CHAPTER 1
Dreams
To sleep, perchance to dream ...
William Shakespeare
One of the most common ways people connect fromthe other side is through dreams. The dreams throughwhich souls contact their living loved ones are very differentfrom ordinary dreams. They are vivid and rational—thingshappen in proper sequence, as opposed to the topsy-turvysequences of everyday, run-of-the-mill dreams, and theyare generally suffused with light. The dreamer remembersthem; they don't fade as soon as the dreamer awakens.These dreams aren't just realistic; they also often impartinformation.
At the Bus
In a very lucid dream of mine, my long-dead mother,Minnie, appeared and told me that she was helping peoplewho'd been killed in a bus crash to make the transition tothe afterlife. A tiny river separated us, and I watched as shegently helped people's souls leave their bodies so they couldmove on. When I attempted to cross over, she shooed meaway impatiently, just as she might have done in "real" life.She said she was really busy.
"This is my work now," she said. "I just wanted you to knowwhat I'm doing. But you have to stay on your side of theriver." So I stayed on my side of the river—but at some pointwe all have to cross the river, don't we?
When I awoke I heard on the morning news about a buscrash in which most of the elderly occupants had been killed.That river crossing was indeed busy.
* * *
Millie's Dad
When Millie's father died, she stayed at her mother's hometo help ease her loneliness. At week's end, Millie's fatherappeared to her in a dream and said, "Go to your mother.She's making herself sick worrying. I told her when I died I'dgive her a sign I was okay by tweaking her toes in the middleof the night. Well, she's been sitting up in bed every night,scared that I would keep my promise. She's not sleeping atall. She'll make herself so sick she'll die, too, so tell her Iwon't tweak her toes. It's not her time to die."
Millie walked down the hallway to her mother's room. Itwas 3:00 a.m., but there was a sliver of light under thebedroom door. Millie knocked. "Come in," said her mom.When Millie entered, she discovered her mother sittingupright in bed, her eyes wide open. She looked terrified.
Millie sat down on the edge of the bed. "Ma, Pa came tovisit me in a dream. He said to tell you to go to sleep; you'remaking yourself sick. And he promised not to tweak yourtoes."
Her mother burst into tears. "That was our secret—we nevertold anyone. Now I feel awful. He'll think I don't lovehim."
Millie said, "He knows you love him. He just doesn't wantyou to scare yourself to death."
Her mother calmed down and finally slept. Millie returnedto her own home the next day, secure that her dad waswatching out for her mom. And her mom was relieved,knowing he wasn't going to tweak her toes.
* * *
Stella's Healing Journey
Stella, only forty-five years old, had been diagnosed withterminal cancer. A tumor had invaded all the main arteriesand nerves in her groin, and no treatment was available.After meditating, praying, and soul-searching for weeks, shefelt she had to surrender to the idea that her life was comingto an end. One night, after finally having reached a peacefulstate, she fell sound asleep and had a vivid dream in whichan all-enveloping light appeared and said, "If you choose,you can survive." It then told her how.
Stella awoke the next morning determined to question thedoctors about creating a bypass in her groin that wouldskirt around the tumor. The solution in her dream becamea reality when the doctors reassessed her case and came upwith a risky bypass technique that had never been donebefore but might solve her problem. They were willing toperform the operation if Stella were willing to risk it—everyoneknew she could die during the procedure. Theoperation was successful, and some twenty years later, Stellasaid, "I had to surrender to death in order to experience theluminous dream that offered me the way to my healing.Surrendering to death gave me renewed life."
* * *
Boy of My Dreams
Stella's dream life continued to inform her. She had a seriesof vivid dreams about a little blond, blue-eyed boy whowould appear to her in one dream and then disappear inanother. The dreams were so disturbing that she discussedthem with a close friend. She wondered what the dreamsmeant. Was her son's wife pregnant? If so, why did the childappear and disappear?
Stella's son Mark and his wife Lilli lived in California. Theyalready had two children, and as far as they were concerned,their family was complete. However, there was a little soulhovering around them who had other ideas. Lilli becamepregnant, and because for personal reasons the couple wastrying to decide whether or not to terminate the pregnancy,they did not tell their parents. When the couple finallydecided not to terminate, they shared their original dilemmawith Stella, who was relieved.
"That explained the dreams, and the conflict," Stella latersaid.
Stella was present at the baby's birth, and when she held theblond, blue-eyed boy in her arms, he stared straight intoher eyes and she felt a shock of recognition flowing betweenthem. Now that he is over three years old, and beloved by hisparents, sisters, and grandparents, he still has a special bondwith the grandma whom he visited while he was but a tinyembryo. And he looks exactly like the child of her dreams.
