Synopsis:
Influential therapist Dr. Paul Hokemeyer reveals how - regardless of who we are or what we attain - we are all people who experience emotional pain, shame, and suffering. By understanding and evolving how we project onto those we put on a pedestal, we can reset how we see ourselves, relate to others, and build on the true power of connection with each other. With this work, 'Dr. Paul' sets out to reveal our shared human challenges and expand our feelings of empathy. Having treated and built therapeutic alliances with some of the world's most successful people, he demonstrates that we all - including people who seem protected by their gilded, privileged lives - can experience the self-destructive behaviours common to modern life, including substance use disorders and addiction, imposter syndrome, infidelity, narcissism, and negative body image. Division marks our era. There is a growing divide between the haves and have nots, men and women, as well as the empowered and the powerless. At the same time, the idolisation of celebrity, affluence, and power marks our culture. While we like to think that our lives would be better if we could just 'have what they have' or 'be more like' someone else, its time to realise that we're all connected by the things that make us human, which includes emotional pain. Building a shared sense of social empathy, we take an important step away from division and toward a culture of connection.
Review:
"One of the reasons we read is to empathize. To understand the lives of others. To value experiences not our own. In doing so, quite often we learn about ourselves. Dr. Paul Hokemeyer's Fragile Power is an illuminating, compassionate study of the mental and emotional issues hiding beneath the veneer of success. His subjects are among the superelite, but his wisdom and insight are relevant to anyone who struggles with identity, shame, and self-worth. An intimate, highly readable book filled with Dr. Paul's generosity of spirit and grace."----David Ebershoff, New York Times best-selling author of The Danish Girl and The 19th Wife
"Freud believed that at a certain point--middle age--it's impossible to correct a personality disorder. In Fragile Power, Dr. Paul Hokemeyer proves that even the great Sigmund made mistakes. It's never too late to change, and Hokemeyer explains how to start."----Gerald Clarke, New York Times best-selling author of Capote and Get Happy
"Fragile Power is a fascinating look into the psychological world of the rich and famous. The incredibly wise Dr. Hokemeyer uses examples that explore topics such as ambition, vanity, sex, and beauty. His examples and techniques are both wildly entertaining and remarkably informative, and allow the reader to empathize with this elite group of curious."----David Burtka, chef, caterer, and actor; author and host of an award-winning Food Network special--both titled Life Is a Party
"It's easy to forget, when you're in therapy, that the living, breathing human being sitting across from you is experiencing their own range of emotions. In Fragile Power, Dr. Paul Hokemeyer brings that living, breathing human being to life. . . beautifully. A psychological examination that somehow manages to also be a page-turner, Fragile Power reveals the insecurities that the person on the other side of the couch is experiencing while also bringing empathy and understanding to a segment of the population that tends not to receive any. If any book can show you how skewed our societal values are, this is it."----Anna David, New York Times best-selling author of Party Girl
"Dr. Paul reminds us that happiness is an inside job--even for billionaires. This smart and timely book reveals the cultural and economic issues that divide us. Polarization leads us to believe that if we can get past the velvet rope and achieve social identity through wealth and power, it will heal us. Dr. Paul's core idea is that social cohesion follows from self-awareness, empathy, and connection. No one's power can buy their way out of that hard work. Important commentary for all."----Richard Socarides, human rights advocate, communications strategist, attorney, Clinton White House advisor, CNN political commentator, and writer for The New Yorker
"Paul Hokemeyer pulls the curtain back, exposing the internal battles of upscale and privileged individuals in our culture. Fragile Power is filled with anecdotal examples where he lays bare the unique types of loneliness, despair, and fragility within the addictive climate of "celebrity," while exploring the challenges these people face in seeking help and counsel. Hokemeyer reveals the pain behind lavish lifestyles and seemingly enviable situations. A must-read."----Susan Weitzman, PhD, LCSW, author of "Not to People Like Us"
"Fragile Power is an important contribution to our understanding of the human being who embodies the paradox of power and powerlessness, of control and vulnerability, of worth and worthlessness--and how when untreated and unresolved, can destroy a life."-- --Kathleen O'Hara, MA, LPC, psychotherapist and the author of A Grief Like No Other
"I highly recommend you pick up this book and read it! Thank you, Dr. Paul, for giving us a peek into your magic world of "fragile power"--a world so few understand. This is a must-read for anyone in the recovery field, and the way it's written is exactly who Paul is: funny, witty, and compassionate!"-- --Janique Svedberg, author, recovery coach, and interventionist
"Wealth. Power. Melancholia? With empathy and insight, Dr. Hokemeyer examines the worlds of successful people--those we admire and emulate--only to find deeply troubled souls at their core. This book provides essential insight into the challenges that face those who, on the surface, embody the perfect human being. Truly a must-read."-- --Johnny Lops, DO, psychiatrist and author of Reinvent Yourself
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