shortly after Dickinson lost most of his savings to Thoreau, a bar maid informed Dickinson about the swindle, and Dickinson and Thoreau ended up in a rough barroom brawl. This scuffle was immortalized in a song called "Barroom Blitz," released in 1975 by the glam rock band "Sweet." The entanglement also spawned this poem from Dickinson:
Of Purple was the outer Lid And Blacker than Black the eye Although I'm now Discolored you should Have seen the other guy.
Shortly thereafter Dickinson encountered Thoreau in a bookstore where Thoreau was working part-time as the store clerk. Dickinson was circumspect at first, but eventually spoke to Thoreau to inquire about publications with the latest and most accurate agricultural reports, particularly those concerning corn. One thing led to another, and two suddenly found themselves engaged in a fascinating conversation about nature, flora and fauna, and wildlife. The two became quick friends.
The friendship between Dickinson and Thoreau lasted for the rest of their lives, and they corresponded frequently. Thoreau was always amused with Dickinson's word play, and his favorite quip from Dickinson was, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it" (this quote is often attributed to New York Yankee catcher Yogi Berra; however, Berra studied the poetry of Emmett Lee Dickinson at South Side Catholic School in St. Louis, MO, and in later years, he often quoted his favorite poet).
A night in jail
When Emmett Lee's sister Esme Pearl married Hector Harbinger (pronounced HAHR-binger, not HAHR-bin-jer), Dickinson fired a gentleman's pocket flintlock pistol into the air several times after the outdoor ceremony. That evening he was arrested for "discharging a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding," which was against Pennsylvania state law ever since the infamous MacDonald-Berger wedding disaster of 1807.
Emmett Lee appeared before Judge Dedmon Bailey and was fined $10.00. Dickinson raised his fist and yelled, Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea (the act does not make one guilty unless there be a criminal intent). Judge Bailey then doubled the fine, and Dickinson hollered out, "I refuse to pay a dollar of your unjust penalty."
Coincidentally, young Susan B. Anthony was the stenographer in the courtroom that day. Following Dickinson's outburst, she stood and shouted, Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea! At first, the perplexed judge thought Anthony was, for some unknown reason, reading back the court transcript. He later realized that she was rallying behind Dickinson's protest (a year earlier she had been fined $15.00 for firing a cannon at her cousin's bridesmaid party). Dickinson and Anthony started chanting, Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea, and the judge had the two of them removed from the courtroom. He jailed them for twenty-four hours for contempt of court.
Late in his life, a package arrived in the post for Dickinson from Susan B. Anthony. It was a wall hanging on which she had embroidered the words, Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea!
An encounter with miss Mary Todd of Kentucky
Following the untimely and unfortunate death of his fifth wife, Eudora Pearl Dickinson, who plunged to her death in the Niagara River while trying to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope, Emmett Lee fell into the depths of a deep depression. He moved to Utica, New York, and worked for a short time as a child psychologist with Drs. Mezmer, Mezmer, and Spellbind. His tenure was brief, though, when he received a letter from Mortimer Trinket, the manager of the Calvert Street Theater in Baltimore. Mr. Trinket had also contacted Edgar Allan Poe, with whom Dickinson had performed in a vaudeville comedy duo known as "Izzy Sharp and Moe." Trinket was proposing a series of reunion shows, and Dickinson readily agreed. Soon he was back with Poe in Baltimore, or as it was known at the time by its nickname, "Seltzer Town."
Dickinson arrived during the stifling heat of July, but the oppressive temperature and humidity did not wilt his spirit. On the contrary, to celebrate the reunion of "Izzy Sharp and Moe," he agreed to host an old fashioned Corn Boil for all of his friends. An enthusiastic Poe rounded up potential dates for himself and Dickinson, including Annabelle Lee, Lenore Peccavimus, Helen Waite, and a young woman by the name of Mary Todd who was visiting from Kentucky.