* * *
Mother Knows Best
Two sisters, Carol and Charlotte, were members of my griefgroup because their mother, Pam, had died two monthsearlier after a brief but deadly illness. In addition to mourningtheir mother, the women were very upset with their father,who had begun dating a woman shortly after Pam's death.The woman, who had been staying with a next-doorneighbor during Pam's illness, pounced at the opportunityto offer help, casseroles, and, finally, condolences. Caroland Charlotte felt the woman was taking advantage of theirdad's vulnerability, and they were seriously dismayed whenhe invited her to move into what they still viewed as theirmother's home. They were especially disturbed when theirdad drank excessively with his new partner; they felt he wasavoiding grieving by bringing her into his home to fill thegap left by Pam's loss.
The sisters tried to share their feelings with their father,but he refused to listen. He expected them to accept theusurper with open hearts and arms, and he also expected hisdaughters and their children to continue visiting him andswimming in the family pool, just as they had always done.Carol and Charlotte said they couldn't condone their dad'sbehavior, and they cut off all contact with him, causingextreme pain on all sides. The sisters were certain that Pamwould have been angry and mortified if she had known ofher husband's actions. However, Pam appeared in dreams toboth women independently, saying cheerfully that she didn'tgive a damn that he'd moved in with another woman andencouraging them to let go of their anger.
Charlotte said, "We're still not happy with the arrangement,but Carol and I have vented our feelings with both our dadand his live-in lover, and we're patching up our relationshipswith him." The grandkids are delighted to spend time withtheir grandfather (and to swim in the pool again). It's anuneasy truce: the father's relationship will unfold one wayor another, and either way, it's not in the sisters' control. Butbecause Pam told them in no uncertain terms to let it go,they are trying to do so.
* * *
Mom, Dad Needs Help!
Julia worried about her dad, Mac, who was so depressed atthe loss of his wife that he wept almost constantly for twomonths following her death. Julia, a health-care worker,knew this went beyond normal grief. She begged her dad togo for psychological help, but he refused, saying, "I can takecare of myself." Mac and his wife, both born in Scotland,shared an independent streak. Julia prayed to her mom,Maggie, to help her dad through his depression.
When Julia visited her dad the next afternoon, he said,"Your mother came to me last night in a dream. It was soreal. She was partying with all her dead Scottish friends andrelatives, as well as mine! You know, Julia, your mother wasenjoying herself, singing and dancing and laughing, andshe waved good-bye to me. I think she was telling me she'smoved on." Now that Mac knew Maggie was among lovingfriends and relatives, his extreme depression lifted.
Julia, grateful for Mac's healing, was convinced that hermother had played a substantial role in it. When Juliareturned to her home, she not only felt Maggie's presence,she also smelled a strong, familiar scent—her mother'sdistinctive perfume. As Julia says, "The nose knows."
* * *
Man of My Dreams
Vera, an American Methodist missionary, was sent to Javain November 1923 to teach at a Methodist-funded schoolfor young girls. She had already reconciled herself to beingan "old maid," since she never expected to marry. In orderto communicate with her students, she studied Dutch andMalay, and she lived with a native family for eight monthsto learn the dialect. The Javanese family's ancestors wereheadhunters; they lived in very primitive conditions. Verafelt lonely and isolated.
In 1929 Vera and another female missionary traveled toEgypt and the Holy Land without male companions—a verycourageous thing to do at that time. Vera was an intrepidwarrior for Christ, and she fully trusted that he would guideher through all life's difficulties. After spending some timeback in the United States, Vera returned to Indonesia andwent to Sumatra for a conference of regional missionaries.The night before the meeting, she had what she describedas "a very vivid dream." She was on her knees, scrubbingthe floor in a native-built hut, when her eyes were drawn tothe light-filled doorway. Standing there, illuminated, was afair-haired young man with brilliant blue eyes. They madeeye contact, and she knew immediately that he was to beher husband. Their hearts, minds, and souls connected: thiswas the mate God intended for her.
The next day, while attending the regional conference, Verawas introduced to the same young man she had seen in herdream—fair-haired, blue-eyed, and, to her, "electric." TheSwedish-born Egon was instantly smitten, too.
The Methodist Church in Sweden had sent Egon toSumatra to work with Chinese refugees from the Sino-Japanesewar—they were largely Sumatra's merchant class.Egon was fluent in Chinese, having studied in China foreight months. When he eventually established a church inSumatra, the congregants became his good friends as wellas his parishioners.
Egon proposed to Vera shortly after they met, and of courseshe said yes. Six months later, they were married. Duringthe next twelve years, they had three children, and survivedthe Japanese occupation of Sumatra during the war. Becauseshe was the wife of a Swedish national and named on herhusband's passport, the Japanese thought she was Swedish,and they allowed both missionaries to visit English andDutch detainees in the internment camps. Egon and Verasmuggled in drugs, food, and clothing to the half-starvedinhabitants, many of whom died despite the couple's efforts.In fact, Egon and Vera's family was half-starved, too.