Marry Todd was captivated by Emmett Lee Dickinson (although she was probably more smitten with his persona as Moe), and she shadowed him the entire evening. Perhaps Emmett Lee wouldn't have minded so much had she not been so irritating and irksome. Every time the woman spoke she would begin by announcing, "I'm Miss. Mary Todd of Kentucky," or some such annoying decree. She delighted in and shared Dickinson's passion for corn; however, she was single-minded in any conversation or examination on the theme as she was stuck solely on the use of corn to manufacture whiskey. "I'm Miss. Mary Todd of Kentucky," she would broadcast, "and we in Kentucky brew the finest corn whiskey in the land. It is most excellent in its zest and absolutely unsurpassed in its power." She would then take a swig from a lady's' flask which she had tied to her wrist with girlish ribbons. She would proclaim this often, and she would imbibe from the flask just as often – and the flask never seemed to run dry.
By the end of the evening Miss. Mary Todd of Kentucky was slurring her words quite profoundly, and she was whirling and reeling through the crowd like an unsteady top about to topple— and topple she did, for when the crowd began to disperse, Miss. Mary Todd of Kentucky was found splayed atop a bank of boxwoods. Dickinson knew they couldn't leave her in the bushes all night, so he enlisted the help of an apprentice lamp lighter in the theater named Abraham Lincoln. He introduced Lincoln to the swelling in the shrubbery simply by stating, "Mr. Lincoln, this is Miss. Mary Todd of Kentucky." He added, "Methinks she has tasted a liquor strongly brewed," and he asked Mr. Lincoln to escort the stewed lass back to her hotel.
Therapeutic treatment for PTPZS
Late in life, Emmett Lee Dickinson began advancing theories of the unconscious mind, experimenting with treatments for neuralgia, and inventing therapeutic techniques such as the use of free association and phrenology. He took in a young apprentice by the name of Sigmund Freud, and together they advanced the "mind over matter" school of cogitation ("What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind."). The two also pioneered treatments for sorghumitis, a condition whereby an individual suffers from rapid heartbeat, dizziness, confusion and even hallucinations when exposed to fresh corn, usually when corn is particularly plentiful and flavorsome.
During their groundbreaking work on sorghumitis and other corn-related disorders, they met and counseled Louis Comfort Tiffany who suffered from insecticidits (an unfounded and unsettling fear of insects, particularly lady bugs), batanophobia (a fear of plants, also known as "Wysteria Hysteria"), and Miss-Muffetitis (an alarming fear of spiders, named for Miss. Mary Margaret Muffet who suffered countless spider bites during Boston's Great Spider Infestation of 1807).
Dickinson and Freud experienced a harsh falling out, though, over disagreements of their diagnosis of and treatments for Tiffany. Freud insisted that Tiffany suffered from an Oedipal complex, and that his fear and use of the word "insects" was really just code for another unpleasant and disagreeable psychological term. Dickinson maintained, however, that Tiffany suffered from PTPZS, Post-Traumatic Petting Zoo Syndrome, stemming from a distressing and horrific encounter in his youth with a small goat outside a corn crib. Tiffany had tried to feed a baby goat a cob of corn, but the goat dismissed the cob. Tiffany was devastated and traumatized for life. Dickinson prescribed radical treatment whereby Tiffany worked on Dickinson's farm and had to unload hand-picked corn from horse-drawn carts.
Thanks to the untiring and persistent efforts on the part of Emmett Lee Dickinson, Tiffany was able to overcome his unfounded fears of flora and fauna, and he went on later in life to produce beautiful stained glass lampshades which depicted the very terrors of his youth.
6 by Emily
Frequently the woods are pink –
Frequently are brown.
Frequently the hills undress
Behind my native town.
Oft a head is crested
I was wont to see –
And as oft a cranny
Where it used to be –
And the Earth – they tell me –
On its Axis turned!
Wonderful Rotation!
By but twelve performed!
6 by Emmett Lee
Frequently my eyes are pink –
Frequently are red.
Frequently my mood is gray
At times my stride is lead.
Oft my head's congested
My eyes wont to see –
And oft there is an aching
Where none used to be –
And my Girth – I tell you –
On its Axis turns!
Woeful Maturation!