After the war, Vera, who was in ill health, went back to theStates with their children. She urged Egon to leave, also,but he said he had some unfinished business to handle.Knowing he was impulsive, she begged him to join thefamily, but he again refused.
Unfortunately, Vera's foreboding was prophetic. After sheleft, Egon went on a Red Cross mission to the village ofTebing Tinggi. His friends had warned him not to go,telling him the trip was too dangerous because extremistswere attempting to overthrow the government and wereterrorizing the villagers. He went anyway, without explainingwhy he felt so compelled.
Egon's secret? He knew that in Tebing Tinggi there wasa list of Chinese merchants whose donations had paid forthe medicine and food he and Vera had smuggled into theJapanese internment camps. The extremists wanted the list,and if they found it they would murder everyone on it. Egoncould not let that happen to his friends and parishioners, andso, risking his life, he went to Tebing Tinggi. He successfullydestroyed the list, but just as his train departed, he wastaken from the platform by two extremists. Vera's fears werejustified—Egon was killed.
Vera raised their children on her own and sent all threeto college, although she never made more than a hundreddollars a week working for the church. She later published abook about her husband entitled O Bok Su: The Story of EgonOstrom, Known to the Chinese as "O Bok Su," an Ambassadorof the Kingdom of God. It was a best seller in Sweden, whereEgon is considered a hero. He most certainly was—and sowas his American wife.
* * *
Space-Time Travel
Margarita, a registered nurse, had a patient named Harry,who was dying of AIDS.
"We became friends," Margarita said. "Harry was a delightfulperson and kept his sense of humor throughout his illness."At one point during their relationship, Harry shared thefollowing experience with her:
He had called his friend Kelly, who had moved to NewMexico, to tell her he couldn't visit her in her new homeas planned—he was too busy dying. That evening he hada very vivid dream: he flew to New Mexico, entered Kelly'shome, stepped into the foyer, and walked slowly throughthe house, remarking on her decorating. It was a thoroughlyenjoyable visit. When he woke up, he called Kelly and toldher the details of the dream.
"I can't believe it—you've described my house perfectly!"Kelly said. "How did you do that?"
"I don't know," Harry said. "The dream was so real. I lovedyour decorating, and your house—I felt like I was there.Maybe it's because I'm so close to dying. Anyway, I'm gladI could visit. And I didn't even have to pay for a planeticket!"
When he told Margarita about the dream later, he asked her,"Do you think souls can fly?"
"It looks like yours did, Harry," she said. "Souls aren'tearthbound. That's why you could travel beyond space andtime."
* * *
Family Reunion
Colleen and Peter were blessed with eleven children. Theyalso had a stillborn son, whom they named James. Althoughhe was born when they were a very young couple, Colleenand Peter always remembered James, cherishing the sonthey never knew. Over the years their family grew and grew;eventually their descendants included grandchildren, great-grandchildren,and a great-great-grandchild.
They had been married for sixty-eight years when Peterbecame gravely ill. Colleen was determined to care for him,and so, with the help of several of her children who livednearby, she kept him at home. Shortly after he enteredhospice care, Peter died, surrounded by his children. Theysustained one another and supported their mother duringtheir grief.
Several days later, as Colleen was preparing to leave thehouse for the wake, Peter's sister Michaela arrived and asked,"Have you seen Peter?"
"Yes, I have," Colleen replied. "How did you know?"
"Oh, you went to the wake early," Michaela said.
"No, I haven't been to the wake yet," Colleen said. "Petercame to me in a dream last night. It was so vivid. A brightlight surrounded him. He looked healthy and happy. He washolding baby James, and a huge shaft of light shone directlyon the baby."
Michaela said, "I had a Mass said for Peter at my church."She handed the Mass card to Colleen, who was startled tosee the painting on the face of the card: it showed the VirginMary holding baby Jesus in the same way that Peter hadheld baby James in her dream. A bright shaft of light shoneon the infant. "Turn the card over," Michaela said, smiling."The Mass was said at St. James church."
Several weeks after the funeral, Colleen was diagnosed withincurable cancer. The family was devastated. "Before Peterdied, I told him to meet me when it was my time to go,"Colleen said. "I didn't know it was going to be so soon."She was, however, comforted to know that she would bereunited with both Peter and the son she never knew.
* * *
A Great Friend, a Great-Grandma, and a Gorilla
Lori and her friend Dan used to joke about being relatedbecause both of them were descended from Russian Jews.They were proud of their ancestry, and Dan and his wife evenadopted a Russian child. Unfortunately, Dan's time withhis child was cut short: Dan discovered he had pancreaticcancer. After the diagnosis, he held on to life as long as hecould for his daughter, wife, family, and friends. His illnesswas difficult for him and his loved ones.