By the years – I'm worn!
49 by Emily
I never lost as much but twice,
And that was in the sod.
Twice have I stood a beggar
Before the door of God!
Angels – twice descending
Reimbursed my store –
Burglar! Banker – Father!
I am poor once more!
49 by Emmett Lee
I never dyed as much but twice,
And that was in the wash.
Twice have I stood a shader
Before the Laundry's hatch.
Colored socks – twice in hiding
Emblazoned my shorts –
Stainer! Stylist – Chromatographer!
I have dyed once more.
61 by Emily
Papa above!
Regard a Mouse
O'erpowered by the Cat!
Reserve within thy kingdom
A "Mansion" for the Rat!
Snug in seraphic Cupboards
To nibble all the day
While unsuspecting Cycles
Wheel solemnly away!
61 by Emmett Lee
Papa I love
I'm stuck in the house
O'ercome by Blahs – I need the car,
Might I reserve the keys
For Expansion near and far?
Stuck in static compartment
I twiddle all the day.
I need the keys – and promise to
Wheel carefully away!
69 by Emily
Low at my problem bending,
Another problem comes –
Larger than mine – Serener –
Involving statelier sums.
I check my busy pencil,
My figures file away,
Wherefore, my baffled fingers
Thy perplexity?
69 by Emmett Lee
Oh, what a problem – Bending!
A sizeable problem, when old.
Larger am I – Pleated
When forced to Fold.
I check my unjoined laces –
My figure – Double Ply –
Creased at the Waistline –
I'll rise – by-and-by.
75 by Emily
She died at play,
Gambolled away
Her lease of spotted hours,
Then sank as gaily as a Turk
Upon a Couch of flowers.
Her ghost strolled softly o'er the hill
Yesterday, and Today,
Her vestments as the silver fleece –
Her countenance as spray.
75 by Emmett Lee
She played at dice,
Gambled away
Her lease in pre-dawn hours,
Then sank as lowly as a Burn
Upon a vinyl Couch.
Her ghost strolled dully o'er the floor
Today became Yesterday,
Her investments entirely fleeced –
Her accounts – overplayed.
216 by Emily
Safe in their Alabaster Chambers –
Untouched by Morning
And untouched by Noon –
Sleep the meek members of the Resurrection –
Rafter of satin,
And Roof of Stone.
Light laughs the breeze
In her castle of above them –
Babbles the Bee in a stolid Ear,
Pipe the Sweet Birds in ignorant cadence –
Ah, what sagacity perished here!
Version of 1859
Safe in their Alabaster Chambers –
Untouched by Morning –
And untouched by Noon –
Lie the meek members of the Resurrection –
Rafter of Satin – and Roof of Stone!
Grand go the Years – in the Crescent – above them –
Worlds scoop their Arcs –
And Firmaments – row –
Diadems – drop – and Doges – surrender –
Soundless as dots – on a Disc of Snow –
Version of 1861
216 by Emmett Lee
Safe from their Manufactured Dangers –
Unharmed by Jamming –
And unhurt by Jolt –
Steer the defended drivers of the recall,
Bumper of Granite – and Frame of Steel.
Light lit the check engine
Indicator of distress –
Rattled the clutch in the Lowest Gear,
Smoked the Bleak Exhaust in swollen vapors –
Ah, what breakdowns surfaced there!
Grind growled the Gears – in Progression – around them –
Cables shot Sparks
And the Shaft – did shake –
But following the service – the spoils – surrendered –
Smoothly now it stops – on a Disc of Brake –
239 by Emily
"Heaven" – is what I cannot reach!
The Apple on the Tree –
Provided it do hopeless – hang –
That – "Heaven" is – to Me!
The Color, on the Cruising Could –
The interdicted Land –
Behind the Hill – the House behind –
There – Paradise – is found!
Her teasing Purples – Afternoons –
The credulous – decoy –
Enamored – of the Conjuror –
That spurned us – Yesterday!
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Great American Poems – REPOEMED Volume 2by Jim Asher Copyright © 2012 by Jim Asher. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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